Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk?

Coinkydink or Coinkydonk? Dude’s Name Looks Like A Lady’s

Posted on by sgottahurt


(Not So) Artistic Meeting of Artists

Ryan Star meet Ryan Starr.

One was on a reality show for singers and did not win.  There other was on a reality show for singers and did not win (well, he won a car, but not the show, Rock Star: Supernova).

But the one that won a car also has a new song on the radio (aside from a song on a movie soundtrack, the theme for a TV show, and various other sporting events):

Needless to say, I’m beginning to feel like he’s the health care plan (“They took our jobs!”), Justin Beiber, or the Kardashian sisters – he’s getting shoved down our throats… through our eardrums.

Look, I actually kind of like the song, but it could have been released by David Cook, David Archuleta, Kris Allen, or Daughtry (see where I’m going with this)… It feels mass-produced, processed, programmed.  Even the video is cloying.  But again, I had to use Shazam on my iPhone twice to figure out who sang it.  Twice.

So let’s get down to this name thing.  Ryan Star as a name sounds… derivative.  Not only because he shares it with American Idol Season 1 contestant, Ryan Starr (the extra R adds some flavorr), but also his surname with this motley crew:

Ringo Starr

Ken Starr

Captain Lone Starr

Rock Star

Mon*Star

BraveStarr

Patrick Star

In closing, and in Ryan Star’s defense… Star is the middle name his hippie parents gave him, but considering Tiffany Ryan Montgomery changed her name to Ryan Starr after some advice from Paula Abdul, that should speak volumes about your final choice.

And for the record Mr. Star, Ryan Kulchinsky will always be better than r.star.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? South Park-tisan Politics

Posted on by sgottahurt

South Park creators (and in my opinion, geniuses) Trey Parker and Matt Stone have never taken any sides politically (via Wikipedia, of course):

Yeah, we have seen that. What we’re sick of—and it’s getting even worse—is: you either like Michael Moore or you wanna fuckin’ go overseas and shoot Iraqis. There can’t be a middle ground. Basically, if you think Michael Moore’s full of shit, then you are a super-Christian right-wing whatever. And we’re both just pretty middle-ground guys. We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far left and the far right are the same exact person to us. – Trey Parker

Okay, so they consider themselves middle-ground.  But what about their infamous foursome – Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny.  I placed them on the chart according to what I thought they represented.

  • Stan as Liberal/Centrist

Known for having little faith in the adults of the town, he’s supported most of the things that Democrats support: gay rights, civil liberties, and the separation of Church and State.  Having said that, he tries to distance himself from any political parties whatsoever.  And remember, this is the kid that refused to eat veal and grew vaginas all over his body.

  • Kyle as Liberal/Libertarian

Being of Jewish decent, he must be part Democrat. But otherwise, he favors limited government intervention, hence the Libertarian slant.  He’s considered the smartest of the four, and he’s least likely to fall in tow with the group’s wackier plans.

Libertarian’s worldview:

We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal right of others to live in whatever manner they choose.

Kyle’s worldview (via Wikipedia):

Either it’s all okay, or none of it is… (in regard to whether any subject should remain off-limits to satire)

Not really close to the same, but it’s something.

  • Kenny as Republican/Centrist

Aren’t all poor rednecks right-leaning heathens?  Moving on…

  • Cartman as Totalitarian/Republican/Fascist

More Totalitarian than anything else, it’s his way or the highway.  And then there’s always this:

"Respect my authoritah!"

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Meet Spongebob Drescher And Fran Squarepants

Posted on by sgottahurt

My brother caught this one and brought it to my attention…

Fran Drescher and Spongebob Squarepants share the same (or at least similar) annoying laugh.  If the proof is in the pudding, hopefully you enjoy marble and lemon meringue on your tongue.

THE MARBLE PUDDING (a chocolate and vanilla remix of a video I posted elsewhere…)!

THE LEMON MERINGUE PUDDING (because I like neither that flavor nor Mr. S.S…)!

BONUS PUDDING!

BONUS FOOD FOR THOUGHT THAT’S NOT PUDDING!

Bill Murray played Peter Venkman and Garfield on film; Lorenzo Music played Peter Venkman and Garfield on TV.

Via Wikipedia:

Since Lorenzo Music’s death, Frank Welker has often replaced him as the voice of Garfield the Cat in recent productions of the Garfield franchise… Frank Welker also provided the voice of Ray Stanz on The Real Ghostbusters, and Music… was replaced by Dave Coulier when Bill Murray complained to the studio that his character (Peter Venkman) sounded too much like Garfield.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Am I A Trendsetter?

Posted on by sgottahurt

As I (unabashedly) brought to your attention in my last Happy Find, I started another blog called Micro Mike Rowe.  I began that punny wonder on April 20th.

Then on April 26th, this bit appeared on Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Enjoy Little Danson Man:

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more about “Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk?“, posted with vodpod

Hmm… my cut-and-paste craze is barely off the ground, and one screwball skit makes a trend not.

But then yesterday, on May 3rd’s Attack of the Show, apropos of nothing, co-host Morgan Webb appeared between segments as Tiny Morgan.  Alas there is no available clip of that, but this bit immediately followed it.  As (barely) proof, check out Kristin Adams opening for The Feed (or check this vid at the 2:54 mark):

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Morgan Webb is much more fun to edit than Mike Rowe... Sorry, buddy...

Coinkydink?  Or Coinkydonk?  You decide…

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? This Is No Longer A Coinkydink, Right?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I once drunkenly questioned the intentions of a skit on Saturday Night Live, and wondered whether the bit was spoofing the Insane Clown Posse or not.

This occurred on the last episode hosted by Ryan Phillippe, and I can’t stop laughing about it:

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Then I found out about this, and I can’t stop laughing about it more:

My Drunken Recollection has been proven, right?  I wish I had seen these videos in the opposite order, but oh well.  Just add it to the list of magical mysteries, under blankets and magnets…

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Bigger… And… Faster… Ah, Forget It

Posted on by sgottahurt

"Draw Your Own Conclusions" Edition

Jimmy Johnson is an NFL coach that demands hard work and speed on the field.  When off the field, he promotes Extenze (I refuse to make the Z a capital letter).

Jimmy John’s is a sandwich shop that demands hard work and speed in the field.  When in the stores, they promote hard work and speed in creating tasty sandwiches.

Here are the Urban Dictionary definitions of jimmy and johnson.

I believe there is a comedy bit in here somewhere, but I don’t feel like shuffling through the gutters of my twelve-year-old mind.

So here’s an excellent bit from the Onion.  It will be doing the heavy lifting.

Oh wait – I’ve got it!

Top Ten Things Overheard By Jimmy Johnson At A Jimmy John’s After Taking ExtenZe (Dammit Z, You Got Me!)

10) Go long!  Old habit…

9) So you’re fast?

8) Extra meat please!

7) No Slim for me!

6) I just took an ExtenZe pill!

5) No, I don’t own this place!

4) That was quick!

3) How much?

2) That much!?

1) This pill ain’t doing dick for me!

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Sandra Bullock’s Pickle

Posted on by sgottahurt

Definition: pick•le (v)

fix; informal term for a difficult situation; “he got into a terrible fix”; “he made a muddle of his marriage”; “Sandra Bullock’s in quite a pickle”

Hot off of an Oscar (and Razzie) win, Sandra Bullock has found herself on the butt-end of a debacle involving her husband, Jesse James, possibly having an affair with tattoo canvas, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.

James’ former paramour and mother of his daughter, Janine Lindemulder, was also a fan of porn, well, watch this video and see…

BONUS: Is the Oscar curse in full effect?

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? “The Weaver” In Action

Posted on by sgottahurt

When I used to work at the video store, one of my friends there introduced me to the idea of “The Weaver.”  His definition:

Some actresses look really hot in some movies, and not so much in others… just like Sigourney Weaver.  Hence, ‘The Weaver.’

She hasn’t been around for a while (aside from doing voices in animated films).  Scratch that.  She did three movies in 2008 (Baby Mama, Vantage Point, Be Kind Rewind), but I barely remembered her being in them.

But my point is this – throughout her history in film, sometimes she looked better than others.  To begin, I reference her duality in Avatar:

Why so blue?

In the film, her character even made a reference to her cartoon self looking “hotter” than her actual self.  Rather than me inputting my opinions (not like I ever do this), here are images of some of her major roles.  You can decide which side of The Weaver scale she falls.  (Not included below: Half Moon Junction, because of these NSFW results.)

Alien - Aliens - Alien 3 - Alien Resurrection

The Year of Living Dangerously

Ghostbusters 1 and 2

Gorillas in the Mist: The Story of Dian Fossey

Working Girl

Dave

Galaxy Quest

Heartbreakers

Holes

The Village

Others that fall victim to The Weaver:

Cameron Diaz - Renee Zellweger - Reese Witherspoon

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Tim And Eric Are LOST?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I apologize for the lack of timeliness of this post, and the lack of evidence to back it up, but it’s something weird I noticed that reaches a level of Coinkydink or Coinkydonk.  As a refresher, a Coinkydink is a coincidence, while a Coinkydonk is on purpose.

Anyadultswim, I am a huge fan of the phrase, “Fair enough.”  I first picked it up from Tim and Eric’s cartoon (?) Tom Goes to the Mayor.  The titular Tom Peters was equally fond of the saying:

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Another thing picked up from both of those shows happened to come from their credits:

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Now I may not regularly say either “fair enough” or “absolutely,” but whenever I hear them uttered, BOOM!  I think of Tim and Eric.

While watching Season 5 of LOST in preparation for Season 6, I realized both phrases were said a lot.  “Fair enough” was said so much that a forum practically devoted an entire thread to it.

As for “absolutely,” here are a couple quotes from Season 5:

John Locke: Absolutely. Richard has agreed to show us where we need to go. So I’m gonna go and see Jacob right now. And I’d like all of you to come with me

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford: You still got my back?
Juliet Burke: Absolutely.

Were I so inclined to (or provided I had the time and technology), I would have put together a YouTube video as proof.  Maybe one day I will, but for now, you’ll have to take my word for it.

So what does this all mean, you wonder?  I think the answer is simple:

Are you LOST? Because so am I...

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Do Disney Heroines Have A Dress Code?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Beginning in 1937, Walt Disney set a precedent with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Was it in animation? I guess possibly.

Was it in film history? Maybe.  I think so.

Was it in– Listen man, do I look like a film major or something?  (For the record – I am.)

The precedent I speak of is a simple one: almost all Disney heroines wear blue.

EXAMPLE 1: THE DISNEY PRINCESSES

Snow White - Cinderella - Aurora (Briar-Rose) - Eilonwy - Ariel - Jasmine - Pocahontas - Mulan - Kira - Tiana

Okay, so Snow White is wearing all the primary colors, Sleeping Beauty’s dress changes back and forth between pink and blue, Eilonwy’s eyes are the bluest thing on her, and only pieces of Pocahontas and Mulan’s outfits are blue, but there’s still further proof in the pudding.

EXAMPLE 2: THE DISNEY NON-PRINCESSES

Blue Fairy - Alice - Wendy - Jenny - Belle - Esmerelda - Jane

This one’s easy. The Blue Fairy has the color in her name; Alice & Belle and Wendy & Jenny are practically twins; Esmerelda’s corset is blue and for Jane it’s her kerchief.  Blue eyes are shared by almost all of these ladies as well.  Sorry Belle (brown) and Esmerelda (green).

EXAMPLE 3: THE DISNEY ANIMALS

Jumbo - Lady - Purdy - Duchess

Lady and Purdy might only have blue collars, and Duchess only blue eyes, but Jumbo sure has one big blue blanket.  As far as the animals go, these few are lucky.  The others…

EXAMPLE 4: WILD ANIMALS AND WILD, UM, CHILDS

Bambi's Mother - Maid Marian - Bianca - Nala - Megara - Lilo

These are the unlucky ones that break the blue streak.  It makes sense that Bambi’s Mother and Nala don’t represent the traditional hue, seeing as how their stories take place in the wild, but it’s also interesting that the anthropomorphized animals (Maid Marian and Bianca) wear purple alongside the temptress-turned-heroine Megara.  I figure Lilo never wears blue since her pet “puppy” Stitch is nothing but.

So what does all this blue business mean?

Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven. (via Color Wheel Pro)

Hmm… those are pretty decent traits for all these characters to be associated with.  What I don’t understand is whay there has to be an emphasis on pretty…

Wait.  The emphasis was mine.  Never mind.

(Thanks to David for the tip)