Drunken Recollection… Grade School Crushologue

Take a step into the barley and hops time machine with, while I recount my early crushes… in poem – I mean, rap:

Trini Alvarado in Altman’s “Rich Kids”/ 
Young Madison in “Splash” when they were just kids/
Princess Leia ridin’ on Jabba’s dirt skiff/
New Leave It to Beaver’s niece, Kaleena Kiff/
Got a little older with Mathilda May/
F-ed up in the head, crushin’ on Lady Jaye/
Jami Gertz was sure one hot Solarbaby/
Kim Cattrall was a doll from Egypt, baby/
Babysit with that babe, Elisabeth Shue/
Debbie Gibson brought love from outta the blue/
Amanda Peterson learned that love is free/
Brooke Theiss… Jamie Luner… how ’bout just us three/
Amy Dolenz is da bomb outta control/
…Still a little f-ed up for diggin’ Ariel…

(I tried to find pictures of them all, but I decided Google image searching kids might not be a smart idea.)