Okay, I really didn’t plan on loading this front page with all these videos, but life happens. Move or be moved. Dance or be danced… or something like that.
And I’m technically a day late on both of these (well two days for the first one), so hopefully you have yet to bear witness to the Lonely Island and Film Cow’s latest masterpieces:
Makes sense.
(via Topless Robot on Twitter)
Internet memes are a phenomenon in so much that they spread faster than a wildfire, faster than a rumor in high school, and faster than any milk product through my lactose intolerant friend, Jay.
Now when you take something we’ve all seen and taken for granted and add music… Internet Meme 2.0.
YouTube user/musician ParryGripp has done just that. I’ve featured one of his videos once before (that got taken down because the original video poster is a d-bag). It was Hamster On a Piano that was eating popcorn. It was hilarious, I thought, but these are of the same, if not higher, caliber. Enjoy!
I’d never proclaim to be a huge fan of wrestling. Even back before the World Wildlife Fund made them change their name, I wasn’t too into any of the WrestleManias or the Sunday matches. A few of my friends were, though, so the WWE superstars of the day blipped my pop culture radar. And a little cartoon BITD (“back in the day”) also helped:
But since this Sunday (tomorrow) is WrestleMania XXV, I’m going to post the best things I ever think came out of the WWF WWE… BITD, of course.
5) “Macho Man” Randy Savage sure did love him some Slim Jims. Why it’s relevant to me? On a trip to Houston, Texas, there was one day I devoted to eating only Slim Jims and pickles, and drinking MGD. The next day I devoted to the hotel bathroom.
4) Andre the Giant was in The Princess Bride. Why it’s relevant to me? I always thought he seemed like a nice guy, and the movie helped confirm that (if I remember correctly). Man, I haven’t seen that movie in a long time. All I truly remember is the scene where Wesley and the “Inconceivable!” guy keep switching poisoned glasses. And Inigo Montoya, of course.
3) Sargent Slaughter was a G.I. Joe toy and on the cartoon! Why it’s relevant to me? He was on the cartoon! (I wasn’t allowed to collect G.I. Joe because they were too much like Star Wars, according to my mom.)
2) Rowdy Roddy Piper was in John Carpenter’s They Live. Why it’s relevant to me? Just watch this clip and tell me it’s not relevant to you.
1) Hulk Hogan was a Real American. Why it’s relevant to me? Um, Hulk Hogan plays on an electric guitar painted like the American flag standing in front of an American flag like he’s motherfucking General Patton just before a scene of a building being demolished. That’s just the first 30 seconds! And it only gets better, I promise you…
Your mind will probably already be made up before I finishing claiming the opposite, but I do not intentionally seek out website addresses with the word “fuck” in them. In fact, they find me. That’s the way it is with so-called dirty words… they just jump out at you.
I used to work in a medical center filing reports, and believe me, it becomes like A Beautiful Mind when you stumble across any sex term. The words start growing and floating off the page. But now I’m off topic, as usual.
Today I present, Why the Fuck Do You Have a Kid? Sample anyone?
becuz ur supposed to keep at least six inches between u and ur dance partner
Just a small example of the sad state of affairs hilarity that exists on the site. Enjoy? I mean – ENJOY!
I’ve had some doozies of dreams lately. Alone, they probably don’t amount to much, but together… they still don’t probably amount to much. I just think the cast has been strange of late, so here they are, collected as an anthology, separated by photos, natch.
It's a D.L.T. (Duchovny + Leoni + Travolta)
In this dream, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were still together, and they happened to be the parents of my friend/boss Paul’s kids (his lists are begrudgingly featured on this very site). Does this mean that I subconsciously refer to them as such? WTF do I know?
Anytruthisoutthere, the family went to a campground where the parents and kids stayed on opposite sides. The twisted purpose of the camp was to make the parents forget about their kids as they are set off into the real world alone. Pretty Roald Dahl-type stuff here.
So as the weeks and months go by, the two tykes survive in the world with the help of a magical friend, played by John Travolta, looking exactly like he does above for his role in The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3. As he helps Paul’s kids find their way back to Dave and Tea, Dave and Tea slowly remember that they have kids they need to find. They prepare to leave the campground after six months, and the child-hating neighbors become suspicious. When readying to leave their house (must have been a fancy campground), everyone stares through their front windows at them. It was creepy, trust me.
See what happens when you put Charles in charge.
This was kind of a quick snippet. In the dream, the TripleDoubleU was all in a tizzy because allegedly there was a quick nude scene in an old episode of Charles in Charge, featuring Nicole Eggert.
Way to go subconscious. Make dream nudity as geeky as possible.
"Melanie Chartoff and Neil Flynn were sitting in a tree..."
I was back in high school in this dream, and the Principal from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose(season one coming to DVD June 30th – yay!) and the Janitor from Scrubs were my principal and janitor. And I caught them. Making out. And possibly more. I was having a bad day in the dream (of course), and after bearing witness to their deeds, I knew I had carte blanche. I whistled as I walked the halls, long after the class bells rang.
Meet my brother. He's a Muppet.
In this last bit, I was in a JC Penney for some reason. Everybody was dancing around like I was in some sort of musical. My brother appeared to me in the form of a Muppet and he lead me into the part of the store that basically was Sesame Street. This probably has to do with what I got him as a birthday gift, but still… weird.
INGREDIENTS: Peanut butter bagels, and probably my growing Twitter addiction (don’t believe my addiction… just check out my last three posts).
UPDATE: It was a stupid April Fool’s joke, but then again, look at the perpetrator.
You can see the great certainty with which I’m announcing the the fact that Heidi Montag Tweeted that she’s not only expecting, but she’s hoping it’s a boy. Is it an April Fool’s Joke?
From her Twitter page:
Now, I must admit… I’m still not sure the page is real. She does so much “Bible thumping” and “God is great!” singing and dancing, that it seemed out of character for her. But alas, I (obviously) do not know her, and I don’t live in L.A. to verify her events, such as her supposed Ryan Seacrest show appearance that was cancelled, so it could be real.
So hey, I guess that kind of puts the kibosh on my wish list plans for next Christmas…
BONUS: Click here to hear her new songs. Oh, the timing of it all! What kismet! Hahaha… KIIS-met! That’s Seacrest’s station! And did you also know season five of The Hillsstarts April 6th? Such serendipity! Extra emphasis on the dipity!
Um, I have not much more to add to this. The pictures say it all. If a photo is worth a thousand words, these doodles have to be at least worth, what… 1672 words? But no matter what, they sum up my feelings about Pixar and Subpar Dreamworks perfectly. (Hey, there’s no mention of Finding Nemo? Oh well. And I will admit that I did enjoy Over the Hedge, though it bears minimal resemblance to the cartoon strip is was based on.)
Whether you’re a fan of Twitter or not, there’s an interesting site out there that kinda sorta acts like the ear of Santa Claus, or maybe any of the gods or politicians you heathens pray to… Hail Zeus! (Or maybe it’s what people call crying help lines about – see below.)
Anywebtrend, the site is Twistori, and it basically searches Twitter for any phrase that contains I love, I hate, I think, I believe, I feel, or I wish (which is basically everybody), and it streams them according to which set you pick. As proof of narcissism or as a social experiment, it’s pretty neat, I think. Here’s a couple screen shots, but I love it when you check things out for yourself. I hate the fact you might miss out on in. I think you should check it out, srsly. I believe it’s not-to-be-missed. I feel it’s one of the more interesting side application websites. I wish you would visit that site soon.
(See what I did there? Ah, go stuff yourself.)
(I wish I knew what this phone line was all about.)
The after-effect of a drunken Snuggie Pub Crawl.
(pic from MomLogic via Switched)
Snuggies have taken pop culture by storm, and in this case, a baby hostage.
I know thought I’ve written about them before, and I know thought I’ve posted this video before (it’s a shame when you can’t even find shit on your site), but here we go again for the first time(?):
But how does one even go about putting on a Baby Snuggie? It has to be one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen AND one of the worst ideas on top of that! Think about it. Babies make stinkies a lot… and unless you’re a fan of Dutch ovens (no, not that link – this one), do you really want to wear a sweater that captures that scent? And uh, if you have a baby attached to your hipchest, how are you going to challenge those Muay Thai fighters and save the rec center?
Now I’m not knocking Snuggies on all accounts. There are pub crawls held for good causes that require participants be cloaked in the backwards robes. I may even participate in one… Who’s thinkin’ drink specials?
I’m just wondering what the next comfort craze will be. Perhaps this?
Is the shield a pillow?
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 
