InASense Lost

InASense, Lost… Rated PG Bosoms

Posted on by sgottahurt

I know that there are probably way more, but these were the only films that the perverts I work with* could think of that were rated PG and contained exposed, um… why beat around the bush – boobies.  They were favorites of a childhood past (not just the breasts, of course, but also the movies… because of the tatas).

Arguably, most of the following films are children films.  Can you imagine if they tried pulling this off in kiddie flicks today?

Also, I thought this video was an ample match:

Because I’m such a nice blogger, each movie title is a link to none other than Mr. Skin’s thorough website:

Sheena: Queen of the Jungle

The Beastmaster

Sixteen Candles

Irreconcilable Differences

Clash of the Titans

Swamp Thing

Racing with the Moon

Airplane!

Logan’s Run

The Omega Man

*All right, I’ll admit it… I remembered all of them except for three.

InASense, Lost… Drawing Ain’t Child’s Play

Posted on by sgottahurt

If Mrs. Voorhees* had the wherewithal to give her reborn son, Jason, a box of crayons than a barn full of tools, the art he would have produced might have looked something like these:

(Very) Artistic Representation

(Very) Artistic Representation

(Very) Artistic Representation

(Very) Artistic Representation

(Very Scary) Artistic Representation

In all actuality, this is work of Dave Devries, creator of The Monster Engine.  If you can’t figure out what he does by looking at the above images (because they’re too frightening), he takes the doodles of children and enhances them.

Click on the above page link to check more out.  Oh.  He has a book, too.

* I originally started the post with a reference to Chucky since the headline mentioned Child’s Play, but Friday the 13th was a more logical choice.  For a pointless article.  From a dumb blog.

BONUS!  This one’s just plain cool…

Does anyone else hear this one screaming, "Movie!" (As opposed to regular screaming...)

BONUS BONUS!  Check out my (Not So) Artistic Representations here.

BONUS BONUS BONUS! A hilarious TripleDoubleU classic is here.

InASense, Lost… The Toy That Got Away

Posted on by sgottahurt

This post is inspired by two items:

  1. This Geek Dad article from Wired about classic toys and their modern equivalents (fear not – it’s geeky)
  2. This scene from Hot Tub Time Machine

Waxing nostalgic is always a risky endeavor, but sometimes, it’s worth the heartache.  Case in point – here’s the one that got away, my great white buffalo… my childhood dream of becoming a director, molded in flimsy plastic and recorded on audio cassettes’ magnetic tape…

Fisher Price’s PXL 2000

It’s quite honestly the only Christmas wish list item that I can recall the pining over, like a forgotten summer crush.

There’s one CD cover I can think of that captures that similar sense of adolescent longing, now long lost.

Like a Polaroid from my mind...

Otherwise there’s this video of Whitney, filmed in Pixelvision, courtesy of the PXL 2000:

Man, I feel bummed out… save me President Taft (for no particular reason)!

InASense, Lost… Superpowers We Lost – And The Ones We Gain

Posted on by sgottahurt

Diaper Man is one of the scariest thinks to look for on Google Image Search.

Let me begin by saying this: Cracked Magazine might have always been #2 to Mad Magazine when I was still watching Mighty Heroes and Deputy Dawg on Channel 20, but these days, Cracked.com has some of the best comedy lists around.

Having said that, a recent list they presented covered 5 Superpowers We All Had as Babies (According to Science), and it at first made me sad.  Look at what we (InASense) lost:

  1. Mega Mind
  2. Mutant Metabolism
  3. Hyper Hearing
  4. Extreme Eyesight
  5. Tiny Telepathy

If babies didn’t creep you out already, next time you see one, remind yourself that the little bald-headed mini-human is not too different from an infantile Professor X (kinda mixed with X-Force’s Warpath).

Then I got to thinking… what powers do we get when we get older?  Let’s begin the countdown.

5. Enhanced Mobility

Never frowned upon.

We all aspire to be lazy.  And I’m not calling old people who use mobile assistance lazy.  I’m merely stating that no one gives old people dirty looks for being lazy if they’re riding in a Little Rascal.  Because they’re old.

4. Living in the Past

Back in his day, laptops were where kids bent over to get the belt.

Change is a-comin’, and there ain’t no rest for the wicked.  Of course, I’m mixing my Metamucils, but my point is this: the future sucks.  Now kind of sucks.  The best way to escape all of that – remember the good ol’ days.  And talk about them constantly.

3. Mind Control

"Oh if I could only have some crumpets to go with my tea. Oh, you can get me some crumpets too? Bless you."

Sure, it might be out of guilt.  It might even be out pity.  But the elderly have a way of getting young people to do their bidding.  And the young person might even get a few dollars for their trouble, but the young person will probably give it back.  Mind control!

2. You Get to Say Whatever You Want

Game. Set. Match.

Loose lips used to sink ships.  Now loose lips are expected.  Be inappropriate.  Flirt.  Be rude.  Be sexist.  Hell, be racist.  You’re old.  All is forgiven.

1. Unlimited Drug Access

"Grams" could have more than one meaning.

Everybody thought it was funny when Grandma said she wanted to get a license for medicinal marijuana.  Now everybody’s jealous.

InASense, Lost… Everybody’s Seen The Smoking Baby, So Here’s Other Stuff (And The Smoking Baby)

Posted on by sgottahurt

The smoking baby from Indonesia may not be the first of his kind, but he’s definitely getting David After Dentist level of media attention.

In case you have (somehow) missed it, the video (via Break) is… moved to after the jump due to auto-starting issues.

(SIDENOTE: I would have went with a YouTube video, but you can’t trust any of those to stay.  So now I’ll imagine you skipped ahead to the bottom of the page, or clicked on the above link, and I’ll be moving on.)

If you think that’s scary, then you haven’t seen this (via Cooley!):

From "Inappropriate Golden Books: Movies R Fun!"

Hmm, not working, eh?  Perchance a toy of Bat Boy might throw you for a loop (via Comics Alliance)?

I wasn't aware he wore cut-off jean shorts.

One more thing and I give up.  How about another misappropriation of a teddy bear? This time, it’s in robot form from Fujitsu (via Crunch Gear):

Hrm… That’s all I got.

Smoking baby after the jump! Read More

InASense, Lost… Stuffed Animals Takes On A Whole Different Meaning

Posted on by sgottahurt

When does too much too much?

When does going too far become too far gone?

When does Mountain Dew become Mountain Done?

For uncensored, NSFW answers, click on this image.

(thanks to Urlesque and limited thanks to Etsy)

InASense, Lost… Nostalgia For VD PSA’s

Posted on by sgottahurt

Can you be nostalgic for venereal disease commercials?

Yes, you can be nostalgic for venereal disease commercials.

Comments Round 1

  • I enjoy the euphemism “Love… can happen overnight.”
  • Moustaches like those should be called manstaches.
  • Was that basket player only wearing a t-shirt?
  • They sure don’t make sunglasses like that anymore.  They make them like this.
  • “#1 communicable disease”?  How many communicable diseases are there?  (Oh.)
  • No one in that commercial looked to be under the age of 25.

VD is for everyone, eh?  Let’s run with that…

Comments Round 2

  • Victorian Era Girl has VD?
  • Violinist has VD?
  • Madame Librarian has VD?  (The one in the PSA is not to be confused with Madame Librarian…)
  • Too-Young-To-Be-Wearing-Makeup Girl has VD?
  • Pregnant Mom has VD?
  • Pervert Grocer has VD.  I’m not surprised.
  • What’s with all the ballerinas having VD?
  • Teacher gots VD?
  • Botanist has VD and plantar warts?
  • Creepy Uncle and Nephew has VD? (I opted for this over Father and Son of the Beach.)
  • Old Man Grabby Hands definitely has VD.
  • That baby does seem slutty…
  • Everyone knows joggers are syphilis farms.
  • That lady really loves her horse.
  • What the hell is that burn victim doing to that poor girl?

InASense, Lost… Disney Animators Were Cel Outs

Posted on by sgottahurt

How much is homage and how much is tracing?

It reminds me of this exchange from Chasing Amy:

InASense, Lost… Burger King Kills, But Not Like You Think

Posted on by sgottahurt

Okay, this one I get:

"I told you already... they don't have Happy Meals here."

And this one is clever (even though the glove is on the – NERD ALERT! – wrong hand):

"Did you want fried face with that?"

This one took a second glance to figure out he had mustard on his gown.  Smock.  Robe?  I think I like “smock”…

Burger King really does put a lot of mustard on their burgers.

But something about this ad bothers me:

Haha, ha-- I don't get it.

The other ‘verts border on – dare I say it – cutesiness, whereas this one actually contains a deceased body in it.  And not just any body, but a cheerleader.  And not just a cheerleader, but a young lady in a strangely selected position.

It’s simply… tasteless overkill.  And not in this (have it your) way:

More than a mouthful is truly a waist... grower...

(The campaign is a foreign one.  Wonder if that has anything to do with it…)

InASense, Lost… Child Preachers

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve stated before how awesome it is that you can teach babies to read.  I might not have stated it on this site, seeing as how I can’t find any post that covered it, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

But… I’m… beginning to have second thoughts about that…

…teaching kids, that is.  Anything.  Because then they grow up and become this:

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