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How Big Furry Bad Ass Does This Look?

Posted on March 25, 2009 by sgottahurt

Finally! A full preview for Spike Jonze’s Where the Wild Things Are (sorry, Maurice Sendak!)

There were a lot of concerns popping up all over the TripleDoubleU regarding the making of this film, but it looks like those concerns were not warranted. Plus, I’m glad they decided to show the Wild Things so clearly in the trailer, and not pull a Godzilla (but in this case, maybe a Gremlins would have been nice).

I mean, look at all the worrying done over the film adaptation of Watchmen, and see how well everything turned out.

Vodpod videos no longer available. Did you know that the music was done by Where the Wild Things Arcade Fire?

more about “UPDATE: First ‘Where the Wild Things …“, posted with vodpod

Next, someone should adapt this Google guy’s book into a flick:

Happy birthday very hungry guy!

(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… A Listing Of Lists

Posted on March 24, 2009 by sgottahurt

While Paul’s out of the office and off dreaming up new lists on vacation, I thought I would play catch up. We’ve been too busy at work (and I’m not posting my boss’ lists while I’m playing at home), so since I have a slight chance to breathe today, here we go:

Top 5 Professional Sports Moments [Ed. – Local anyway, and without further explanation]

1.) 1997 Red Wings Stanley Cup Champs

2.) 1997 Michigan Football NCAA Champs

3.) 1989 Michigan Basketball NCAA Champs

4.) 1984 Detroit Tigers World Series Champs

5.) 2008 Detroit Lions fire Matt Millen

[Ed. – Oh yeah. Guess where Paul went to college…]

Top Five 80’s Cartoon Theme Songs [Ed. – With explanations and video!]

1.) G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero – “He’ll fight for freedom wherever there’s trouble…” (This should replace the Star Spangled Banner.)

2.) Transformers – “More than meets the eye…” (Song seemed to be ahead of it’s time.)

3.) The Wuzzles – “Two types of fun, wrapped up and rolled… into one!” (What could be better?)

4.) M.A.S.K. – “Masked crusaders, working overtime, fighting crime.” (Song passes the time test.) [Ed. – I had to twist his arm to get this included – it’s my favorite.]

5.) Silverhawks – “Partly metal, partly real.” (Very underated show. Plus, it has a sweet guitar solo.)

Top Five Stores That No Longer Exist (Now in Reverse Order) [Ed. – My favorite list so far.]

5.) The Old Ballpark – Every baseball card collector’s favorite store located in Livonia. If you wanted mint rookie cards of Alan Trammell or Lou Whitaker, this place had ’em.

4.) Great Scott, A&P, Farmer Jack (all lumped in together) – I do have the fondest memories of Great Scott, as it was our old school place to buy groceries. [Ed. – “Old school,” as in O.G. boyee!]

3.) Highland Appliance – “50 watts per channel babycake!” Oh, the memories of buying our first 27″ color tv and our first camcorder, which was VHS-C.

2.) Babbage’s (honorable mention goes to Egghead Software) – I remember browsing the shelves of hundreds of games for my 286 PC at Fairlane Mall.

1.) Children’s Palace – Heaven on Earth to all of us kids who grew up in the 80’s. Enough said. [Ed. – Also, my first job.]

My Life Is A Mess! (Now With Instructional Videos)

Posted on March 23, 2009 by sgottahurt

Considering my friend boss, Paul, is out of town, and he yelled at me for not posting another one of his lists before he left for vacation, I figured I’m not going to do much work this week. In fact, I’ve considered paying somebody mere dollars to do a big job just so I can sit at home and do, well, pretty much the same thing I plan to do at the office.

Considering the result of such actions might lead to me getting the boot, I really appreciate this video’s suggestions for helping me to find a new job:

Come to think of it, my love life of late has loved being late! Ha! Wait, that sounds like I got someone pregnant.

Anywhereintheworldiscarmensandiego, here’s another instructional video. This one is supposed to help me with the ladies:

If all else fails, I could learn how to play the slots from this guy:

(Thanks to Everything is Terrible my life is back on track!)

Drunken Recollection… More Or Less Than Jake

Posted on March 22, 2009 by sgottahurt

Let me begin with this: last night I saw Less Than Jake in concert at St. Andrew’s Hall in Detroit, and I. Had. A. Blast.

It was quite possibly one of the best concerts I’ve been to in a long time, and I’m pretty sure it can be attributed to going with my brother, Scott, and my cousin, Steve, the fact that I’ve been a fan of LTJ since their Losing Streak album came out in 1996, and lots and lots of draft beer.

I swore to try to remember as much of the highlights as possible. So here I go:

We started at the casino. Scott and Steve had been drinking prior to, and I was playing catch-up (I think Steve was playing mustard). Scott was recounting how at one concert he was hit in the head with a full water bottle and got knocked out for a bit. This will play out later.
Having only one phone between us, we decided we should make our way to the show so as not to miss LTJ. We got there in time to see the Flatliners (not the Julia Roberts/Kiefer Sutherland pic). We were glad not to miss any of the main act, but we wished we could have gambled more. Especially once I realized they had Star Wars penny slots. May the force be with the 30-line spin!
We laughed at a woman wearing Mom Jeans and her man that looked like Tom Cruise circa The Firm. Steve would end up befriending them and giving them high fives later, but still…
I thought of a pickup line. Then I thought it might work as a pickup line to ask if the pickup line would work as a pickup line. I was going to ask one girl but her man came back. So I turned to another girl who was way too crossed-eyed to be so snotty in my opinion, and I said, “I heard your brother’s the drummer in the band.” Her response, “If my brother was in the band, I’d be backstage, duh. But nice try on the pickup line.” Steve returned from the restroom or a beer run, and he heard the ending. He thought I asked about the line, but I informed him that I just used it as is.
A gaggle of older dudes (my age) started moshing at the back during the second opening act, which was the more more accessible band called the Expendables. One dude bumped me more than once which caused me to spill beer on Scott’s phone. I turned to face them and the dude’s friend apologized. What I said to appease him, I want to put on t-shirts:

: Like this, but better… not much better, though.

Also, the dude that made me spill my beer wanted to get punched in the face… he told me so. I said I would, but he had to punch me too, kinda like a Rocky/Apollo Creed freeze frame kind of thing. His friend told us to wait until after the concert. I agreed.
Once LTJ started, the mosh pit was incredible. Being one of the taller guys, I’m usually asked to lift people to body surf, but not as many people were willing to for some reason. At the end of the regular show, I decided to go. The bouncer that flipped me over told me I was too big to be doing this. I agreed.
When the encore was in full swing, some of the kids that helped me up before wanted me to do it again. I told them I was yelled at last time, which only spurned them on more. So I went up again, and the bouncer repeated the fact that I was too big to be doing this. If I did it again, I was going to get kicked out. I didn’t go back by those other kids again.
It was about this time that Steve was high-fiving Tom Cruise and Mom Jeans. Scott had been hit in the head, but by something other than a water bottle. This little kid appeared out of nowhere as the main floor cleared, and he was picking up who-knows-what off the floor. I saw the friends of the dude I was supposed to punch, but they lost him. They informed me that if I saw him, I should swing for his right eye, because his left eye was already bruised. I agreed.
Scott was going to sleep in the car while Steve and I would gamble more. We parted ways at the garage. As we were wandering around in the casino, we ran into Scott. He couldn’t find the car. It was amazing to stumble across each other because only Scott had a phone. Lucky!
I lost ten bucks in the Star Wars penny slots. I would have only lost five, but a woman asked me to watch her spot so she could run to the restroom. I only had thirty cents left, so I threw in another five. More or Less Than Jake, it was a good night.

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Rise Of Cobra (Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter)

Posted on March 21, 2009 by sgottahurt

In one of my dreams last night, I watched/participated in the new G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra movie.

It began rather inoccuously, meaning it didn’t seem at all like G.I. Joe. There was a compound and the team was being built. It was comprised of a bunch of your movie stereotypes (which I won’t go into because it doesn’t bode well for my subconscious). I remember a moment where a group of us were in a steel-decor room and cardboard boxes full of ammo rested on the center table. The captain or general or secretary (I don’t recall) said “Go!” and everyone lunged for the weapons like they were candy, stuffing grenades, guns, and dynamite in their pockets.

I wore a jacket comparable to this one (based on my real-life coat, also from American Eagle):

Mine had big inside pouches... maybe it's made from opossums (you thought I was going to say kangaroo... No? You didn't? My bad...)

I also think that the compound was somehow connected to a resort, like in the old episodes of Get Smart. The reason I bring this up is because at one point, after a member of my team falls through a concealed trap door, in searching for him, we fall through a similar hinged entrance.

We end up trapped with our fallen friend in a room on the resort side. The windows are shatter-proof and there are no doors. We can’t escape. Then through the windows, we see a couple that I apparently met earlier. They open the window from a latch outside, but they won’t let us out unless we can name who’s singing the song coming from their bedroom TV next door.

Right away, I know who it is: Shania Twain, and she’s doing a duet with Eurotrash superstar (?) Juraveggio Mugaiojdvkiaw… (I don’t know exactly – it was some weird dream name).

I just don't have enough dreams about her.

The couple let us out, and I ran to the TV because it was one of my favorite videos. This guy was singing the duet with Shania:

: Actor: Peter Stormare!

Anyyojoe… my team ends up getting shipped out to do battle with Cobra, and it’s at this point that I realize I watching/participating in the G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra movie and I’m pissed! It took this long to get to any battles?!

There was a car chase that lead to a field with way too many chain link fences. Bullets! Bombs! Explosions!

I was about to get captured/killed when I realized I had one of those hypersuits (whatever the fuck they’re wearing in this preview), and I started leaping and hopping about, between crater blasts and flimsy fences. Something trips me and I land at the feet of a guy dressed like this:

Like the costume on the left, but more in the direction of the one on the right... also, is she smiling at her own reflection?

As I struggle to get to my feet, he removes his mask, and lo! Who is it?

Juraveggio Mugaiojdvkiaw…

I walked out of the movie/woke up because I thought it was stupid.

INGREDIENTS: Working 13 hours (and until 1am), 2 Cheesy Double Beef Burritos, 1 24oz. bottle of none other than Mt. Dew

Happy Find… F— You, Penguin

Posted on March 20, 2009 by sgottahurt

If I was Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry, and I said to someone, “Go ahead… make my day,” and they pulled out their mobile phone with TripleDoubleU access (carefully) to show me this site, I’d let them go (y’know, because they made my day).

The site? Fuck You, Penguin. The reason why? See below.

Now I know it’s from another blogging community, and believe me, I’m not cheating on you my beloved WordPress. But I believe it is part of my duty to go out and explore, and return like Uncle Traveling Matt with news of my discoveries. It’s similar to how Detroit has better access to Canadian music, then shares it with the rest of the U.S. (As a Canadian may say, “Sore-y aboot Nickelback, eh?“)

SIDENOTE: On St. Patrick’s Day, the radio station Mix 96.7 was giving away an Elmo DVD to the first caller that could name the biggest movie star to ever come out of Ireland. Two people in row answered Mel Gibson. (There’s so many things wrong in just two sentences.)

But I digress… back to Fuck You, Penguin. (Not to be confused with my other Happy Find, Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling!)

Some samples:

In regard to this, the Baudet de Poitou Donkey, and there only being four hundred of them, FUP said:

"You better find a mate and start knocking boots, Donkey, so you can start sprouting up like American Apparels. I don't understand how you can be such prudes, seeing as you are French. What, are you saving yourself for the right donkey?"

Then there’s his tirade at a Porcupine in a tree:

: “Very clever, Porcupine. You want me to catch you, don’t you? You might have cute little teeth and a furry belly, but you’ve got giant quills all over your back, and if I come any closer, I’m going to be in a world of pain unmatched even by what your little porcupine paws are doing to me.”

I think the stuff is funny as shit poop. (Ever notice how most words double-o’s are funny for some reason? Poop, boobs, food… okay maybe just poop and boobs). You may not. And if you don’t, I’ll just call you a penguin.

JusWondering… Does The Dodge Charger Come With Any Gimmicks? No, Don’t Tell Me

Posted on March 19, 2009 by sgottahurt

I’m not sure if I’ve fallen victim to marketing, or if I’m getting the “new car bug,” but lately I can’t stop staring any time I see one of these:

Dodge Charger

It looks so mean and sporty – it’s so unlike the picks in my past. I just hope that I don’t find out about any special features in it. For example, I bought one of these because people threw a Frisbee through it’s open sides in a commercial:

Honda Element

Well, there was the Frisbee thing, but there also was the fact you could hose out the inside (which I never did), plus I could live in it if necessary because the seats folded into a bed. That last reason was probably the same reason why this car vehicle thing on four wheels caught my eye once upon a time:

Pontiac Aztec, with "tent" feature

Also, the Aztec had a normal power cord plug in the dashboard. What can I say? I’m easy.

I bought my current Honda Civic because the dashboard had blue lights. I must have been a moth in a past life…

Ooooh... shiny...

JusWondering… Is Josh Groban Cool?

Posted on March 18, 2009 by sgottahurt

This has been something creeping in the back of my mind for awhile now. I mean, if you have a voice like he does, you have to use it in the genre it works best (makes you shitloads of money earns you a living). But ever since his appearance in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m F’n Ben Affleck,” the case study has been building.

EXHIBIT A – “I’m F’n Ben Affleck”

This is a TripleDoubleU phenom and a played out meme, but as a refresher, check out the 7:40 mark:

EXHIBIT B – “2008 Emmy TV Theme Song Medley”

By no means or stretch of the imagination is any of this good. But the fact that he willingly participated in it speaks volumes (to me at least). I’d like to think he knew those theme songs by heart before this idea was ever a twinkle sty in anyone’s eye:

XZIBIT C – “You Don’t Know Me” by Ben Folds and Regina Spektor

Directed by the awesome Tim and Eric (of “Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show, Great Job!“), Josh Groban makes a guest appearance twice in Ben Folds‘ video, while for some reason, Regina Spektor does not. Check him out at the 2:46 and 3:07 marks:

In closing, you’ll have to judge whether Josh Groban is cool or not, but based on the above samples, I think he is cool.

If you want to judge my judging, I used to think this was cool:

It Only Happens Once A Year… I Hafta Post It!

Posted on March 17, 2009 by sgottahurt

If you’ve seen this before (which is likely), it never gets old. If you’ve never seen this before, watch it more than once!

Drunken Recollection… Drips Ahoy!

Posted on March 16, 2009 by sgottahurt

There has been a Drunken Recollection I’ve been meaning to get to for awhile, but the moment has passed and the recollection is fuzzier than it ever was. My notes on the matter:

Frois grois was typed as a note in my phone, which is actually foie gras… it was a conversation I had with my sister, Tammie, about how ducks and geese are force-fed to fatten up their livers. I never heard of it, but apparently it’s getting banned in various states courtesy of animal activists. I have no opinion or witty quip on the matter now – if I did then, consider it “pissed away.”
Another thing my sister brought up was an artist she knows that wrote the saying, “War leads to Poverty, Poverty leads to Peace, Peace leads to Greed, Greed leads to War.” Man, were we in a bummy mood that night.*
The only light highlight was a comment from my observant sibling. On Friday, I missed out on homemade macaroni and cheese at my old grade school because they ran out. On Sunday, I missed hanging out with an old friend downtown at a place that serves the best homemade macaroni and cheese. Tammie said, “This was your Mac and Cheese Denial weekend.”

Now onto the most current D.R. It occurred at a private boat club in Wyandotte, where the usual crew set out to play an exclusive game of trivia. There were cash prizes to be had – $50 for 1st, $30 for 2nd, and $10 for 3rd.

I arrived first, and its location reminded me of a scene in a movie where people that need to exchange a suitcase full of money, a nuclear warhead, or “whatever’s-in-the-trunk” would meet.

Inside, I had to knock on the port door to be let in. Then I had to sign a book. All the old regulars surrounded the bar, and all they served was beer in cans that had that faint odor of old ice. I ordered my can and sat my can at the table near the window overlooking Lake Erie.

The others arrived and we decided to split into two teams (the better to win more money – which we did, natch!) We quickly learned that the regulars weren’t too fond of us being there, and, oh yeah – there was a certain spot at the bar you had to order from. The bartender could look right at you standing anywhere else and he’d look through you.

We ended up drinking enough to build a beer can pyramid, a.k.a. a beeramid, which made the regulars mad. We each walked out with an extra five bucks each and our tab paid back. All-in-all, I will never return there again. Maybe.

In closing, I also learned that cenosillicaphobia meant “fear of an empty beer glass” and that I am cenosillicaphobic.

Not pictured: our beeramid. This is based on a true story.

*Okay, I was completely (well not completely) off on the quote. It’s from a folk song and her fiancé’s uncle wrote it down and framed it:

ALL IN A NUT SHELL

War begets poverty
Poverty peace
Peace begets wealth
Wealth beget pride
Pride is war’s ground
War begets poverty

So the world goes round

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