For some reason, my friend Chris went onto MySpace today, and he saw this:
It’s an advertisement for The Social Network, a film about the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg.
I can only assume that because the film is allegedly an attack on Zuckerberg, that’s why it’s on the site.
But still… it leads me to wonder Hibbidy-Wah?!
Why did Chris go to MySpace?!
This originated as a Drunken Recollection, but it was so long ago (or I was so hammered), I don’t recall the events that lead to the discussion. But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve wanted to map out where other period pieces fell.
So here’s what you get, you lucky bastards:
While it’s fiction, Tolkien did leave a telling clue as to his “historic timetable”. Numenor, also called Atlantis, was destroyed about 3000 years before the events of Lord of the Rings. The reference we have in actual historical records about Atlantis date that city at 10,000 BCE. So, the events of the trilogy would have taken place around 7000 BCE, with the fading of magic and the start of the fourth age around that time. (Keep in mind that the Atlantis story itself comes from a single reference in what amounted to a text about political systems).
BTW, BCE is the new PC term for BC (CE is the new AD, I guess). And since we’re just over 2000 years beyond the nerds estimate, I’m sticking with about 10,000 years ago.
Now as for Star Wars, there is some divide, mostly because people are idiots, and they can’t grasp the concept a long time ago and futuristic technology.
It’s not specified in Earth years, just that it happened “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” Most of the dates in Star Wars are relative to pivotal battles. The Battle of Yavin is typically used as the starting point. So everything is either BBY (Before Battle of Yavin) or ABY (After Battle of Yavin).
There are two possibilities. The Star Wars universe might be located in a parallel universe and might be taking place in our time. Or if they are in war in our Milky Way Galaxy, the date is most likely the year 3,000. If current technological advances keep up in the rapid pace they are in we will one day live in a Star Wars-like universe, I guarantee it.
That’s a guarantee to put money on. What a fucking dipshit. He contradicted himself in his own answer. In all actuality, I liked this answer the best:
1943
So that got me thinking… what if the Star Wars films really took place in our universe. Perhaps during the Clone Wars, some Jedi or Sith Lords happened upon or planet, and taught the ancient Egyptians how to build the pyramids? That would place them at about 5000 years ago.
And maybe what happened in Roswell was a cover up of a long-awaited return visit.
And maybe, just maybe… that’s where the English language came from.
And finally, here’s that period piece map I promised. Enjoy!
I’m letting Fernando Reza of Fro Design do the heavy lifting for me today.
Here’s A Handful Of business cards he made based on unforgettable corporate entities from TV and film.
Okay, here’s my one contribution… that somebody else did:
I did not know Disney BLAM! existed, nor should I have, as I don’t watch the Disney Channel (that much). So upon finding these videos, I did not initially realize one of them was a parody, and it just about destroyed me.
Thank Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen body (or maybe it’s just his head, à la Ted Williams) one’s a fake. Can you figure out which one before your brain freezes in abject refusal to continue on?
(answer after jump) Read More
I’ve watched this more times than I would have expected to based upon the premise.
PREMISE: Somebody removed the original soundtrack from the Inception preview and re-dubbed it all… the music, character voices, and sound effects.
The part that keeps me clicking replay? The music.
Here’s the original for comparison:
With everybody bitching about the state of the vampire mythos these days, I’m here to remind you it could be much worse.
“Writer” Stephanie Meyer has taken a lot of slack for Twilight and her inability to create compelling character… names.
Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Esme Cullen… Renesmee Cullen. (Source: Wikipedia, of course.)
Here are some worse names than those (if they are not, I tried my best):
Cousin Larry Cullen
Blaine Tristan Cullen
D.B. Cullen
Stifler Cullen
Colin Cullen
Justin Bieber
People barely remember Dana Carvey, let alone his attempt to break away from his Saturday Night Live shackles, The Dana Carvey Show. Considered ahead of its time, here are the opening skits from the first episode:
Aside from the advertising sponsored episode titles (in this case, my favorite, Taco Bell), did anything else stand out?
Perhaps some the actors involved?
The 40-Year-Old Version, The Office, Little Miss Sunshine, Get Smart
Strangers with Candy, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, TV Funhouse
Notice any of the writers involved?
Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Lucky Louie, Parks and Recreation, Louie
Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Delocated
Community, Moral Orel, Mary Shelley's Frankenhole
Seinfeld ("Soup Nazi"), Talkshow with Spike Ferensten
I had no idea Mike Myers was such a mooch. There were rumors that he lifted Dr. Evil from Dana Carvey’s impression of SNL creator, Lorne Michaels, but I had no idea he got this idea…
Vodpod videos no longer available.
…from this:
I’m passing no judgment. It’s more of an I had no idea! revelation.
An additional I had no idea! revelation – the bad guy in Atom Age Vampire looks like he could be Will Ferrell’s Pop or Grandpop (0:30 mark):
Does this tree get HBO?
This has been a question pondered by my friends and I for a while now. If you were stuck on a deserted island, what Actor!’s film catalog would you want to have with you?
A few fine names were thrown around – DeNiro, Nicholson, Pacino, Dreyfuss…
Of course there was talk of Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Matt Damon, and Hayden Christensen, but my choice came down to two people:
1) Bill Murray
2) Harrison Ford
"I don't see my name down there anywhere!"
With Bill, you get the (my) likes of these:
Not to mention his earlier works like Meatballs, Caddyshack, and Stripes, plus in between works like Ed Wood, Kingpin, Wild Things, Rushmore, The Aquatic Life with Steve Zissou, and Get Low! And there’s even more if you get sick of these! That’s quite a filmography!
"I don't see your name up there either, Garfield. I wonder if my earring is listed down below."
With Harrison, on the other hand, you get two of the Great Trilogy of Trilogies – Star Wars and Indiana Jones… (Back to the Future is the third, and don’t get your knickers in a twist – nobody counts Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)…
Here’s (my) Harrison’s list:
Okay, so he sort of fizzles out, but even still… that’s a bunch of flicks I could repeatedly view.
But then, a new person showed up to the proceedings, and suggested we consider character Actors! (turned leads) instead of leads:
I thought that was a pretty good idea, so I changed my answer and picked an up and coming star, Sasha Grey:
"I starred in Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience, and you didn't. Hey Harrison, I think I found your earring."
This So, Duh! Pop Quiz could be viewed as skewed toward personal opinion, but you’re wrong. Basically, this is a list of 80’s movies, and you need to decide if it could be remade (REMAKE), if the thought of that happening makes you recoil (RINSE), or if a sequel would even be allowed (REPEAT).
Are there right and wrong answers? You betcha.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
(posters via IMP Awards, answers after the jump) Read More
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