Hibbidy-Wah?! Teenage Mutant Ninja Heartthrob?

I have been saving this video for awhile, waiting for the right time to post it.

Essentially, I having been saving myself for this lady.  This lady… of my heart.

(video after the jump… because it kept playing “Where’s Your Head At?” by Basement Jaxx automatically) Read More

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Drunken Recollection… Of The Cable Kind (Update)

(EMBARRASSING UPDATE: I was up for 24 hours.  I may have a problem…)
How I feel right now... just waiting for tomorrow's hangover.

How I feel right now... just waiting for tomorrow's hangover.

My daze is waning.  My day is fading.  I finally have high-speed access to the TripleDoubleU at home once again, and in addition to that, I’ve added cable to the package.

Mmmm, cable… it was one of the few things that got me out of the house besides trivia and drinking and sports and drinking.  My friends and family had it, and I’d often visit them to partake in its offerings.  I’ll miss them.

So far, I’ve caught up on back episodes of Survivor.  I’ve managed to get through The Onion Movie as well as Whacked Out Videos(gah!) on G4.  The latest: I’m finishing up the Top 100 One-Hit Wonders of the 80’s on VH1 Classic, even though I know the results of the list.  The reason being we discussed this the other day at the bar.

Other topics during recent bar trips:

Okay, well oddly, I don’t remember, because I didn’t really make a point to.  See, for the month of May, I’ve decided to give up my Mt. Dew, my booze, and my fast food.  Nine days in, I’m holding up quite well, although I’m not really seeing a difference (although I’m feeling it… every morning I feel like dancing great).  I am still being social and going out to the bars.  How else will I harass others into going out in the future if I cop out now?

So now I’ve decided upon watching the Spectacular Spider-Man on Disney XD (oh, yeah, that reminds me – I watched a bit of Chicken Little earlier today).  And I’m not sure what I’ll watch later. 

Oh!  They just showed a commercial for these, and I must admit, I’m tempted:

…stinking kids channels.  Me wanty bottle people and cereal box guitars.

Yippee Tracy Morgan! Boooo Kathie Lee!

Vodpod videos no longer available.Isn’t Kathie Lee Gifford such a scrumptious piece of heavenly delight?  Is not her sense of humor unmatched by the kings and queens and paupers of comedy?  Her comedic timing with Regis Philbin was impeccable, and often, she outshone him!  Even Tracy Morgan can’t keep up with her!  Amazing!

more about ““, posted with vodpod

 

 

(I pray that was a sufficient amount of sarcasm… I don’t have all day.)

(via Best Week Ever)

InASense, Lost… Vodka Tampons And Butt Beer Bongs

Chalk this one up in the category of “now I’ve seen everything.”  Necessity is the mother f-er of invention, and leave it to the people of this day and age to come up with this (or the children and kids, as the lead idiot doctor puts it):

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

 

Now, aside from the fact that this may or may not be something new to the scene, one aspect of consideration remains: Stupidly, who gave these stupid doctors a show?  (<— In reference to random ethnic lady doc’s double vag comment… hilarious!  No?  Oh, well.)

One of my friends from back in the day, John, put it best.  At a Halloween party on U of M’s campus, one of our mutual friend’s roommates – who was a space aeronautics and astrophysics student, mind you – decided to streak around the block.  John’s observation: “I guess it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be a rocket scientist.”  Check and mate!

(via Best Week Ever)

JusWondering… S#!% Misses The Fans (And The Drummer)

In the many, many random discussions I have with friends and family, there’s one I had awhile ago that I can’t quite shake.

Over the course of the ramblings (mind you, these topics flowed seamlessly into each other somehow), my cousin, Steve, and I touched upon Vh1’s “Freakiest Concert Moments,” wearing plastic training pants in a strip club, and how to go about renting a steamroller.

About the Vh1 special: Apparently, some band made a bet with their manager and he lost, or they won (I cannot find this story anywhere… plus I cannot watch Vh1 – except for “Surreal Life”).  Anythewho, the manager (or agent) had to hang upside down over the drummer nude during the show.  The band forgot about him and by the time they remembered, he had passed out.  I was expecting the tale to end with his eyes shooting out of his head, or to discover he suffered some serious brain damage (more than the drugs that caused the bet to go through ever could).  The true finale is even better.  He had passed out quite early during the show because he was trying to shit on the drummer to get his attention.  He tried so hard it made him pass out.

I tried to imagine how one might go about shitting while upside down.  You would obviously have to try to grab your ankles, right?  In order to aim down?  Because the last thing you’d want to experience while hanging upside down in the buff is to feel a trail of your own crap running up your back and into your hair.  I’m just saying.

(The rest of this exciting JusWondering to follow later… And if anyone has a clue which rock band this happened to, please comment below!)

Gary Busey R.O.C.K.S.

Dr. Drew used to be somewhat of a hero of mine. Along with Adam Carolla and the beautiful Diane Farr, he hosted one of the rare shows I used to watch on MTV called “Loveline.” The two nuggets of knowledge dropped on me that have stuck are:

1) If you’re prone to lockjaw ladies (presumably from stepping on rusty nails?), then there’s always the side slide. (Thanks to Julie Benz for that one, and her unforgetable pantomimed presentation! You know Julie currently from Showtime’s “Dexter” and “Rambo,” formerly from “Jawbreaker,” and always from my memories.)

2) If a girl talks with a squeaky voice as an adult, she was molested as a kid. Hilarious!

(SIDENOTE: Whatever happened to “BuzzKill,” MTV? Just because Dave, Frank, and Travis disrupted the beach house, it doesn’t mean they never existed!)

Dr. Drew’s latest endeavor is the second season of Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Gary Busey’s in it, and he R.O.C.K.S. (Really Opens Cans of Kickass Seriously)

Here’s a sneak peek at the wisdom he’s there to share (a Busey-ism, if you will… cuz he does):

The word S.O.B.E.R… that stands for Son Of a Bitch, Everything’s Real

Click here for video. (From VH1)

If that’s not working, this is an equal treat: