Drunken Recollection… What I Can Remember About Camping This Summer

gijoesquirrel

Don't worry. This happened during squirrel season.

With summer finally over, it’s time for me to drunken recollect some of my camping highlights.  Outside of drinking, eating, being in the water, being on the pontoon, drinking, eating, sitting by the campfire, beach volleyball, drinking, eating, and peeing in the water, this is all I can remember:

1) A squirrel fell out of a tree.
It happened in front of a few of my family members as they were walking.  When they reached to check on the immobile rodent, it sprung back to consciousness and took off.

2) Some cyclist had this shirt on, as well as a bushy beard:

A Whopper of a beard, in fact...

A Whopper of a beard, in fact...

3) There was a plan to tie me to a chair if I passed out drunk.
It didn’t happen on the earlier summer trip, but it did happen.  At least the dumping me in the lake didn’t.

4) I pulled a boat via a rope in my teeth.
There is a picture out there I do not possess.  I do remember my jawline aching, though.

5) There was a strange song playing on the iPod we took out to the sandbar.
Turned out it was from the film, Music and Lyrics.  Here it is for your, um, pleasure?

6) In closing…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

In My Brain While Sleeping… So Long, Tiny Zebra And Tiny Cougar, I Will Miss You

I don’t know of any better way to convey this oddity of a dream that stuck with me.  So here it is chronologically.  Now with 100% more pictures!

cruisecopter

I started off on a cruise ship that went to an island (of course), and I took a helicopter out to sea.

 

 

Dramatization (not an actual plier-mouthed porpoise)

Dramatization (not an actual plier-mouthed porpoise)

And because I was afraid of heights (from being in the helicopter), I jumped into ocean, hitched on ride on tandem jet ski, and saw huge porpoises with wrench-like teeth and giant dolphins leaping  over row boats and other jet skis.

 

 

 

 

simplemathOnce I reached dry land found, I found a tiny zebra and a tiny cougar (both were pocket-sized).

 

deepimpactI carried them around we me (in my pockets, natch) until I witnessed a tsunami coming ashore from opposite directions.

 

bedpanThen it suddenly turned into “real life” and I was at one of my company’s clients that sells medical equipment.  I gave my tiny zebra and my tiny cougar to their employees, so they could be cared for.

 

 

hamburgerdressI ended up finding out that the medical supplier had started manufacturing meat products out of zebras and cougars in general, so I narc’d reported them to the authorities.  

 

 

 

roadkillI thought they were marketing the meat as ‘hamburger,’ but in fact, they were selling it as ‘wild game’ to a restaurant near my office.

 

 

INGREDIENTS: Jellybean Nerds and Mountain Dew