TV

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Really Unwanted Typecasting

Posted on by sgottahurt

All Most Actors! have precious egos.  That’s why more often than not, they don’t like typecasting.

Now some Actors! benefit immensely from typecasting.  If they’re weird-looking, they play weirdos; if they’re pretty, they play pretty people.

Don’t tell me Julia Roberts or Brad Pitt weren’t playing Julia Roberts or Brad Pitt in most of their movies.  The only reason Julia Roberts won her Oscar for Erin Brockovich was because she played outside of her type.  She stepped (slightly) beyond her bubble (by showing pushed-up cleavage), just like Halle Berry did (by getting completely naked) in Monster’s Ball and Charlize Theron did (by looking ugly and getting naked) in Monster (those examples are Coinkydinks).

(SIDENOTE: I’m not sure what Sandra Bullock did except get cheated on…)

Anyboobs, Susan Sarandon has had a recurring character this season on 30 Rock.  She’s been playing Lynn Onkman, the former teacher and lover of Frank… or in a word – a pedophile:

His hat should have read, "HOT FOR EACHER"... it's funny because the "T" fell off.

Where the Coinkydink or Coinkydonk comes into play is in Adam Sandler’s new movie, That’s My Boy, her daughter Eva Amurri plays – wait for it – a pedophile.  Or should I say teacher and lover?

BONUS FIND!  Though not in the preview, according to IMDb, Susan Sarandon is listed as third in the billing (she portrays her daughter’s character all grown up, ‘natch).

So is it all on accident (Coinkydink)?

Or is it a serious case of typecasting (Coinkydonk)?

Either way, Eva Amurri needs to be in more.

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… The Man Of Action For President!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I didn’t have a blog back in 2005, and YouTube was just getting started, so pretend this post took place in that very same year, about a very special brand of hero…

I’m beginning to have my faith restored in humanity, and there’s a very simple reason why:

Buddy Lee will be a write-in for U.S. President in 2008!

In case you’re unaware of his credentials, I found a new website called Yourtoob that shows videos with plenty of proof why he would make a good president.  I’m sure that he could beat Dick Cheney or Hillary Clinton any day!

He stops at nothing to save the day, even if it’s just a cat:

He was a volunteer firefighter:

He was a valued police officer:

He inspired a haircut craze that was bigger than Jennifer Aniston’s The Rachel:

He even knows how to have a good time:

Just Sh–ty To The Sh–? Is This Annoying Commercial Growing On Me?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Metro PCS is to all the other cell phone companies like a hot dog vendor is to chain restaurants.  It’s cheap, and if you need it, it’s food a phone.

For their latest ad campaign, they feature a very annoying song (as opposed to racist caricatures*) that for some reason is seeping into the part of my brain that likes hot dogs from street vendors… wait, that doesn’t sound right.

*If you don’t remember…

Hibbidy-Wah?! Why Is No One Pitching A “B” About This?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I think it’s really weird surprising that a channel like ABC would have a show on it called GCB.  Here’s the poster:

It stands for "Good Christian Blondes," right? It doesn't!

Well, that’s a one-in-a-thousand shot-in-the-dark(ness-of-hell) scenario.  It’s based on a book written by a lady, so there’s that.  But the show’s written and produced by men, so there’s that.  But at least one of them is gay, so there’s that.

I don’t know what any of those that’s are really about, but what about the chances that this exists!  And on the same network!

Please tell me this "B" is short for "Black-Haired Girl"...

Have we come so far as a society that it’s okay to name not one – but two – TV shows using the short-hand form of the word bitch? And both of those shows are on a channel owned by Disney?!

I guess ABC Family raised (?) the bar with its Secret Life of the American Teenager:

(Thanks Joel McHale and The Soup!)

Worth 1002 Words… My Next Haircut Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hakuna Mawutdafuka

Some alternates:

  • The Lorass
  • Lion Ring
  • Mane Event
  • Receding Hairlion

(I must stop there because everything will be “lion” puns… And I’m not lion!)

InASense, Lost… Eddie The Flying Gimp From Outer Space

Posted on by sgottahurt

For some reason, this old skit popped in my head, and luckily, I was able to find it.

God bless the TripleDoubleU…

Now you have a shared memory with me.  At least it’s not one of the dirty ones…

The Silver Lining… #4 Was #1 On Oscar Night!

Posted on by sgottahurt

The 84th Annual Academy Awards occurred last night, and as the infamous they say:

 Oh boy, did the stars come out!

But I noticed one thing that I’m sure ABC the Network wasn’t too happy about… there were a lot of NBC stars there!  Current ones!

Aside from someone obvious, like Alec Baldwin of 30 Rock (he was at the one of the special events… I think the one Oprah won at), you had plenty of Thursday night’s Must See TV Comedy Night Done Right:

Although they weren’t nominated for anything, Tina Fey of 30 Rock, Ellie Kemper of The Office, and Maya Rudolph of Up All Night were there as presenters, and:

Oh boy, did they represent!

Three funny ladies in three serious dresses. Did they all go to posing school together?

Then when it came to Oscar nominations, you had Kristen Wiig of Saturday Night Live who was up for Best Original Screenplay:

Her "Bridesmaids" script had pooping in sinks! Oscar nod!

And then the big winner was Jim Nash of Community.  He won Best Adapted Screenplay for The Descendants:

He's the bald one mocking Angelina Jolie's earlier pose.

The best part is this is how he usually appears on Community as Dean Pelton:

These are just the tip of the Oscar's bald head!

So what does this mean ultimately?  NBC is consistently in last place of the four major networks, but they had the best showing at the Oscars.  That’s a sign of the massive amount of talent found there that dumb audiences aren’t finding!

CBS, which is in first, had only one star present… the Best Supporting Actress-nominated Melissa McCarthy of Mike & Molly:

She was hilarious on SNL, but I've never seen her show.

But she was in the movie written by  SNL  star, Wiig!

In closing, here’s what NBC’s owner, Comcast, might be saying:

Oh boy!  Oh boy!  Oh boy!

This is what I’m saying:

Oh boy, Community should be sitting pretty for a while now!

Musical Musings… Some Lame Lame Songs

Posted on by sgottahurt

My cousin Steve sent me an email a while back in which he told me to watch a certain video.  He didn’t provide any context, or drinking game rules.  It was Joe Nichols’ If Nobody Believed In You.  Check it out for yourself:

So as I watched, I wondered what my cousin was trying to showcase.  The creepy guy watching a kid’s ballgame all alone?  The creepy guy staring down a downtrodden old man?  Was Heath Ledger pulling off a Tupac/Makaveli life-after-death reinvention?

Then I realized what he was trying to tell me – this song and video were lame.

A few other songs have popped back into my life lately that are just as – if not more – lame.  And I listen to a bunch of lame music as it is.  But instead of the sappy and maudlin I’d usually reserve for the designation lame, these are sort of well-written sappy and maudlin lame songs.

  • Soul Asylum – Misery

For some reason, my boss/friend Paul started singing this around the office, and dammit if it didn’t get stuck in my head.  He does this to me often since I’m very susceptible to earworms.  But this song is flat-out awful, despite lyrics like this:

They say misery
Loves company
We could start a company
And make misery

  • Heart – All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

This I heard on the way to school.  (Yes, I’m back in school continuing education.)  I knew it better than I cared to remember.  Sample lyrics belted quite believably by Ann Wilson:

I said, here is the flower, here is the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Now, don’t try to find me, please don’t you dare
Just live in my memory, you’ll always be there

  • Debby Boone – You Light Up My Life

This seems like an easy one to pick on, but it was just featured in an episode of Raising Hope.  This is probably the queen of lame songs, and the list could go on and on from everything that followed this light-ning rod of goody-two-shoes-ness (as opposed to goody-three-shoes?)…

You know the lyrics:

A Handful Of… Collections Of Remakes

Posted on by sgottahurt

Is music made of paper?

Is music made of plastic?

Is music made of glas– okay, I’m not going to go on with this forever.

What I’m basically getting at is this: why do we recycle music?  I meant to write about this when Muppets: The Green Album came out, but I had better things to write about then, like this or this.

So now that the movie is coming out on DVD (or Blu-Ray… pick your poison), I feel it’s timely again… to share the CD’s in my collection that are collections of remakes.  I will rate them on a scale of up to five recycled Kermits, for no real reason.

Muppets: The Green Album

Keep it green. Recycle.

3 out of 5

This album made me realize I’m not as big of a Muppets fan as I thought.  I’m a fan of The Muppets Movie and its soundtrack – but not as much else.  And that made me sad.  Or should I say, blue.  Moving right along…

Honeymoon in Vegas Soundtrack

Rock N' Repeat

5 out of 5

I really liked this album, but then again, it was back when I had it on cassette.  It made me appreciate Elvis Presley a bit more than I did before, though, so there’s that hunk of burning knowledge for ya!

I Am Sam Soundtrack

I Am Sam I Am

4 out of 5

The same things goes with this collection of The Beatles remakes.  I wasn’t sure I liked much of what they did prior to hearing these retreads, but my perspective changed.  Why only four out five recycled Kermits, you wonder?  Have you seen I Am Sam?

Saturday Morning Cartoons Greatest Hits

Saturday Morning Reruns

2.5 out of 5

I maybe listened to this CD in its entirety thrice, but that was mostly because the CD player I had at the time wasn’t the best.  I really liked Sponge and Sublime back then, which is why I bought it.  Maybe I shouldn’t have given it two-and-a-half recycled Kermits…

The Duran Duran Tribute Album

The band's name is a repeat.

1 out of 5

I’m not even particularly fond of Duran Duran, so why did I purchase this?  Oh yeah.  Goldfinger, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, Gob…

JusWondering… Why Do I Hate These Commercials So?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Luckily, I have a DVR.  But sometimes, I catch commercials anyway.  These two drive me up the wall when I see them.  I’ll try to explain why in a minute:

Wanna know the simplest reason?  They’re not marketed to me.  Not in the slightest.

The Citi Thank You Premier credit card spot called Accessories plays up the angle that women usually buy things like belts, nylons, and shoes… except in this case, these “accessories” are climbing gear.  And the “rock” she wants isn’t in a ring – it’s in a canyon.  You might think the unconventional lady stuff is what annoys me, but it’s not.  It’s the rock climbing!  I don’t see the purpose!  She gets to the top, and then what?  You climb back down?  No Thank You, Citi.

As for the iPhone campaign, sometimes they hit.  This teen-targeted one is a miss.  To begin, I hate Siri.  She’s virtual and virtually useless.  To continue, when the kid says “I got to get a guitar,” Siri pulls up this screen:

First surprise - Siri worked?!

Where in the world are there twelve musical stores that close to you?!  Call this one rock bottom.

(SIDENOTE: Here’s a crazy Reese’s Pieces advertisement in the style of crazy Skittles commercials that erases the above two migraine-inducers…)