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Awful/Awesome Battle… I Dare You To Watch One And I Hope You Enjoy The Other

Posted on by sgottahurt

If you can make it all the way through 35+ minutes of this, you will no doubt be rewarded with some humor, but you may also be rewarded much fatigue.

If you watch it in its entirety, please comment below, and point out which of the 100 ways to love a cat are the funniest.

I’ll admit it – I’ve only jumped around.  35 minutes is about 34 minutes too long for a YouTube video to me.  But of what I have seen, I chortled…

On the other hand, this show debuts as a midseason replacement on NBC, and it reeks of potential, if that’s a polite thing to say.  I know it’s four minutes longer than my usual liking, but after trying the above video out, it didn’t seem so bad.

Plus, Olivia Munn is purdy.

The only question that remains – if Perfect Couples premieres on Thursdays, does that mean my Parks and Recreation won’t be coming back?

Hibbidy-Wah?! The Test That Proved How Amazing It Is I Can Survive Each Day

Posted on by sgottahurt

You may or may not have taken the “Awareness Test” before, but I couldn’t suggest it more.  It was put together by this country’s forefathers’ forefathers’ (and foremothers’) decendents, over yonder, across the pond.  (I’m talkin’ ’bout the Brits, you idiot!)

Anywhosyerforedaddy, I failed the test.  Terribly.  See how well you fare:

Hibbidy-Wah?! The Scared Bear Stare!

Posted on by sgottahurt

This poor neurotic bear cub has many issues to work out… namely, it needs to reconsider the company it associates with.  For starters, the dick humans that keep throwing it in with other scary baby animals, like lions and monkeys.  And heaven forbid putting it in the same enclosed space as that ever-so-frightening shadow! 

In all actuality, I’m all for doing this exact same thing with humans.  Fortunately for me (and perhaps for small children), I haven’t met any toddlers that were too afraid of other animals yet. 

Believe that one day when I do, I’ll be sure to dangle that kid above a barking dog.  Just out of reach of each other.  You know… for fun to teach a lesson.

That lesson being do it on a Korean (?) television show.  That way you can post it on YouTube.  Trust me on this.

Happy Finds… Douche Off, Superhero Dunks, And The Classic MANtage

Posted on by sgottahurt

This video is a bit old, but I’ve only recently stumbled upon it.  Just know that it bears repeated viewings:

Since that may not be new to you, I delved a little deeper into Barats and Bereta’s catalog, and uncovered this more recent offering which is equally entertaining in a nerdier way:

Then I checked out more of their stuff and realized I had known about these guys awhile back: 

And always remembered, Jesus pwn3d u.

Further Proof That America (And YouTube) Rocks!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I first discovered this kid’s YouTube channel, Pruane2Forever, via the always hilarious site, FilmDrunk.

Often attacked, but never backing down, Pruane2Forever gives his insights and opinions on pop culture and the world around us.  Occasionally, he even makes a film himself.

On this Fourth of July, as I sit in my living room listening to what I hope is fireworks, but actually believe is gunfire (because it happened once, and it sounded like a gun… yay Detroit!), let’s celebrate the awesomeness this country.  It’s a place where a kid from Canada can astutely comment on one of the most famous rappers in the world, and ultimately get to meet him.  The first half of the vid is their shout-out, and the second half is his original post.

America… FUCK YEAH!

Happy Find… 3-Minute Movies (Via Everything Is Terrible)

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve posted about my love of 5 Second Films before, but for those uninitiated, here’s a sample:

Well, on another favorite site of mine, Everything is Terrible, they’ve been perfecting their craft of the 3-Minute Movie edit, even though two of the most recent releases have fallen under 180 seconds.

From the Stephen Baldwin/Tom Berenger collaboration, Cutaway:

Brain-‘sploding intensity from Scanner Cop II:

And although this is not from EIT, it sums up Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen perfectly.  (NOTE: It feels long even though it’s one minute long.)

Hibbidy-Wah?! Black People And White People Buy Furniture?!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I recently found this video of a weird local commercial for, what else, a furniture store:

Consider my mind blown!  This couldn’t be real, could it?  I mean, was it serious?  Did it have lofty goals of promoting racial harmony and couches?  Courtesy of my new skill set (BOOM! Research!), I uncovered this…

Ugh.  I feel defeated.  I wanted that commercial to be legit.  I feel duped like most people did with The Blair Witch Project. 

(SIDENOTE 1: When I was in high school, parents had to write something great about their kids for the yearbook.  My mom didn’t know what to write, so I wrote my own.  Some girls in my class had told me they thought what my family wrote was really sweet.  For some stupid reason, I told them that I wrote it.  The look on their faces must have been like mine when I watched that second video.)

(SIDENOTE 2: When I saw The Blair Witch Project, I took a friend that did not know it was fake.  He was relatively unaffected by the flick, but the dude in front of me was freaking out when they found that eye, or tongue, whatever it was, wrapped in gauze.  Totally worth it for that.)

So back to the current disappointment.  At least this is real, right?

Happy Find… Turbo Heather X-Treme! (R/C Southern Belles)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Well I never!

That’s something Heather might have said if she was a talking doll.  Instead, she’s a radio-controlled Southern Belle that’s also available as a six mode blushing bride drifter.

The girls hug her!  The boys race her!

And she has a tornado of power under her dress, for Pabst’s sake!

(via Topless Robot)

Musical Musings… I Don’t Wanna But I Gotta: A New Literal Video

Posted on by sgottahurt

I was just discussing with my boss Paul that there needs to be a new literal video.  Universe asked… message received… dascottjr delivered.

I loved the previous creations by Dusto McNeato.  Check out his works here and here.  Although I feel the vocals are a bit better in his takes, you have to admit that Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart is ripe for the pickin’, and pick away they do.

Awful Battle… And The Academy Award For Overacting Goes To–

Posted on by sgottahurt

In real life, most of us have been fortunate enough to avoid problems such as

  • finding out from a letter that your spouse has cheated on you with somebody else’s spouse, but somebody killed them both
  • discovering somebody was getting killed while you were fumbling with music
  • or realizing that goblins* are going to eat you after they finish eating someone else?

So the bulk of us can understand how difficult it would be to try to act out one of those very same scenarios, with so little personal experience to build on. 

Where do you go inside yourself to uncover the characters’ motivation?  Do they teach workshops at the local community college?  Are there clips on YouTube that demonstrate what it takes?

Awful battle… GO!

*the film was called Troll 2, but it was about goblins.