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Musical Musings… Maybe It’s Regina Spektor (Sing It Like The Maybelline Jingle)

Posted on May 25, 2009 by sgottahurt

To start off… I know, I know, the last two posts have been kind of lady-centric (which literally meant something way different back in the Old West… say it slowly), so why stop now on this Memorial Day. In addition to the current state of this blog, my last Musical Musings was about songs sounding the same that may or may not have sounded the same. Don’t hold that one against my credibility. Heck, don’t even believe that I have any credibility. But this time – I think I’m onto something.

Listen to the background music in this Maybelline commercial featuring Adriana Lima (hey guys, at least it’s featuring a Victoria’s Secret model… and a golf ball for some reason):

Now take a listen to Regina Spektor’s On the Radio:

(For the record I was at that Lollapalooza concert performance. I think you can see me in the crowd at the end. I’m the guy in a striped shirt, clapping. My face was a little blurry that day, so I kind of blend in.)

Now I dare you to go back and listen to the Maybelline commercial and see how they ripped her song off. (Maybe I should have put them on this page in the opposite order… oh well, deal with it.)

The song is definitely not the original, and amazingly, it’s coincidentally similar. Kind of like these posters:

OneSheet (Page 1)

sweet_home_alabama

Okay, it’s even closer than these two posters… but still.

Drunken Recollection… There Just Aren’t Enough Figure Skating Movies

Posted on May 23, 2009 by sgottahurt

Yesterday was a bittersweet sports night in Detroit. On one hand, the Tigers won their seventh straight game (barely… thanks, Zumaya). On the other, the Red Wings lost in overtime to the Chicago Blackhawks.

Somehow, through the course of starting the night at Comerica Park and stopping at the bar to watch the second half of the playoff game, the conversation veered to figure skating movies. Well, it started with the mere mention of figure skating; I steered it toward chatting about film.

The topic: What’s the best movie about figure skating?

The answer: The Cutting Edge (natch).

: When I finish this post, I just might watch it again. That is, if I owned the DVD. Who am I kidding? I own it…

I mean, it could be argued that since Ice Castles was the first, it’s the best by some (I’ve never seen it, but after watching this video featuring its theme song, I feel like I have to).

Some tidbit facts about Ice Castles:

There’s a remake coming out next year to coincide with the 2010 Winter Olympics.
Star Lynn-Holly Johnson went on to be a Bond Girl to Roger Moore in For Your Eyes Only.
Co-star Robby Benson almost won the role of Luke Skywalker in some movie I don’t recall, but he did voice The Beast in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. He also directed episodes of Friends, apropos of nothing.
It’s also a song by Ween.

Arguments for The Cutting Edge:

It was awesome.
It was funny.
It was heartwarming.
It spawned a trilogy.

There really need to be five movies to tell the full story.

According to Wikipedia, there have been only 7 films about figure skating, while

skiing gets 9
surfing gets 11
wrestling and ice hockey get 14
(and oh yeah – cheerleading, skateboarding, and rodeo also get 7)

Forget the major leagues and any kind of racing, and you realize Hollywood hasn’t explored other sports all that much. Especially when you consider that the 14 ice hockey movies include the Mighty Ducks trilogy, a second Slap Shot film, MVP: Most Valuable Primate, and The Guru – heaven help all ice-skating related works.

JusWondering… Wait-And-See Sequels Worth The Wait To See?

Posted on May 21, 2009 by sgottahurt

A bit ago, IMDb ran this poll:

Grant it the survey was held with tongue planted firmly at the back of the throat (I know they say ‘cheek’ normally, but it is ‘growing’ out of your throat like a plant… this was funnier and not as gross in my head).

Anyjohnhughes, as much as I would love to see Ferris Bueller’s Laid Off, it ain’t gonna happen. As of now, not any one of those films have a chance – nay, a whisper – of development talk.

These on the other hand, these sequels have been chatted up dearly:

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (scheduled for 9/5/10) – Decorate your buds:

Why not? We’ve already seen these guys ride a cheetah in the wrong direction, and spoke down with W. And everybody knows National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation was the best of Chevy Chase’s screen family’s exploits. Too bad they never made that Swiss Family Griswold that Chevy promised. Oops… they kinda did.

Ghostbusters 3 (maybe to start filming this Christmas) – I am afraid of part 2:

This movie is the childhood dream behind a fourth Indiana Jones movie. Keep fucking Lucas and Spielberg away (should be easy since they had nothing to do with the first two), and let Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky’s script have room to glow. The duo writes for The Office; The Office can be is funny. Thank Gozer that Atari (wait… really, Atari?) got the Ecto-1 rolling on making a new video game based on the franchise. That probably helped accelerate enthusiasm, and something something clever about waking ghosts.

Wall Street 2 (sometime in 2010) – Giant bull anyone?

Is Oliver Stone relevant? The antithesis to the ‘Greed is good’ mantra from the first film certainly is alive and unwell. And Michael Douglas isn’t doing anything except Catherine Zeta-Jones. Greed certainly is good for the studios, but this long-not-so-awaited sequel is a little more The Two Jakes, than The Color of Money (neither is much of a compliment). Wait… Shia LaBeouf is in it? Are you sure he’s not too busy?

Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2 (who knows?) – “A shave and a hare-cut… too late!”

I remember wanting to skip a summer baseball game to see the original. Would I want to skip a soccer game as an adult to see the sequel? No. But I would go see a midnight sneak preview afterwards. Director Robert Zemeckis – reigning king of creepy CGI work in The Polar Express, Beowulf, and the upcoming A Christmas Carol (third holiday shout out on this post) – wants to include… creepy CGI. Could be an interesting mash-up of styles, and could make for a neat-o picture.

Some rumored projects that will most likely never see the light of the darkened theater. Never say never…

Lethal Weapon 5
Gremlins 3
The Goonies 2
Men in Black 3 (It’s most likely happening, but the announcement occurred on April 1st, so who knows…)

Drunken Recollection… First Rule Of Bachelor Party – You Don’t Talk About Bachelor Party

Posted on May 17, 2009 by sgottahurt

For the last two weeks, not a smidge of alcohol has quenched my parched, getting-very-used-to-water, lips.

One bachelor party changed the no-drinking-in-May plan (at least for that night).
Two beers in, I was feeling tipsy.
The third film in the X-Men series almost killed my burgeoning buzz when it was brought up before the bus bid farewell.
Four… ah, I’m at a loss on how to keep this list up. Oh, wait! Four bars is the amount we visited.
Five beers came in a bucket at our second stop. Or should I say a fifth of Jack was passed around (of which I passed on).

Okay, yeah, now I give up. Anyway, overall it was fairly trouble free, aside from my cousin slapping me in the face, punching me in the gut, and tucking his feet in my armpit as he curled up in a ball to sleep – all within six minutes (I told you I’m stopping the number thing).

I recall talking to a stripper dancer woman at one of the stops extensively about this:

Like our purloined dispenser, except ours had sunflower seeds, peanuts, and Reese's Pieces. I think.

Someone in the group who will go nameless, but was prone to slapping and punching despite being sleepy, stole lifted a candy dispenser and someone else in the group got really upset about it.

The best man forbid a couple of women from joining the group on its road trip, which at the time, sounded like a bad idea to not let them, but hindsight being what it is, was simply a bad idea, so kudos to him. I can’t get too upset then that he had the bus drop him off directly at home.

Back at our original point of departure, I was done. Well, I was with it enough to eat a few Pizza Rolls.

I guess some of the other guys put the candy dispenser on top of the guy’s car that was getting upset. (Sure, he had a reason for being irritated, but it was meh at best.) I guess that inflamed him further and he smashed it on the ground. Someone else took it upon himself and completely busted it open. Quarters flew everywhere, and those who were still awake scooped them up.

The next morning, the three of us that drove together walked out into the gloomy daybreak. I spotted a crapload of quarters that went unclaimed. My reply: “I would like to say that if I was a kid right now, seeing this would make me happy as hell. But as an adult, I can’t say that I feel any different. I’m not too proud to crouch long enough to pick up a few dollars.”

My cousin and I gathered about ten bucks each. My friend with us had already grabbed about ten bucks the night before…

In My Brain While Sleeping… Animal Fights – GO!

Posted on May 13, 2009 by sgottahurt

I must confess. That header probably indicates way more excitement than my actual dream entailed. What made this dream stay with me was the fact that it was so unbelievably dumb, it awakened me giggling. It wasn’t laughing, it wasn’t chortling… it was merely tee-hee.

The fight in question: Blowfish vs. Starfish.

(Sort of) Artistic Representation

Now where could this dream have originated in my subconscious? It could have been from watching this preview:

Not only is Renegade the star, but Deborah/Debbie Gibson is Acting! in this CGI monstrosity as well? Sign me up! (You see, Debbie Gibson is my first concert experience and an early crush… *blush*)

How about some other animal fight options?

Bee vs. Jumping Spider
Barn Owl vs. Rat(creeeeepy)
Giraffe vs. Giraffe
Buffalo vs. Lion vs. Crocodile
Monkey vs. Dog
Bear vs. Shark
Zombie vs. Shark (third time on this site!)
Man vs. Wild vs. Hoax

INGREDIENTS: A sole chicken finger from the bar and lotsa agua.

InASense, Lost… Macrophilia (Yep, It’s Sexual)

Posted on May 11, 2009 by sgottahurt

Will wonders never cease? As in, “I wonder how this fetish developed?”

Allow me to introduce MACROPHILIA to your lexicon. It’s not what you think. Or it’s exactly what you think. Anything philia usually has to deal with makin’ whoopie (sorry, now that I have cable, I’ve skimmed past an episode of the Newlywed Game, hosted by Carnie Wilson for some reason). And macro means big, so volia!

Weird, right?

Apparently, there’s a portion of men that get excited at the prospect of being stepped on by a giant woman. Want more proof, check out this kind of NSFW site. It’s partially about dominance, partially about foot fetishism, and partially about voreaphilia (geez!), but it’s totally… odd.

As for where the fetish originated in older gents?

Oooweee! I wish she'd step on me!

And for future generations?

Oooweee! I hope only 'she' steps on me!

(via Atom)

Drunken Recollection… Of The Cable Kind (Update)

Posted on May 9, 2009 by sgottahurt

(EMBARRASSING UPDATE: I was up for 24 hours. I may have a problem…)

How I feel right now... just waiting for tomorrow's hangover.

My daze is waning. My day is fading. I finally have high-speed access to the TripleDoubleU at home once again, and in addition to that, I’ve added cable to the package.

Mmmm, cable… it was one of the few things that got me out of the house besides trivia and drinking and sports and drinking. My friends and family had it, and I’d often visit them to partake in its offerings. I’ll miss them.

So far, I’ve caught up on back episodes of Survivor. I’ve managed to get through The Onion Movie as well as Whacked Out Videos(gah!) on G4. The latest: I’m finishing up the Top 100 One-Hit Wonders of the 80’s on VH1 Classic, even though I know the results of the list. The reason being we discussed this the other day at the bar.

Happy (Geeky) Find… Turk As Lando? Yes, Please!

Posted on May 7, 2009 by sgottahurt

On last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (btw… can’t wait for Conan’s return June 1st!), Scrubs’ Donald Faison stopped by to promote his new film, Next Day Air, but who cares about that! He has an even better idea for a new movie…

Via Star Wars Blog:

It’d be The Chronicles of Lando Calrissian starring Donald Faison. I’d be Lando. And it would be before he lost the Millennium Falcon to Han Soloin that Sabacc game. And we would be cruising across the galaxy in the Falcon gettin’ chicks, drinking ale. And the hair would be phenomenal! I’d have to wear a wig or what we could do is just shave my head for back in the day when Lando used to shave his head. He’d have a whole new crew. It would be before Episode IV. So Episode 3.5 or 3.6.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Happy Geek Find…“, posted with vodpod

BONUS STAR WARS NERDINESS: I thought of this idea a day or so ago for some reason… thank Jedis somebody else already made it, because I’m far too lazy. I only wish it was made to Alien Ant Farm’s version of Smooth Criminal rather than Michael Jackson’s, as the original runs a little long, but hey… M’Beg’gers can’t be Chewies.

Awful Battle… Sherman The Robot Or Gary Oldman As A Little Person?

Posted on May 6, 2009 by sgottahurt

I’m not sure which idea/makeup transformation is more awful:

Sherman the Robot from 1989’s Millennium (which also featured Cheryl Ladd and Kris Kristofferson, as well as the thought-provoking closing lines displayed below the video)…

This is not the end.
This is not the beginning of the end.
It is the end of the beginning.

…Gary Oldman portraying Matthew McConaughey’s twin brother whom also happens to be a little person? (Couldn’t they have given a real little person the part in the direct-to-DVD flick called Tiptoes?)

BONUS AWFUL: Did that preview really show Kate Beckinsale readying to perform fellatio on Matt?

(via Everything is Terrible and VideoGum)

Musical Musings… Why Do I Find Myself Defending Flo Rida?

Posted on May 5, 2009 by sgottahurt

When rapper Flo Rida originally burst on the scene (his song Low was featured in the award-winning-worthy Step Up 2 The Streets), I wasn’t a fan. I thought the song was essentially shilling a catalog of products: Apple Bottoms jeans, Uggs (boots with fur), Reeboks (with straps), and um, baggy sweatpants…

But somewhere along the line, I got hooked. The same happened with his follow up (In the Ayer) and Right Round, which borrows quite liberally from the classic 80’s tune, You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive.

Now know this – I usually can’t stand it when most songs lift old songs for new ones. (Rihanna’s borrowing of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love back-beat to create the entirely different SOS was a major exception. And I don’t count the Numa Numa song lifted for TI and Rihanna’s Live Your Life.) And Right Round barely passed that opinion, but imagine my surprise when I heard Eiffel 65’s Blue in a new song:

Initially, I thought, “Oh geez, not this now!” But when I figured out it out was Flo Rida, all was forgiven. Why is that?

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