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Musical Musings… Country Music Ain’t What It Used To (Stereotypically) Be

Posted on April 28, 2011 by sgottahurt

I finally got Sirius XM a few months ago, and as it goes with most new technologies that I drag my feet on, I don’t know how I lived without it.

(SIDENOTE: I’m still unsure how I feel about Facebook. It reminds of the last fifteen minutes of LOST when everyone finds each other in “heaven” against all odds. Have I mentioned how much I hate the last fifteen minutes of LOST?)

That being said, I bounce around the stations. Whereas I used to have about 10 terrestrial channels, I now have an additional 10 solid satellite ones, if not more. So for me to stumble across a crossover country song isn’t that unusual. What is unusual is this song by Tim McGraw called Felt Good on My Lips:

That’s country music? I mean, yeah, there’s still the omnipresent xenophobia, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard a good ol’ boy recite these kind of lyrics:

She ordered us a drink
It was a purple kind of pink
She said it’s got a shot of a little bit of everything
Mellow yellow umbrella for a fella like me
It was just a bit mellow for me to be seen with

And also, what’s up with the last song by Taylor Swift? Back to December sounds like it wants to be the first countremo song (that would be emo country in case you were wondering):

In the spirit of full disclosure – ~~I kind of like both songs~~ I don’t really give a ten-gallon hat.

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… They Just Don’t Make Creepy Stalker Songs Anymore

Posted on April 26, 2011 by sgottahurt

Love ain’t what it used to be, I guess. And what it used to be was creepy and stalker-ish. How these songs were possible isn’t my greatest concern… it’s the fact that they were popular!

Each of these songs were certifiable as The Shit at the time of their initial release (or in one case, re-release).

Little Peggy March’s I Will Follow Him (1963)

This one should be obvious. But it should be noted that it’s a remake of a French song… about stalking. It should also be noted that Little Peggy March was 15 when she recorded this (and she’s still the youngest female artist to have a U.S. chart-topping single).

The Bells’ Stay Awhile (1971)

Sample lyrics: Into my room he creeps? Into my dreams he peeps? This is a love song? (BTW, I love this video someone made, mostly because the dude is wearing an eye patch…)

Blondie’s One Way or Another (1979)

Singer Debbie Harry based this song on her ex that once stalked her. I never realized it was about that, although I should have from the chorus, or with these lyrics: I’ll walk down the mall/ Stand over by the wall/ Where I can see it all/ Find out who ya call…

Bennie Mardones’ Into the Night (1980 and 1989)

Okay, this one isn’t as heavy on the stalker side as it is creepy. With lyrics like She’s just 16 years old/ Leave her alone, they say, it’s a creepy win. Neil Diamond almost made this list for the same reason, but there was some extrapolating involved. He wrote Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon in 1967, then he wrote Sweet Caroline in 1969 about Caroline Kennedy… who was 12 at the time.

The Police’s Every Breathe You Take (1983)

Sting claims it’s more about Big Brother than a voyeuristic lover, but either way… heebie-jeebies ensue.

Lionel Richie’s Hello (1984)

If it weren’t for the video, this one could have slid by unnoticed. But I’m not blind… that was probably a poor choice of words. Don Henley’s Boys of Summer almost took a spot for swimming around stalking (I’m driving by your house/ Though I know that you’re not home… Remember how you drove me crazy?/ Remember how I made you scream?), but its video, which is nowhere to be (easily) found, kept memories of it light and nostalgic.

So where are all the good creepy stalker songs these days? In 27 years, have they truly gone the way of Just Shitty?

Nevermind…

In Defense Of… The Victorious Secrets

Posted on April 23, 2011 by sgottahurt

Most of you may not know who The Victorious Secrets are by name, but last year, they won FSN Detroit’s annoying April in the D contest.

To those of you not from “The D,” April is that time of year when three of our Detroit sports teams – Tigers, Red Wings, and Pistons – are supposed to be playing simultaneously… I say that begrudgingly because it requires two of the teams to make it to the playoffs, and only one has… for twenty years! (The Pistons might pull out of their slump next year with the new owner…)

Anyhoopdreams, back to the contest. Last year, The Victorious Secret won with this song:

Then they went on to win FreeCreditScore.com’s similar contest with this ditty:

And now you see them in these national commercials:

I WANT THEM TO COME BACK AND MAKE ANOTHER APRIL IN THE D SONG!

This is the crap that won this year:

They actually use the phrase raise the roof non-ironically…

It’s a sort of situation when you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone. And yes, I’m saying that non-ironically…

Drunken Recollection… Chair Dancing Competition

Posted on April 19, 2011 by sgottahurt

Ooookay… so chair dancing might not be the best descriptor.

While drinking one night (hence the post’s header), I stated there should be a dance competition between seated performers. Specifically, you can dance your ass off, but your ass must remain planted on a chair. Hence ~~chair dancing~~ sit down dancing.

Here are some videos I found of others with the same idea:

At least it’s better than this:

Musical Musings… This Song Is So 1982

Posted on April 15, 2011 by sgottahurt

Imagine the year is 1982…

You’re Neil Diamond, and you just walked out of the movie theater with (then) married friends, Carol Bayer Sager and Burt Bacharach.

Together you’ve witnessed what you consider is probably the greatest children’s movie of all time – Steven Spielberg’s E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial.

United, you are so moved beyond words that it screams to come out in song.

After all, between the three of you, you’ve written Sweet Caroline, Nobody Does It Better, and Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head. And the result is this:

How fucking corny and fucking lovely is that song? Ironically, it was Diamond’s eighth (and last) top 5 hit on the chart (according to his Wikipedia entry).

Now do you want to hear the exact opposite of that?

Awesome Battle… Movie Posters Featuring Dogs With Sunglasses

Posted on April 14, 2011 by sgottahurt

When I set out to compile this Awesome Battle, I honestly expected to encounter more fodder for the masses. So in addition to a slide show rolling through the history of movie posters featuring dogs in sunglasses (or any type of eye wear), I decided to seek out the source of this unfortunately underused fad.

To begin, here’s the slide show:

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Now some might be inclined to believe that Carl Reiner’s Summer School poster kicked off the trend, but that was released around the time of Bud Light’s Spuds MacKenzie ad campaign, and Spuds was quite the party animal. Check out his “wild” antics here:

(SIDENOTE: Here’s his “wild” music mix, including “wild” songs by The Beach Boys, Jerry Lee Lewis, and The Human Beinz.)

Spuds MacKenzies Party Faves... Album?

And maybe others might even further think that this Dustin Hoffman classic was the inspiration for it all:

Straw Dogs (1971)

But in reality, you’d have to go all the way back to this Walt Disney classic for the source:

Old Yeller (1957)

(SIDENOTE: Yes, those are Gucci sunglasses on Old Yeller…)

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Mah Nà Mah Nà

Posted on April 12, 2011 by sgottahurt

This little video has been pretty popular lately, and it’s a dark twist on an old favorite. Wait ’til you see where it started.

The latest incarnation – Tune for Two

The old favorite – The Muppets

The new favorite – The Office

The original song – Mah Nà Mah Nà

And here’s the trailer for the movie that song was from – Sweden: Heaven and Hell

JusWondering… Is This Another Controversial Call?

Posted on April 10, 2011 by sgottahurt

The Detroit Lions certainly have a catch in wide receiver Calvin Johnson. Early last season, there was a bit of a controversy regarding one of his catches, and whether it was a completion or not:

But I recently saw this commercial, and it surprised me:

Did it surprise me because they didn’t mention Johnson played for the Lions? No.

Did it surprise me because the Lions are owned by the Ford family and Acura is owned by Honda? Sorta.

Did it surprise me that Calvin Johnson would drive an Acura? Yes.

Of all the cars out there, it stunned me that an NFL player would choose to endorse Acura. That’s the latest controversial call.

Now an Olympic skier, on the other hand, I can see… (and Ashleigh McIvor’s a Canadian to boot):

Hibbidy-Wah?! WTF Is Wrong With Skittles Candy?!

Posted on April 8, 2011 by sgottahurt

I don’t know if these air on TV, but I’ve only just discovered them.

What they do they have to do with Skittles? I have little idea. But if these rainbow-colored, bite-sized candies made me trip rainbow-colored, bite-sized balls anywhere near the level the makers of these commercials had to be… I’d probably still not eat them. I’m more of a Reese’s or Twix guy – their commercials only make me think of two things getting mixed together or pause.