I’m no fashionista. (I even felt uncomfortable writing that word.) I don’t dress in the latest fashions (if Target or Kohl’s ever become haute couture, I’ll be set). I don’t even wear a suit to formal affairs (I have my standard white dress shirt, random tie, black pants, and until someone called me out on wearing a certain vest to their wedding – a certain vest).
So please do not judge me as I judge another. My sisters always said it’s 10% what you wear and 90% your attitude (I think they borrowed liberally from another saying), but there was this guy at the bar that made some choices, and then some additional choices on top of those, and… well, let me explain.
First off, he was in mid- to late-twenties, and he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt bearing what I call “a Tron pattern.”
(Not So) Artistic Representation
Which on its own, I guess, would be fine and dandy (I shall never write that phrase again). But he could have worn something akin to this, instead:
Boba Swett...shirt
And he would have pulled off the look a bit better. But he also could have actually gone to this extreme like this guy:
Does he Master Controller to Tron?
Yet I’m not done. The sweatshirt was a few sizes too small, as it tapered and adhered to his arms. A bad choice on its own, but forgivable if he opted NOT TO WEAR THE HOOD. It was snug on his noggin, and seemed to pull up the shirt underneath as well.
So what? you might be thinking. He can just put down the hood. My response: then why doesn’t he pull up the back of his pants! He had them purposely draped below his gray boxer briefed bum, as his leather belt held them firmly there. My friend, Jess, thought he might not know, but I knew he knew. It was another in a long line of bad choices.
The coup de grace for me was when my friend Devin was doing karaoke of Lil’ Wayne’s “A Milli” (which is a dumb song, btw, with some of the worst lyrics… check them out after the jump). This too-small-Tron-hoodie-wearing, non-boxer-pants-sagging doofus jumped up to sing with him, and he couldn’t keep up! He ruined it for Devin. Oh well. Like I said, who am I to judge… in my 90’s X-Men tee and skaterboi jeans with the cuffs rolled up.
(SIDE RANT: What’s the appeal of Lil’ Wayneanyway? Is he big merely for the fact he may have been the first to integrate electronica with rap? Why couldn’t he be a nice, clean cut guy like Chris Brown, and get cozy with a sweetheart like Rihanna?)
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