Happy Find… Ideas Assemble!

The Avengers aren’t hitting the big screen until next summer, so here’s the trailer for the small screen version now:

Aside from that, there’s a newer online dating site called HowAboutWe that could be interesting… if I online dated.

But my other big to-do is about the Lytro, a functional light field camera, which means you can take a picture without worrying about focusing – you can change the focus later:

Punch Drunken Recollection… Honey Badger Don’t Care!

On my recent trip to New York to watch the Yankees get rained out before beating the Detroit Tigers the next day, we stopped in DuBois, Pennsylvania for the night.  We were so over-tired and wired from the drive, we decided we needed to get some drinks to relax us enough to get some sleep.

Anybooze, we stopped at Eastside Sports Bar

They were playing Reel Big Fish's "Beer" so it felt like a safe place to be... at least the beer was cheap.

…and purchased as many beers as we could on site, as well as plenty to go.

What does that have to do with anything?  Well, it was on this night that I saw this video for the first time:

And now the badass honey badger has gone mainstream:

Oh, and for the record…  a fight broke out within fifteen minutes of us being at that bar, and like the honey badger, I didn’t give a shit.

Unofficial Trilogy… Halloween Horror Oreo Edition

I’m especially proud of this Unofficial Trilogy… The Halloween Horror Oreo:

Horror films always mess with our heads, even in the posters.

It’s very possible that you haven’t heard of any of these films, and if you did, it’s probably more likely that you’ve never seen them.  Watch them!  And in this order.  The Oreo-ness will become apparent soon enough.

The Brood

This David Cronenberg film proves my theory that size matters in regard to what’s scary.  I would explain what this film was about, but I fear (ha!) it would give too much away.  Cronenberg is known primarily for his “body horror” films, and this one is no different.  Watch it first to set the dark mood…

The Stuff

This goofier horror film about a dessert that turns people into zombies is the cream-filling needed to clean your palette after The Brood, and prepare you for…

Frailty

This film is atmospheric as fuck.  And well-written.  And well-directed.  And well-acted, which is weird considering Matthew McConaughey is in it.  It’s about the sons of a serial killer that believes he’s carrying out God’s plans.  Man, is this dark movie good… unlike my write-ups on all these films.

So in closing, when you ask me:

Trick or treat?

You’ll have to watch this Unofficial Horror Oreo Trilogy to find out!

In Defense Of… Today’s Youth (Even Including Hipsters)

Let’s face it… as a collective whole, Generation X is a collective hole.  All we did was whine and dine on every technological change that made our pitiful existences that much easier to have more time to, well, whine more.

Our gut instincts tell us to poo-poo on this next gaggle of young adults, but like the babies of the family, they’ve seen what the Greatest Generation and the Baby Boomers and us have wrought, and they are ready to make the best of a bad situation.

To my Gen X’ers, nostalgia was just a fashion statement or a manifestation of our unwillingness to grow up.  To this next group, I think they see value.

For example, typewriters are as pointless as pretty much any technology modern cellphones have replaced spindles these days, but lest we forget them, today’s youth will find a way to reintroduce them:

Music tastes have changed through the decades, and rising musicians like Michigan-born Mayer Hawthorne, are working hard to keep styles such as Motown still alive:

And then there’s this movement:

Kids these days...

I’m 99% sure this next generation is are all right.

InASense, Lost… Create A Character Contest Strikes Back!

In 1985, this happened:

This was from the back of the funny pages, and it was serious.

So I decided to enter the contest, and at age ten, I created these characters:

I entered all of the above except for CARRYVAN, and the one I didn't even like called PUPPY HOG.

For entering so many characters (I guess), I won this playset:

My mom offered to take it back to the store to get something else. I refused. I played with it once.

These ended up being the finalists:

What the fuck?

Fearless Photog won the vote, but no toy was ever made.  At this year’s San Diego Comic-Con, it was announced that there would finally be a toy:

You're still kidding me, right?

But there was one bit of satisfaction I was always able to maintain.  Mattel ripped off my Elephantom!

They gave him a robot head and dubbed him Snout Spout.

But now, there’s this:

Victory will be mine!

I will keep you posted on my final entries.  Yes, there will be many.

————————————————————————————————————-

In case you were interested, here are each of the character’s write ups as they were when I was ten:

C.A.R.’s a small, weak wimp that can be Crushed And Restored. But every time he’s crushed by Evil, he gets mad, and when he gets mad, he gets bigger and stronger and wants revenge.  Only He-Man can talk him out of this vengeance he want.  But every time he’s crushed by Good, he gets courageous.

I guess I didn’t like that idea.  Why would good guys crush him?

When Ill-Yusion sways his hands illusions appear.  Anything he thinks of at the time will become an illusion.  Also, he is always ill.  So anytime he coughs or sneezes, an illusion will appear or disappear.

He was always ill?  Who saw that coming?

Ticklon has four arms.  The two upper arms tickle a victim and the two lower arms grab the weapons.  So there is no need for a weapon of his own with arms like this.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Kangaruin (then named Kangaroo Man) has a pouch to keep things hidden.  Can jump to the length of 50 feet and can jump as high as 20 feet.  His hands and feet are very powerful.  He can punch or kick through any solid material.

Liquid materials, forget it.

Walrusaur (then named Walrus Man) has stun rays in his teeth. His teeth can also eat through 3/5 of any material except lime stone, like the walls of Castle Grayskull.  His flipper hands and feet make him a good swimmer (and slapper).

There should have been more slapping in He-Man cartoons.

Elephantom – The ghostly elephant whose trunk can stretch miles until the enemy’s caught. Weighs nothing with unbelievable strength.

Snout Spout was only shown in the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special, and some She-Ra episodes, although I never saw those.

She-Yuld – Her shields create invisible force fields that keeps gathering around.  Once finished, ricochets anything that hits them.  Her shields have magnetic forces under them, too.

I don’t get what any of that means.

Clustor (Tartor, Ropego, and Gluestick together) – Tartor alone shakes his leg and gooky tar flies; Ropego alone has a rope arm and buzzsaw spurs on his heels; Gluestick alone spits glue from his mouth.  Together as Clustor they are stronger than ever: streams of glue from the mouth, a more controllable rope arm, and buckets of tar from the legs of Clustor.

Gluestick was the best I could come up with?

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Movie Preview Circle Jerk

I just wish I could find the inspiration for this post online.  Believe it or not, I saw a trailer on TV for Clint Eastwood’s J. Edgar that ripped off the Inception sound.  (I recorded it off TV – unfortunately it’s not as clear as I hoped.  Click here to hear.)  If you don’t know the infamous BRMMMM, click here.

It’s already been ripped off in this past summer’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon and next summer’s The Avengers:

This has happened once before with the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre using the flash bulb sound from the original trailer, and then it popped up everywhere (I just can’t remember where, for the life of me):

Previews are so terrible today, a woman is suing the advertisers of Ryan Gosling’s Drive for being misleading.  I was under the impression it was a cool, 80’s throwback movie based upon its neon logo, until I saw this TV spot:

Unbeatable?  Unstoppable?  Unkillable?

I started thinking he could be some supernatural driver out of the 50’s!  (The lawsuit states the woman thought it was going to be like The Fast and the Furious… my version is better.)

And how about this preview for James McTeigue’s follow-up to V for VendettaThe RaVen (the capital V is in the preview just to remind you):

Anyone else think the inspector is the murderer?

A Handful Of… Non-Halloween Halloween Songs

Halloween is quickly approaching.  So there’s no time like the present to plan out the perfect holiday mix that feels less Halloweenie and more Halloweenus.

Here are A Handful Of Non-Halloween Halloween Songs:

  • Tegan and Sara – Walking with a Ghost
  • Skillet – Monster
  • Warren Zevon – Werewolves of London
  • The Cranberries – Zombie
  • Bloc Party – Hunting for Witches
  • Vampire Weekend – Holiday (anything by them would do…)

(SIDENOTE: The Toadies almost made it with Possum Kingdom because the infamous they say it’s about vampires, but based on the title alone, it seems to be about possums.  Possums can be scary, though…)

Musical Musings… What The Eff Is This Sh–?

The real answer is Cat Daddy by The Rej3ctz (featuring Chris Brown).

The right answer is a pop culture shirt-hawking, leetspeak-laden, wheelchair-dancing hullabaloo:

It’s sort of mesmerizing… in a bitch I go to work sort of way…

JusWondering… Am I The Show Killer?

One won; one lost.

Every season on network television, new shows come and new shows go.  That’s why I made a vow long ago to wait until the second season before I get involved in anything shiny.

This worked with LOST.  Although I wish that I waited until it was all over to ask if it was planned out like I had hoped, or completely made up as it went along, like so many accused it of doing.  (It was fucking made up, by the way.)

This hasn’t worked with Fringe, though.  I am currently so far behind, I’m willing to let it end and have someone tell me if it was worth it or not.  I’m not going through another LOST scenario, if I can help it.

Here are some other shows I skipped in its first run, which were inevitably cancelled:

  • Firefly
  • Invasion
  • FlashForward
  • V (this did make it to two season, technically, but it only ran for a total of 22 episodes)
  • Jericho
Here’s one show I broke my rule on and should have skipped in its first run:
  • Heroes

What’s not really that interesting to note is these are all sci-fi shows.  Not a drama or comedy in the bunch.  To be fair, I really don’t watch dramas, and the comedies I watch are weird, so I don’t expect them to be on more than a year (with the exception of Undeclared… that should have had a longer run).

So this year, I tacked on a few new shows: Up All Night, Free Agents, and The Playboy Club.  I felt lucky after adding one new network show last year (Raising Hope).  Two of the three are already gone (Up All Night has thus far evaded the axe).

I thought Free Agents was a smart relationship comedy with solid talents attached; The Playboy Club was stylish and sort of interesting, with plenty of cheese to spare.  (Okay, I only watched it because of Amber Heard.)  In both of these shows defense, they were trying something different… unlike the horrible Whitney and even worse 2 Broke Girls.  I would try to watch these to get them cancelled, but it’s already too late to end them early

Perhaps I can prevent a second year… (Who am I kidding!?  They’re both too terrible to watch!)

I've seen funnier billboards than this billboard AND show.