Hibbidy-Wah?! There’s A World Record For That?!


I don’t know what would sex drive a man to beat this record, but I’ve got to hand it to this guy for sticking to something.  (I chose not to italicize the puns to give you a shot at picking them up.  It’s not that hard.)


In My Brain While Sleeping… Smoking Weed Where The Sun Don’t Shine

Sometimes I wish I could remember every dream I had, because the ones that I do… whew boy!  Where do they come from?

Last night was no exception.

If there was going to be a visual mash-up of ideas, it’d be best represented by this:

Something something America!

Something something America! AKA Freudians have fun!

Using the above graphic you should be able to ascertain the elements involved… so here’s the gist of the dream.

There was a grouping of triplets (is that how you’d refer to them?), and they were preparing to set a new Guinness World Record.  Grant it, the triplets in the dream were burnout dudes, but I figured why not put the Dahm sisters up because of their, um, patriotism.

The new record they were setting to create?  Who could stay the longest at the bottom of an active volcano.  The location they chose was Hawaii.  The seat of choice was their old green sofa.  The method they chose to pass the time was getting high.

The world was watching, they set the record, and became overnight celebrities.  They even ended up releasing an album with Kid Rock.

I wish I could tell you how long they stayed in the volcano, or that I could regale you with an anecdote of how the brothers lit their joints on molten lava, but I remember none of that.

What I do remember was the commemorative license plate they offered in the fine state of Hawaii:

(Fairly) Artisitic Representation... I'm getting better at this stuff if I do say so myself

(Fairly) Artistic Representation... I'm getting better at this stuff if I do say so myself

 INGREDIENTS: Four pints of $2 Guinness.  And water.

Happy Find… And They All Fall (Out Boy) Down

Last Friday, here in Detroit, Fall Out Boy broke the world record for most radio interviews by a pair in 24 hrs.  Their 58th call to 89X was the one that pushed them over.

So that got me thinking… how many other stupid records are out there?  Over the Halloween weekend, I visited my sister, Becky, in Chicago.  On the ride there, my cousin, Steve, and I got into a discussion about “Seinfeld,”  which inevitably lead to bringing up baked bean teeth.

All those chairs... and rope lights! Yum!

All those chairs... and rope lights! Yum!

Comme des hors d oeuvres

Comme des hors d oeuvres

Steve said he once knew of a man who had bean teeth, and he and his friends swore the man could eat a plane.  I didn’t get it, but he said some guy was in Guinness for eating an airplane, and he had bean teeth.  He said it took four months (in actuality, it took two years), but I was super-impressed because I pictured a 747 (in actuality, it was a Cessna 150).

Anywingsandall, my thirst to find more dumb things people will do to set a record intensified.  I planned to scour the web for hours or days (hey, maybe I could set that record), but then I found video of this.  

And that should do it for me.  This is why the only things people should try to break are accompanied by crashing sounds. 

(If you want to, you can check more stuff out here.)