JusWondering… Maybe Lens Flares Aren’t A J.J. Abrams Thing?

J.J. Abrams, scriber of Regarding Henry and creative genius behind television’s Facetious Felicity, found himself in the precarious position of relaunching the Star Trek film franchise.

In the process of doing so, he got a little carried away with lens flares.  That’s when light spreads from its source… here’s a collection of shots from the film:

The future’s so bright, I gotta wear BluBlockers.

So yeah, I thought it was a J.J. Abrams thing, but it might be Actor! Chris Pine’s thing:

Here he is in Star Trek

…and here he is on the DVD cover for This Means War.

Any questions?

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JusWondering… How Did This Ever Happen? (AKA Creepy Is An Understatement)

I’ve written about this song before in this post (please read… it’s one of the better ones where I actually tried*), but I’ve never seen the real video until now.

Until.

Now.

Un.

Til.

No… please don’t…

*This post is an example of one when I didn’t try.

JusWondering… What Other President Should Get Rebooted?

This post is a sort of double-whammy JusWondering.  The first part is a legitimate whimsical question; the follow-up is philosophical.  Hopefully both are fun.

The first real question that smolders in my, um, title line is

What other president should get rebooted?

Hollywood loves its reboots, re-imaginings, and remakes, and these upcoming films are proof.

You’ve probably heard about this first one by now – Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  Here’s the preview:

But did you also know that FDR: American Badass! exists (or at least will very soon)?

If Hollywood followed these templates, I’d say George Washington or JFK are ripe for action-packed movies:

I’d venture to guess in another twenty years, Ronald Reagan will get rebooted, too.

Now onto my second JusWondering… does anyone else feel slightly offended by Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and FDR: American Badass!?  Because weirdly, I do.  And what’s stranger, I was born and raised Roman Catholic and these doesn’t bother me one bit:

JusWondering… Why Do I Hate These Commercials So?

Luckily, I have a DVR.  But sometimes, I catch commercials anyway.  These two drive me up the wall when I see them.  I’ll try to explain why in a minute:

Wanna know the simplest reason?  They’re not marketed to me.  Not in the slightest.

The Citi Thank You Premier credit card spot called Accessories plays up the angle that women usually buy things like belts, nylons, and shoes… except in this case, these “accessories” are climbing gear.  And the “rock” she wants isn’t in a ring – it’s in a canyon.  You might think the unconventional lady stuff is what annoys me, but it’s not.  It’s the rock climbing!  I don’t see the purpose!  She gets to the top, and then what?  You climb back down?  No Thank YouCiti.

As for the iPhone campaign, sometimes they hit.  This teen-targeted one is a miss.  To begin, I hate Siri.  She’s virtual and virtually useless.  To continue, when the kid says “I got to get a guitar,” Siri pulls up this screen:

First surprise - Siri worked?!

Where in the world are there twelve musical stores that close to you?!  Call this one rock bottom.

(SIDENOTE: Here’s a crazy Reese’s Pieces advertisement in the style of crazy Skittles commercials that erases the above two migraine-inducers…)

JusWondering… Might I Drive To Ohio For This?

I’ve dreamed of this day.  I mean it, I’ve literally dreamed of this day.  And did I call when it would roll out or what?  I’m going all caps (and bold and underline and centered) for this.

TACO BELL 

WILL BE SERVING BREAKFAST

IN 800 LOCATIONS!

Does that come in a Big Box or as a Meal Deal, please?

I can’t believe the day is just about here…

The only problem I see is that it’s not happening here… in Michigan.

I can’t say that I won’t be driving to Toledo as soon as I find out if they’re already serving it there.

I’ve already contemplated driving back to Kentucky for some chili cheese burritos…

Welcome to First Meal

JusWondering… What Does 37 Mean To Me?

So like I JusWondered above:

What does 37 mean to me?

Perhaps an old Michelle Pfeiffer film?

It also starred Peter Gallagher.

Perhaps mutant Detroit Tigers’ pitcher Max Scherzer?

He's a better pitcher than a belly itcher.

Perhaps a rather blue scene from the black-and-white film Clerks?

Oh, wait.  I remember.  That’s how old I am now.

This is about right.

JusWondering… How Should We End This Movie? With A Dance!

I just finished watching Gnomeo & Juliet (it’s a new release on Netflix streaming and I was just testing out my new Blu-Ray player and I picked this and I ended up sticking to it no excuses… it was highly entertaining and pun-derful), but something about the ending bothered me.

It ended with a stupid dance scene.

I don’t know where the idea for this cop out ending began, but the last time I noticed it was during the end of Despicable Me (I watched this one on a long flight to Prague no excuses).  This was the first dance scene that really bothered me because it seemed to be an answer to the question posted above – how should we end this movie?

(SIDENOTE: This is how…)

When the live action version of Alice in Wonderland came out, there was a lot of brouhaha over this ending (amongst other things).  For the record, I’ve not yet never seen this movie:

So did this start the trend?  Let’s see if there were any others before these (I will not count dancing during the credits):

  • Shrek 
  • Robots
  • Shrek 2
  • Megamind
  • Rio
But hey!  Those are all Dreamworks films!  That’s like picking on them for their Dreamworks faces!

Okay, well to be fair, here are some live-action, non-musical, non-credit dance number endings:

  • Beetlejuice
  • The 40-Year-Old Virgin
  • Hitch

Even though this walk down memory lane hasn’t really produced an answer, I have a theory.  Beetlejuice is the oldest one on here, and the scene fits in with the rest of the movie’s universe, so I could probably discount it for the film I truly lay the blame on… There’s Something About Mary and the infectious (in every sense of the word), Build Me Up Buttercup:

(SIDENOTE: I’ve always found this Farrelly Brothers’ flick to be overrated.  Also, I had never heard The Foundations ode to Legos-shaped flowers (build… buttercup ha!) before, and people picked on me for that.  Plus, I worked at Circuit Shitty at the time of DIVX, and it was claimed at the time that TSAM was partly to blame for its demise.  Apparently, 20th Century Fox released it on DIVX earlier than DVD, and DVD owners were pissed you had to have a “special format” to watch the movie a week or two earlier, and wrote angry letters to Fox.  Not that I was on the DIVX gravy train or anything, but there’s something to TSAM’s ruining everything!)

*end rant*

(help from here)