TripleDoubleU

JusWondering… Who’s That Girl (In The iPhone Commercial)?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Summer’s almost over, and I find myself in love once again.  Of course, it can’t happen in real-life.  That would be too complicated and real-life-ish.  (And against one of my biggest fears.)

You’ve most likely already met her, and in case you haven’t, here she is… with her new haircut (ignore the DB in the corner):

But who is she?  Nobody (on the TripleDoubleU) knows…

I’ve been in this situation before.

Long ago (like three whole years), there was the Overstock.com model, Sabine Ehrenfeld:

And most recently, there was Skinit.com model, Anya Monzikova (sorry about the poor video quality):

In time, the webs will know, and by then… I’ll have fallen in love with another.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Or Lack Of Creative Talent?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This show looks like garbage, me thinks.  It starts this fall on CBS, which in this case literally means C-B-S:

To me, The Defenders looks like Boston Legal Lite, minus the charm, creativity, excellent writing, and sublime casting.  I’ll always have a soft spot for Jerry O’Connell for being in Stand By Me, My Secret Identity, and Rebecca Romijn, and I’ll even give props to Jim Belushi for The Principal, but I could probably live without ever seeing either one of them in anything ever again.

May this show slip away quickly like my money at a craps table.

Now onto other items lacking in creativity…

I thought The Oatmeal made a funny observation about the similarities between James Cameron’s Avatar and his Aliens:

(click image for full comparison)

(BONUS! Did Chistopher Nolan’s Inception rip off Scrooge McDuck?)

Happy Find… My Name’s Meaning (Plus Hero Rats!)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Even though it’s been around, like forever, which according to itself means:

forever is until you find something better…

…I’ve only recently discovered what my name means via the Urban Dictionary.  Take a gander for yourself:

used to define huge sarcastic assholes, that end up becoming amazingly sweet. Seans know exactly how to piss you off and then five seconds later have you cracking up. Huge jerks, but gotta love 'em.

I can live with that.  And I need to find out who funwithamber is… Either she’s a fun girl named Amber, or a scientist from Jurassic Park.  So in other words, a win either way.

Also from the TripleDoubleU archives, I present to you a new Parry Gripp song.  I’ve written about him before, so for more of that, click here.  Otherwise, enjoy the heartwarming tale of the Hero Rats…

*sniff* The part about “saving us from ourselves” gets me every time.

Drunken Recollection… Why Men Do Anything (Plus Swamping!)

Posted on by sgottahurt

While camping last weekend, this happened:

Why is the song "Lump" suddenly stuck in my head?

That is my cousin Steve, whom most recently discovered this for me, or should I say us.  He put on his waders and decided to go swamping, which in other words means…

Hunting for frogs.

Passersby were confused at us boggy marsh gawkers, until they realized we were watching Steve mucking through the muck.  Every last one of them smiled.  Only one of them rubbed my shoulders.

In other Drunken Recollecting, while around the campfire, I proposed that there are only three reasons men do anything in this world (in no particular order):

Oh, and there is the unofficial fourth reason – survival.

So the question that remains – why did Steve go swamping?

I already told you it was to hunt for frogs!

A Hibbidy-Wah?! Toss-Up For Making Me Say “Hibbidy-Wah?!”

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve written about the Insane Clown Posse before (<—you must check this link out), and I hoped it’d be the last.

Nope.

Rapper (?) Violent J’s 5 year-old son, Violent JJ (of course), is now a rapper (?)… and apparently a wrestler, too.

(SIDENOTE: For more Violent J fun, check out Violent J is John Goodman.)

That was going to be my Hibbidy-Wah?! of the day, but then I saw this:

You're welcome.

(via Screen Junkies)

Awesome Battle… How Did These Slip Under My Radar?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m an adult.  I know this.  I try to remind myself of this fact every day.  I own a house.  I drink beer legally.  I have to use my arms and my legs to stand up from sitting.

So it’s fitting that at least one of the items in this Awesome Battle contains the word adult…

There is an incredible show on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim that no one but my friend, Chris, and I watch.

It’s entitled Delocated, and here’s a sample:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Sure, I should have set up the video, but I like to throw people in the deep end, let them get their feet wet and water in their lungs, you know.  Essentially, it’s a fake reality (?) show about a family in the witness protection program, and it’s so absurd I absolutely love it.  Season 2 premieres August 22, and I can’t believe I missed it during its initial run.

This second item… I’m not too proud about my excitement.

Apparently, some time between me leaving grade school and starting high school, these toys were out in stores:

Computer Warriors?!?  Fucking robots hiding inside soccer balls, flashlights, and Pepsi cans?!?  Mattel must have been trying to capitalize on the success of M.A.S.K. (my all-time favorite toy line) and Transformers, but just a tad too late or too early.  If these would have lasted on the market, or arrived on the scene two years later when I had my first job at a toy store, I would have had them all.

But I’m an adult.  I shouldn’t try winning some of them on eBay…

…but I will.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Orko And The Scooby-Doo Brood

Posted on by sgottahurt

A wise man once said:

Do as I say, and as I BOOM! – Michael Bay

Basically, what that translates into is if you’re lucky to find something that pleases the masses, give ’em more!

This Hollywood trick is also known as The Scooby-Doo Brood.  Almost as soon as the crime-solving canine entered the animated scene, he was a hit amongst his fans, so Hanna-Barbera thought, give ’em more!  And over the course of many, many years, Scooby was brought back and re-purposed in the forms of other family members.

He-Man and the Master of the Universe would later go on to do the same thing with kid-friendly favorite, Orko, and introduce his Trollan Scooby-Doo Brood.

Orko and Scooby-Doo

Orko is the original, just like Scooby-Doo.

Dree-Elle and Scooby-Dee

Dree-Elle is Orko’s love interest, while Scooby-Dee is… SD’s cousin?

Uncle Montork and Yabba-Doo

Well, Orko’s Uncle Montork is obviously his uncle; so Yabba-Doo is… SD’s brother?

Yuckers and Scrappy-Doo

Yuckers is Dree-Elle’s little brother, and Scrappy-Doo is SD’s nephew.  Hrm.

Snoob and Scooby-Dum

Snoob is a misguided Trollan wizard, and Scooby-Dum is just dumb.  I’m not seeing a pattern here at all…

Prankster (Wakrapanike) and Dooby-Doo

Prankster (his real name is Wakrapanike) is the only Trollan to reveal his face, and Dooby-Doo is a rare cousin of SD that has hair.  Aargh!  That’s not even close…

Doctor Zoog and Whoopsy-Doo

How about Doctor Zoog is an evil scientist, and Whoopsy-Doo is a clown…  Grrr!

Okay, well at least this counts:

The website Totally Looks Like states that Orko looks like the Black Mage from the Final Fantasy game series, but in all actuality, the Black Mage (created in 1987) looks like Orko (created in 1983)… BOOM!

And how’s this for a real-life Scrappy-Doo… DOUBLE BOOM!

(Trollan pics via Frank’s He-Man Page, everything else is from Google)

InASense, Lost… Rated PG Bosoms

Posted on by sgottahurt

I know that there are probably way more, but these were the only films that the perverts I work with* could think of that were rated PG and contained exposed, um… why beat around the bush – boobies.  They were favorites of a childhood past (not just the breasts, of course, but also the movies… because of the tatas).

Arguably, most of the following films are children films.  Can you imagine if they tried pulling this off in kiddie flicks today?

Also, I thought this video was an ample match:

Because I’m such a nice blogger, each movie title is a link to none other than Mr. Skin’s thorough website:

Sheena: Queen of the Jungle

The Beastmaster

Sixteen Candles

Irreconcilable Differences

Clash of the Titans

Swamp Thing

Racing with the Moon

Airplane!

Logan’s Run

The Omega Man

*All right, I’ll admit it… I remembered all of them except for three.

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Newest Social Networking Tool

Posted on by sgottahurt

"matrixicon"

It was going to be all the rage – at least in my dream.

Introducing DOTTER™ – the newest social networking tool.

Much like Facebook status updates, Twitter feeds, and Friendster beeper pagings, DOTTER™ would keep those in the need to know in the know now.

It’s easy to use to… using advanced DOT MATRIX TECHNOLOGY, tell everyone your thoughts, feelings, and meal options in 140 PIXELS OR LESS.

Did I mention this dream took place in the 80’s?  Way back when there was no TripleDoubleU?

Well that never stopped these guys:

What Twits Used to Use to Twitter... circa 1935

(via Urlesque)

JusWondering… Is A Detroit Bucket List Ironic?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I wish I took a screen cap of an advertisement for something called The Detroit Bucket List, or that I at clicked on the link, because I’m having the hardest time finding out what it was (translation–> nothing on the first page of my Google search looked familiar.

One thing I found was a trailer for a locally produced “movie” with the same name:

It’s from two years ago, though (you can catch a glimpse of Tiger Stadium before it became a barren field).

Otherwise, I found this Facebook page and not much else.

But all in all, it got me JusWondering… is a Detroit Bucket List in any way ironic (because both imply impending doom)?  Is it an oxymoron?  Or just plain ol’ moronic?

Well, anyyallzboy… about this time last year, I started a bucket list with the promise to continue it.  This is me continuing it – Detroit style!

  • I want to produce a documentary about Detroit in its heyday (what a fun word, BTW). I would love to see footage of Detroit’s early American origins, through its prosperous periods, to its eventual downfall.  Maybe Ken Burns could put together this opus.  Why won’t I do it?  I’m too lazy.
  • I want to produce a show about a cop from another (better funded) city trying to get things done in the Detroit Police Department. Imagine a detective from New York, Chicago, or Miami battling not only the crime, but the system… I think it could be intriguing.
  • I want to shake up the system. Namely, I could see myself running for mayor.  I’ve lived in Detroit for 98.8% of my life, and I deserve the opportunity as much as any of the other clowns that have “won” the position.  First order of business – shit-can the useless City Council and bump up the number of fire fighters and police.
  • I want to build a movie studio in Detroit. This was an early wish, long before Hollywood even came calling our neck of the woods.  I also envisioned setting up excellent filmmaking programs at Wayne State University (my alma mater), U of M Dearborn (only), and Hank High (a.k.a. Henry Ford Community College).  I have my reasons for these three.
  • I want to move out of Detroit. A man can dream, can’t he?