It’s been awhile since there’s been a good new Tumblr account. The latest Happy Find is
Some samples:
"There is another Jedeye..."
Eye don't know what Brad Pitt ever saw in Angelina Joleye.
"No, I'm not pregnant with Jedeyes," said Nataleye Portman.
Eye’m done. Eye promise…
I don’t know if it was because hunger lead to my grumpiness, or the P.O.S. computer I was working on was a P.O.S., but upon staring at this fucking calendar* I became furious at its moronic attempt at “humor.”
For your consideration – the month of April, courtesy of the Fucking Stupidest Calendar Ever:
This makes me want to commit murder.
For those of you unfamiliar with Murphy’s Law, it means:
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Ironically. this calendar follows that adage to a T. And that “T” equals “Terrible.”
TOTALLY FUCKING TERRIBLE!
Let’s break this master P.O.S. down. Someone took the time not only to write this advice:
Always go over the blueprints with the plumber before starting a building project.
They also compounded the comedy by drawing a nonsensical picture of a man getting hosed by NOT ONE BUT TWO extremely misplaced pipes that are jutting out of a busted up wall.
HE SHOULD BE FIXING THE BUSTED UP WALL!
AND THEN (!) throw in the stupid little dude in the corner, whom I presume to be the eponymous Murphy, stating:
I should have worn a wet suit.
WHO THE FUCK WEARS A WET SUIT WHEN DOING CONSTRUCTION!
It was a very strange feeling I had, staring at this work of garbage push-pinned to the wall. The level of upset I attained makes me consider psychiatric help.
If you’re interested in ordering this calendar, go here, but know that we can no longer be friends. If you do go there to check out the other months, you are a certifiable masochist. And you can leave me your email address in the comments.
Sigh. I’m going to go to the bathroom to get some fresh air.
*Enjoy how I used “P.O.S.” instead of “Piece of Shit” but I still said “fucking?” This is what that Murphy’s Law calendar has reduced me to…
I recently got rooked into Facebook by way of a Gmail link-up, and I have to be honest… it’s kind of dumb. As I look at everybody making statements and people commenting on them and liking them… it’s kind of dumb. I might be biting the hand that feeds, though, especially now since I’m on the CIA’s grid.
Via the awesome and layered Onion News Network:
I saw this film once before, long ago, and ever since, I’ve been trying to forget it.
I saw this video a while back, and it trudged up all kinds of awful memories, so I repressed it.
I’ve been in therapy for a bit now, and my doctor told me it was a good idea t o face down my demons and share. Enjoy the hurt:
These two videos have already been out there for a week, and when I initially saw them, I thought they’d be huge – which they are. But since then, I haven’t been able to get them out of my head. So I figured I’d share them with you in case you haven’t caught them yet.
I’ll start with the sad one. It’s a preview for the video game Dead Island, and it’s quite haunting:
This one is quite the opposite. It involves a… well, I’ll let you watch and enjoy:
We are getting a ton of Marvel Comics movies this year (okay, three). Here’s the preview for the latest:
Could be pretty cool, x-pecially since it’s directed by Kick-Ass’s kick-ass helmer, Matthew Vaughn. He was supposed to direct X-Men: The Last Stand, but the x-crutiating Brett Ratner took over.
Think of this film as his apology letter…
I was catching up on the new episode of Archer on FX when a preview for this show appeared:
Is is going to be great? Who cares! It’s different at the very least (albeit a remake of an Australian show).
And as for that rediscovery – remember the old Cybill Shepherd show, Cybill? Probably not because I barely did. Alicia Witt played Zoe on that show, and I forgot about her until she played Miss Pasternak on Two and a Half Men.
Alicia Witt... how could I ever forget you...
Sure, she’s been in plenty of things I haven’t seen since then (including the Two and a Half Men rerun from two and a half years ago), but I did find out that producer Chuck Lorre created both shows, so it’s nice that he’s still looking out for her.
If you’re unclear on the concept of what a hipster is, hopefully this infographic can be of assistance:
If it didn’t help, whatever man.
Anywhohasntshoweredallweekend, I should have heard of Pomplamoose before my boss/friend Paul did (mainly because he’s only recently “discovered” All-American Rejects, and he’s proud of that). As he perpetually asked me if I heard of Pomplamoose, I continually asked if it was a children’s group (he’s also a huge fan of The Wiggles).
So I looked them up, and I was shocked – SHOCKED! – that their videos have millions – MILLIONS! – of hits…
…and I never – NEVER! (really, again?) – heard of them.
Their YouTube channel is here… if you’re into hipster musicians, style circa 2004 or 2007, that is.
How effing cool is this?
"Kick back and relax..." "Roger, roger..."
(SIDENOTE: I am not sure why sometimes I feel it necessary to censor myself and type “effing” instead of the real word. Oh well, fuck it.)
This is just one doctored shot in the film series by Cedric Delsaux.
(SIDENOTE: I was going to specify that he was a French photographer, but it seemed self-explanetory. Ha! See-threepio what I did there?)
Basically, he took pictures around Dubai, and added in Star Wars characters. It’s as nerdy cool as it sounds. You can check the rest out by clicking here.
In other Star Wars news, could these fire rescue masks be the inspiration for Darth Vader and C-3PO?
Yeah, probably.
Apparently they were used in between the late 1880’s and World War I. From the article in the Atlantic:
“The buzz among collectors is that George Lucas’ designers must have found inspiration in these smoke helmets and other [sic] like them,” [collector Steve] Erenberg wrote. “In fact, one well-known 19th-century manufacturer” — that early company — “was named Vajen-Bader.” From there, Vader isn’t a big stretch.
(SIDENOTE: None of it’s a big stretch.)
(Thanks Becky for the find at the top!)
The concept of “Sweding a film” may no longer be in vogue, much like saying whether or not something is in vogue, but I love what these guys have done.
It’s pretty self-explanatory.
It’s awesome.
It’s a live-action version of the intro to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon:
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 