JusWondering

JusWondering… Do The Kids Even Know What A Record Scratch Is Anymore?

Posted on by sgottahurt

There’s a commercial that plays here in Detroit which uses the record scratch sound to express a shock.   I can’t recall the product or manufacturer to present an example, but for those of you born in the *gulp* 90’s, the sound occurs at the 0:52 mark in this excellent mash-up:

iTod Meet Coaster Spinner With Weird Arm Thingee?

iTod Meet Coaster Spinner With Weird Arm Thingee?

And I’m being serious here.  Why would any modern advertisement resort to such an out-dated cliche?  I’m sure the writers thought they were being funny (as I often do and fail miserably), but a record scratch?  A RECORD SCRATCH?

Here’s some other things I’ve been JusWondering about:

1) In the song, Only Wanna Be With You, does Hootie cry about the Miami Dolphins, or about “the dolphins” in general (since he’s friends with “the Blowfish,” you see)?

2) Is l33t speak still called that?  Because it seems kinda like that term’s jumped the shark?

3) Has the term jumped the shark nuked the fridge?

4) Is it just me, or shouldn’t She’s a Beauty totally be a song by Chicago or at least Peter Cetera, instead of The Tubes?  It should have been in Mannequin, too.  (Was it in that?)

Kim Cattrall's finest performance

Kim Cattrall’s stiffest performance

5) Much ballyhoo has been made about Conan O’Brien being a neophyte in L.A., but didn’t he live there when he wrote for The Simpsons?  (Boom!  Research!  He lived there when he wrote for HBO’s Not Necessarily the News… No specifics on his home whilst he was on his Homer bender, but I’m still pretty sure he was at least in Hollywood.  Turn that ballyhoo into boo!)

JusWondering… Does Beer Make Me Smarter?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Sure… during my month of not boozing, I might have woke up each morning with an extra bounce in my step, but at work, more mistakes were made and more things were forgotten.  Yeah, it’s possible I slept better or longer (courtesy of passing out) during the many sauced months that came before, or that the heaped upon hours I spent in front of the boob tube boobed out my noggin and rendered my work performance lackluster.

So I started to wonder… maybe I’m smarter under the influence.  I do play a lot of trivia at the bar, and maybe that’s like running with ankle-weights for my brain.  Research ensued and I discovered this headline:

Whuuuuhhh?!

Whuuuuhhh?!

Dost thine eyes deceive, um, me?

From the BBC article:

Mice fed moderate quantities of alcohol grew extra brain cells, but also showed a preference for alcohol over water.

Lead researcher Professor Stefan Brene said: “We believe that the increased production of new nerve cells during moderate alcohol consumption can be important for the development of alcohol addiction and other long-term effects of alcohol on the brain.”

Okay, maybe it doesn’t sound perfectly fantastic – or does it?  

Alternatively, the extra cells might help with learning and memory, [Brene] said.  Another theory, according to the researchers, is that the tranquilising effect of alcohol triggers the growth.  All of the new cells developed normally.

My favorite line:

A spokeswoman from the Campaign for Real Ale said: “It is well known that alcohol in moderation is good for your body so it’s no surprise it’s also good for your mind.  “Maybe that is why lots of pub quiz teams are so bright.”

Some other favorite lines… from The Legend of Bagger Vance:

Rannulph Junnah: Now, the question on the table is how drunk is drunk enough? And the answer is that it’s all a matter of brain cells
Hardy Greaves: Brain cells?
Rannulph Junnah: That’s right Hardy. You see every drink of liquor you take kills a thousand brain cells. Now that doesn’t much matter ‘cos we got billions more. And first the sadness cells die so you smile real big. And then the quiet cells go so you just say everything real loud for no reason at all. That’s ok, that’s ok because the stupid cells go next, so everything you say is real smart. And finally, come the memory cells. These are tough sons of bitches to kill.

And then there’s always Cliff Clavin’s take:

Well you see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

JusWondering… Do We Need 9, Nine, And District 9 When We Already Had The Nines?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m well aware that there’s been much ballyhoo about the fact that we’ll see a few movies this year that all have to deal with the Roman Numeral IX.  There’s three – count ’em, three – similarly named, though completely different, films:

And for the record, we already had a Ryan Reynolds flick (as if he’s a genre) two years ago that was called The Nines. 

What is it about understated titles that these filmmakers and producers find so appealing?  Does it save on toner?  Why couldn’t they have used different numbers, or even letters for that matter?  There are a lot of numbers and letters ripe for the plucking.

In the spirit of beating a dead horse, why don’t we take a look at a gallery of movie posters that kept the titles simple for the hearts and minds and marquee changers of America:

(IN CASE YOU DIDN’T NOTICE: Steven Spielberg has directed three of the above.)

JusWondering… Wait-And-See Sequels Worth The Wait To See?

Posted on by sgottahurt

A bit ago, IMDb ran this poll:

imdbpoll

Grant it the survey was held with tongue planted firmly at the back of the throat (I know they say ‘cheek’ normally, but it is ‘growing’ out of your throat like a plant… this was funnier and not as gross in my head).

Anyjohnhughes, as much as I would love to see Ferris Bueller’s Laid Off, it ain’t gonna happen.  As of now, not any one of those films have a chance – nay, a whisper – of development talk.

These on the other hand, these sequels have been chatted up dearly:

Why not?  We’ve already seen these guys ride a cheetah in the wrong direction, and spoke down with W.  And everybody knows National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation was the best of Chevy Chase’s screen family’s exploits.  Too bad they never made that Swiss Family Griswold that Chevy promised.  Oops… they kinda did.

  • Ghostbusters 3 (maybe to start filming this Christmas) – I am afraid of part 2:

This movie is the childhood dream behind a fourth Indiana Jones movie.  Keep fucking Lucas and Spielberg away (should be easy since they had nothing to do with the first two), and let Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky’s script have room to glow.  The duo writes for The Office; The Office can be is funny.  Thank Gozer that Atari (wait… really, Atari?) got the Ecto-1 rolling on making a new video game based on the franchise.  That probably helped accelerate enthusiasm, and something something clever about waking ghosts.

Is Oliver Stone relevant?  The antithesis to the ‘Greed is good’ mantra from the first film certainly is alive and unwell.  And Michael Douglas isn’t doing anything except Catherine Zeta-Jones.  Greed certainly is good for the studios, but this long-not-so-awaited sequel is a little more The Two Jakes, than The Color of Money (neither is much of a compliment).  Wait… Shia LaBeouf is in it?  Are you sure he’s not too busy?

I remember wanting to skip a summer baseball game to see the original.  Would I want to skip a soccer game as an adult to see the sequel?  No.  But I would go see a midnight sneak preview afterwards.  Director Robert Zemeckis – reigning king of creepy CGI work in The Polar Express, Beowulf, and the upcoming A Christmas Carol (third holiday shout out on this post) – wants to include… creepy CGI.  Could be an interesting mash-up of styles, and could make for a neat-o picture.

Some rumored projects that will most likely never see the light of the darkened theater.  Never say never…

JusWondering… How Do You Make An Old Meme New? Just Add A Little Keyboard Cat

Posted on by sgottahurt

Although YouTube feels like it’s been around forever/4eva , it’s really only been here for just over four/4 years.  But what it’s wrought – flash-in-the-pan celebrities, viral videos, copyright battles – will be here for awhile.

Since I’m pretty much in constant contact with the TripleDoubleU, I’ve seen my share of crap and my share of gold.  It’s sometimes funny to see how long it takes a family member to bring up something I caught months ago. 

So imagine my pleasant surprise at this spoonful of sugar that helps the viral videos go down that much sweeter.

Play me off, keyboard cat!  (For some reason my faves all have to do with kids and dogs… go figure…)




For more go to these YouTube channels: BrotatoChip or theKeyboardCat, or simply PlayHimOffKeyboardCat’s site.

(Big thanks to Chris for finding this one!)

JusWondering… Can You Get Drunk Off Milk?

Posted on by sgottahurt

For the month of May I’ve decided to cut out some of the things that have made my life worth living… Taco Bell, Mt. Dew, beer, um, Taco Bell, Mt. Dew, and beer, yeah…

So far, four days in, I’ve managed to keep up with the plan and maintain the social habits in which my usuals are consumed.

  • Friday – MGM Casino and Detroit Tigers’ game (drunk kids behind us would have been more fun had I also been smashed)
  • Saturday – My brother’s play (totally would have drank afterwards normally, but it was actually really entertaining)
  • Sunday – My friend’s softball game (I’m the scorekeeper, usually armed with a pen in one hand and a beer in the other) 
  • Today – 80’s Night at Comerica Park (booze fest, natch)

Yet alas, here I am, prodding through with my plan, having nightmares about caving in and drinking Mt. Dew (seriously), getting tempted like crazy.

But something strange has been occurring the last few nights.  As I sit down on my couch to prepare for a late night, pre-bedtime viewing of TV shows on DVD (just finished the hilarious It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia… Burn Notice is next), I’ve been partaking of a glass or two of low fat organic milk.  And after drinking that second glass, I’ve been feeling a wee bit tipsy.

So I decided to investigate if this was a phenomenon, or merely something in my head.  I remember in the short-lived comic book, X-Nation 2099, the mutants would get drunk off of milk.  So why can’t I?

There are many cases of infantile beriberi (kakke) in Japan. In most instances the mother of the afflicted infant has beriberi. However, sometimes the mother is healthy (concealed beriberi). Ito observed such a case in which the mother did not have beriberi and called the condition “mother’s milk intoxication.” But he afterward changed this name to “breast milk intoxication” because he saw cases in babies who were nourished with the milk of wet-nurses.

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is very provocative in its media campaign about milk, but it is correct in its message. Beer is indeed better than milk for health, as are both wine and distilled spirits.

  • Doing too many shots of milk produces the same result as too many shots of liquor:
  • Bill Murray drinks a glass of warm milk before he goes to bed.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

more about “Bill Murray in FCU: Fact Checkers Uni…“, posted with vodpod

JusWondering… Which Celeb Site Is The Worst?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I like blogging. 
I like reading other people’s blogs. 
Most of the blogs I read are about celebrities.
Therefore, celebrities do not need to have blogs.

But oh they do.  I was searching around for some bad ones, and though I’m sure there are more, these were some of the highlights of what I found.  Let me know what you think.

Goop by Gwyneth Paltrow

goop1

On the surface, it may seem understated, but inside, it’s pretentious goop all over the place.  Like this dress up Gwyneth section, or talk about her travels with her dad, Bruce, that seem kinda creepy.

Kim Kardashian

kimkar

From one of the fakest women in the world comes one of the fakest blehgs in the world.  Wanna see Kim look like she’s been visited by Madame Tussauds?  Or if she was a Real Doll?  Then her site’s full of pics like this:

kimkarwax

Melanie Griffith

melgrifmagicdoor

My vote for the winner is Melanie Griffith’s site.  Not only does it seem abandoned, but it also includes the Magic Door, as seen above.

For the full experience, turn up your speakers and click here.

JusWondering… Am I Getting Mind Powers?

Posted on by sgottahurt

When I was a kid, I believed carrots improved your eyesight, gum stuck to your ribs (if you swallowed it), and fish made you smart.

Remember the food chain, dude!

Remember the food chain, dude!

I hated carrots, so my eyesight was never too hot.  (Sleeping in contact lenses for months at a time probably didn’t help.)

It took me until high school to realize that the chest pains I felt while growing up had nothing to do with the gum I swallowed in my youth.  (Hubba Bubba goes nowhere near your ribs!)

And even though I liked my fish sticks as a kid, the idea became less attractive in my teens and further into adulthood.  (Seafood stinks!)

"Fish heads, fish heads, eat 'em up, yum!"

"Fish heads, fish heads, eat 'em up, yum!"

So imagine my disappointment when I found out how good Omega-3 fish oils were for you, and my joy upon discovering they came in pill form!

The problem that remained was I kept forgetting to seek them out for purchase.  Well forget them no more!  I finally picked up a bottle, and I already believe I’m beginning to see results.

The biggest difference I’ve noticed is that I’m becoming psychic.  I would regale you with all the details, but they seem to have escaped me for now.

Stay tuned as I report any further advancements of my mind!

JusWondering… What Do Hackman, Rudd, The Gute, And The Mac Guy Have In Common?

Posted on by sgottahurt

In response to the post title’s inquiry:  they’re all… Actors!

Here’s a couple things I’ve been JusWondering about each.

1) Gene Hackman

"Men at Work 2: Trash Tweens"

"Men at Work 2: Trash Tweens"

Whatever happened to Gene “Hack Man” Hackman?  Why hasn’t he been acting lately?  The last film he appeared in was Welcome to Mooseport, and heaven forbid something happens to him, but does an actor of his caliber really want his swan song to be a co-starring vehicle with the guy that played a CGI mammoth?  Personally, I think he’s better than most of the Actors! of his generation… mostly because he was Lex Luthor and Popeye Doyle.  And of course, Royal Tenenbaum.

2) Paul Rudd/Steve Guttenberg

The Rudd meets the Gute, and it was "Grute"

The Rudd meets the Gute, and it was "Grute"

Paul Rudd reminds my mother of Steve Guttenberg, for some reason.  Though I would have to admit that if they when they remake Police Academy, Rudd would make a great Mahoney. 

I also think he would make a great Krull, if that’s what the main character’s name was.  If Krull is the blue guy, the chick, or the kick-ass weapon, then no.  All I remember about Krull is that kick-ass weapon.

I should have Photoshopped Rudd into this, but I'm lazy.

I should have Photoshopped Rudd into this, but I'm lazy.

3) Justin Long

justin_long

He Longs for a major hit.

How about this guy and his scene stealing?  I don’t think he works as well as a lead (Accepted or Waiting…), or as well as an assistant lead (Live Free or Die Hard), but in bit parts… he shines.  Since I was initially amused by him in Galaxy Quest, he’s eaten the scenery (and his co-stars) in The Break Up, Idiocracy, Walk Hard, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno.  Will Ferrell started off the same way, in the background out loud, and now he slays in (most of) his films.  Maybe the same will happen Justin time so he won’t have to wait for too Long.

JusWondering… Apparently I Don’t Know Where Babies Come From

Posted on by sgottahurt

The after-effect of a drunken Snuggie Pub Crawl.

The after-effect of a drunken Snuggie Pub Crawl.

 (pic from MomLogic via Switched)

Snuggies have taken pop culture by storm, and in this case, a baby hostage. 

I know thought I’ve written about them before, and I know thought I’ve posted this video before (it’s a shame when you can’t even find shit on your site), but here we go again for the first time(?):

But how does one even go about putting on a Baby Snuggie?  It has to be one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen AND one of the worst ideas on top of that!  Think about it.  Babies make stinkies a lot… and unless you’re a fan of Dutch ovens (no, not that link – this one), do you really want to wear a sweater that captures that scent?  And uh, if you have a baby attached to your hipchest, how are you going to challenge those Muay Thai fighters and save the rec center?

Now I’m not knocking Snuggies on all accounts.  There are pub crawls held for good causes that require participants be cloaked in the backwards robes.  I may even participate in one…  Who’s thinkin’ drink specials?

I’m just wondering what the next comfort craze will be.  Perhaps this?

Is the shield a pillow?

Is the shield a pillow?

(These pajamas are real)