Drunken Recollection… “He Was Orange, I Tell Ya, Orange!”

I haven’t gotten mad – well, pissed, actually – while playing live bar trivia in a long time.  So long, in fact, I can’t even think of the last instance.

This time, the question in question involved these two chaps:

Aaah, the good ol' days of cartoons based on video games...

The inquiry was a two-parter that went like so:

What color was Q*bert?  And what color was Clyde the Ghost in Pac-Man?

I knew it instantly, and handed the answer in first.  I watched each of the above terrible cartoons as a child, and I knew it with every power pellet of my being.

So the results were revealed, and we were the ONLY team out of ten to get it right, and we received the maximum amount of bonus points for doing so.

We were in first place at the half, and about three questions into the second round, the announcer shared this:

It has come to our attention that Clyde was also red, so everyone gets bonus points.

What. The. @!#?@!? (Q*bert shout-out!)

According to the “ever-reliable” Wikipedia:

Enemy Color
Original Pac Man
American Pac-Man
Character (Personality)
Translation
Nickname
Translation
Character (Personality)
Nickname
Red
Oikake (追いかけ)
chaser
Akabei (赤ベイ)
red guy
Shadow
Blinky
Pink
Machibuse (待ち伏せ)
ambusher
Pinky (ピンキー)
pink guy
Speedy
Pinky
Cyan
Kimagure (気まぐれ)
fickle
Aosuke (青助)
blue guy
Bashful
Inky
Orange
Otoboke (お惚け)
stupid
Guzuta (愚図た)
slow guy
Pokey
Clyde

This is Clyde’s Wikia page:

Orange you glad I didn't say red?

But apparently, this excerpt is why the additional points were granted:

After an error in Pac-Man World 2, describing Blinky as orange and Clyde as red, all other World series games place Clyde as the red ghost and elevate him to the rank of leader of the ghost gang.

—-This is nothing more than an error that was forced into being reused.—-

Namco aside from the World series and Arrangement has always called Clyde the orange ghost.

So it was a wording issue.  If the announcer had added “in the original arcade game,” we would have been set.

We still wouldn’t have won the entire trivia game, but we would have been the only ones right.

(SIDENOTE: The team that fought for this said our team sucked once they too were awarded bonus points.  Well, they can go @!#?@!? themselves because they didn’t win either.  Nyah.)

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Drunken Recollection… “Swipe It Like A Credit Card” (AKA “You Might Scream 4 This”)

(Photo courtesy of Amy's quickness with the clicks)

Scream 4 is filming (for some reason) in Plymouth, Michigan (for some reason), and I had no idea as I made my way to the bar to play trivia (for some reason).

Anydewey, as I passed the set piece above, I didn’t pay too much mind since I was being trailed by a Plymouth cop (I had to hide my cell phone courtesy of a new law).  While at trivia, the team I was playing with consisted of some new members, so job talk was brought up, and the birth of this phrase was born (I think it makes a great rap song hook):

Swipe it like a credit card…

The job it referenced:

Border Patrol Agent

Well, one specific act:

I let you connect the dots.

So back to trivia…  talk of Scream 4 began, and I connected the dots.  So after the game, a group of us headed over to the Woodsboro Police Station, and I readied to snap a photo.  But then some teen rent-a-cops yelled that I couldn’t.  And for some reason, I listened.  Afterward, I wished I had said something like:

I’m using Google Goggles to see what this place used to be.

But I didn’t.

And it’s not like they had any authority to swipe it like a credit card…

Drunken Recollection… News At The Speed Of Twitter

Last night, while playing trivia at the bar (natch), a question came up (natch) that we made an educated guess on (unnatch… we usually guess blindly).

The question in question:

In what year was the stamp first used:

  • 1640
  • 1780
  • 1860
  • 1910
True story. Also explains BGP... ("Beer Goggle Phenomenon")

True story. Also explains BGP... ("Beer Goggle Phenomenon")

Since my intelligence increases exponentially with the amount of alcohol intook (intaked? intaken? I’m not drunk enough to know this right now!), I stumbled upon a method of deduction.

In ye days of ole, peasants probably wouldn’t speak to each other via any other method but their mouth or fastest son.  Maybe a carrier pigeon if they figured that bit out.  And monarchs had messengers, as did this country’s forefathers.  Remember, they had that whole bit about wax seals (not to be confused with wax walruses).

So we talked and chatted it up.  WWI would be way to late, and it seemed like the Old West would have had mail.  Then it struck me – The Pony Express!  I didn’t know what year they were around, but 1860 sounded ’bout right.  And lo!  ‘Twas!

We hooted and hollered it up and guessed performed well the remainder of the game… until Doc Holliday tripped us up.  Actually, it was Satine.  From the movie Moulin Rouge!  (The producer’s exclamation point – not mine.)  We could not for the love of the game of trivia think of tuberculosis, as in “What did she die from?”  We knew Doc had it, and maybe Walt Kowalski had it, but alas, we did not get it.  Farewell sweet $100…

But I digress. All of the above is not what this post was supposed to be all about.  I know it is so far, but bear with me.  This is about a little unexpected experiment that occurred after trivia, and it ties in with the Pony Express.

This took me way longer to make than I would have liked.  Speaking of which - do you like?

This took me way longer to make than I would have liked. Speaking of which - do you like?

Right after the game, my friend and I thought it would be funny to put on Twitter that he and his girlfriend (whom was sitting beside him) had broken up.  Not even a minute after posting it via my lovely iPhone (it’s just a 3G, not a 3GS – don’t H8), each of their phones were blowing up.  Followers Friends on Twitter asked for details and offered denials.  It was amazing.

Okay, I guess the bulk of this post was about the Pony Express after all.

(Sorry Sue about all the damage control, but remember what I do is in the name of comedy, whether people find it funny or not!)

No wonder Twitter Bird is so fast!

No wonder Twitter Bird is so fast!

JusWondering… Does Beer Make Me Smarter?

Sure… during my month of not boozing, I might have woke up each morning with an extra bounce in my step, but at work, more mistakes were made and more things were forgotten.  Yeah, it’s possible I slept better or longer (courtesy of passing out) during the many sauced months that came before, or that the heaped upon hours I spent in front of the boob tube boobed out my noggin and rendered my work performance lackluster.

So I started to wonder… maybe I’m smarter under the influence.  I do play a lot of trivia at the bar, and maybe that’s like running with ankle-weights for my brain.  Research ensued and I discovered this headline:

Whuuuuhhh?!

Whuuuuhhh?!

Dost thine eyes deceive, um, me?

From the BBC article:

Mice fed moderate quantities of alcohol grew extra brain cells, but also showed a preference for alcohol over water.

Lead researcher Professor Stefan Brene said: “We believe that the increased production of new nerve cells during moderate alcohol consumption can be important for the development of alcohol addiction and other long-term effects of alcohol on the brain.”

Okay, maybe it doesn’t sound perfectly fantastic – or does it?  

Alternatively, the extra cells might help with learning and memory, [Brene] said.  Another theory, according to the researchers, is that the tranquilising effect of alcohol triggers the growth.  All of the new cells developed normally.

My favorite line:

A spokeswoman from the Campaign for Real Ale said: “It is well known that alcohol in moderation is good for your body so it’s no surprise it’s also good for your mind.  “Maybe that is why lots of pub quiz teams are so bright.”

Some other favorite lines… from The Legend of Bagger Vance:

Rannulph Junnah: Now, the question on the table is how drunk is drunk enough? And the answer is that it’s all a matter of brain cells
Hardy Greaves: Brain cells?
Rannulph Junnah: That’s right Hardy. You see every drink of liquor you take kills a thousand brain cells. Now that doesn’t much matter ‘cos we got billions more. And first the sadness cells die so you smile real big. And then the quiet cells go so you just say everything real loud for no reason at all. That’s ok, that’s ok because the stupid cells go next, so everything you say is real smart. And finally, come the memory cells. These are tough sons of bitches to kill.

And then there’s always Cliff Clavin’s take:

Well you see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Drunken Recollection… Drips Ahoy!

There has been a Drunken Recollection I’ve been meaning to get to for awhile, but the moment has passed and the recollection is fuzzier than it ever was.  My notes on the matter:

  • Frois grois was typed as a note in my phone, which is actually foie gras… it was a conversation I had with my sister, Tammie, about how ducks and geese are force-fed to fatten up their livers.  I never heard of it, but apparently it’s getting banned in various states courtesy of animal activists.  I have no opinion or witty quip on the matter now – if I did then, consider it “pissed away.”
  • Another thing my sister brought up was an artist she knows that wrote the saying, “War leads to Poverty, Poverty leads to Peace, Peace leads to Greed, Greed leads to War.”  Man, were we in a bummy mood that night.*
  • The only light highlight was a comment from my observant sibling.  On Friday, I missed out on homemade macaroni and cheese at my old grade school because they ran out.  On Sunday, I missed hanging out with an old friend downtown at a place that serves the best homemade macaroni and cheese.  Tammie said, “This was your Mac and Cheese Denial weekend.”

Now onto the most current D.R.  It occurred at a private boat club in Wyandotte, where the usual crew set out to play an exclusive game of trivia.  There were cash prizes to be had – $50 for 1st, $30 for 2nd, and $10 for 3rd.

I arrived first, and its location reminded me of a scene in a movie where people that need to exchange a suitcase full of money, a nuclear warhead, or “whatever’s-in-the-trunk” would meet.

Inside, I had to knock on the port door to be let in.  Then I had to sign a book.  All the old regulars surrounded the bar, and all they served was beer in cans that had that faint odor of old ice.  I ordered my can and sat my can at the table near the window overlooking Lake Erie.

The others arrived and we decided to split into two teams (the better to win more money – which we did, natch!)  We quickly learned that the regulars weren’t too fond of us being there, and, oh yeah – there was a certain spot at the bar you had to order from.  The bartender could look right at you standing anywhere else and he’d look through you.

We ended up drinking enough to build a beer can pyramid, a.k.a. a beeramid, which made the regulars mad.  We each walked out with an extra five bucks each and our tab paid back.  All-in-all, I will never return there again.  Maybe.

In closing, I also learned that cenosillicaphobia meant “fear of an empty beer glass” and that I am cenosillicaphobic.

Not pictured: our beeramid. This is based on a true story.

Not pictured: our beeramid. This is based on a true story.

*Okay, I was completely (well not completely) off on the quote.  It’s from a folk song and her fiancé’s uncle wrote it down and framed it:

ALL IN A NUT SHELL

War begets poverty
Poverty peace
Peace begets wealth
Wealth beget pride
Pride is war’s ground
War begets poverty

So the world goes round

Drunken Recollection… Politically Incorrect Answer

Last night at trivia, we blew it.  We blew it big time.  Out of a possible 73 points, we had 65 – and that’s a rarity (high 50’s are usual).  We could have actually scored higher if I would have went with my gut instincts of Applebee’s (“Where did Plaxico Burress say he shot himself?”) and goat (“From what animal does cashmere wool come from?”), as opposed to Denny’s and sheep.

But the last question… it’s all political correctness’ fault.

Prior to President Barack Obama, who was the last African-American to be recognized as Time Magazine’s Man Person of the Year?

Person of the Year? As opposed to alien?

Person of the Year? As opposed to alien?

nelsonmandelaidi_aminWe put: Nelson Mandela

We even thoughtIdi Amin.

We didn’t think of this guy, because we didn’t go back in time that far:

mlktime

But in reality, African-American has become so synonymous with Black in this country, we didn’t even consider the American part.

Oh well.  We didn’t win even though we were in first place before the final question (you wager your points à la Final Jeopardy).  But I did steal a cool NFL glass from the bar.  It had all the team logos covering it.  Suckas!*

*KARMA SIDENOTE: When I was dropped off at home, I realized my wallet was missing.  I figured I had left it at the bar.  Since I planned on taking the glass pretty early in my drinking, I focused mostly on that task, and found it fitting I abandoned my Billabong billfold at the scene of the crime.  Turns out I dropped it in my friend’s car.  But for a second, I learned my lesson.

JusWondering… Whatever Happened To Jazzercise?

I stopped by the video store I used to work at last night to visit my brother, Scott, (and to pick up Friday the 13th: Parts 1 and 2 ‘natch).  As I looked around, I kind of missed the old joint.  And it wasn’t so much the unlimited access to all the DVD’s (considering I have way more than enough at home), but it was the strange things that used to happen there.

One common occurrence was us workers would be talking about some random old film, and shortly thereafter someone would return that exact film.  There are plenty of things I could go on about, but maybe I’ll save that for another post.

I stopped by on my way to soccer, and my sister’s fiance Will (the Monk Lookalike) happened to be up there at the same time.  Weird.

My old friend and former manager, Crystal, brought up the fact she stumbled upon pictures of a trip a huge group of us took to Chicago years and years ago.  A few days ago, the very same trip was brought up by some of the others that been on it.  Kinda weird.

As I was walking out, some dude was looking at the Coming Attractions booklet that’s stacked on the end of the counter.  Our exchange:

Dude – “Dude, I can’t believe it’s coming out.”

Crystal, Scott, and I keep talking to each other.

Dude – “I knew it was going to be called Still Waiting.  It’s coming right to DVD.”

Me – “So you’re still waiting for Still Waiting.”

Dude gave me the thumbs up.  He showed me this picture:

...Let's wait someplace else...

...Let's wait someplace else...

I laughed.  “I thought Still Waiting was a suspense movie, like (*spooky voice*) Stiiiilllll Waaaaaiiitttiiinnggg.  Not the sequel.”  Scott and Crystal laughed, and I went on my merry way.

(SIDENOTE: Weird things happen all the time if you pay attention.  Another example occurred a couple days ago.  I passed this store named “NEVETS” and I realized it was STEVEN backwards.  This made me think of my cousin, and how he’s been watching old “Twilight Zone” episodes lately.  Right after that, the radio played the show’s theme in a commercial.)

twilight-zone

How many times do I have to tell you to CLEAN THIS ROOM UP!

(ANOTHER SIDENOTE: At trivia the other night, I teased my friend, Devin, who was hosting the game, by calling my team, “I’ll Be Teaching Jazzercise after the Show.”  His clothing choices were a bit 80’s, so when he had to announce our name, it made us laugh.  But it spooked the ladies who were playing at the table next to us.  Our exchange:

Lady – “That was you guys who made that name?”

Me – “Yeah, because of how Devin’s dressed.”

Lady (pointing to her friend) – “We thought it was because we just joined a Jazzercise group, and had our first class earlier tonight.”  At which point she opened her coat to reveal her Jazzercise logo emblazoned t-shirt.

You got to love the Symphony of Life.)

jazzercise

Come on and shake that azz for me, shake that azz for me!