she’s a beauty

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… I Didn’t Know That Song Was About Strippers!

Posted on by sgottahurt

This is a post that I might have written back in 2006 is I had a blog.  Man, I’d be worth thousands if I had a blog back then…

I haven’t heard this song in quite a long time, and I knew so little about it, I always thought it was by Chicago.  I also considered it a love song about a special “one-in-a-million” girl since I heard it originally back in 1983.

The song in question – The Tubes’ She’s a Beauty:

But just like how my reality was shattered in high school when I realized two things that took me way too long to figure out:

  1. There’s no way gum can stick to your ribs if you swallow it!
  2. When Mommy was caught kissing Santa Claus, that was Daddy dressed as Santa Claus!

I just realized this song is about strippers!  Or at least a girl in a peep show.  Two key lyrics I didn’t catch until now:

She’s right here behind the glass/
And you’re gonna like her ’cause she’s got class.

She’ll give you every penny’s worth/
But it will cost you a dollar first.

WEIRD THINGS ABOUT THE VIDEO

JusWondering… Do The Kids Even Know What A Record Scratch Is Anymore?

Posted on by sgottahurt

There’s a commercial that plays here in Detroit which uses the record scratch sound to express a shock.   I can’t recall the product or manufacturer to present an example, but for those of you born in the *gulp* 90’s, the sound occurs at the 0:52 mark in this excellent mash-up:

iTod Meet Coaster Spinner With Weird Arm Thingee?

iTod Meet Coaster Spinner With Weird Arm Thingee?

And I’m being serious here.  Why would any modern advertisement resort to such an out-dated cliche?  I’m sure the writers thought they were being funny (as I often do and fail miserably), but a record scratch?  A RECORD SCRATCH?

Here’s some other things I’ve been JusWondering about:

1) In the song, Only Wanna Be With You, does Hootie cry about the Miami Dolphins, or about “the dolphins” in general (since he’s friends with “the Blowfish,” you see)?

2) Is l33t speak still called that?  Because it seems kinda like that term’s jumped the shark?

3) Has the term jumped the shark nuked the fridge?

4) Is it just me, or shouldn’t She’s a Beauty totally be a song by Chicago or at least Peter Cetera, instead of The Tubes?  It should have been in Mannequin, too.  (Was it in that?)

Kim Cattrall's finest performance

Kim Cattrall’s stiffest performance

5) Much ballyhoo has been made about Conan O’Brien being a neophyte in L.A., but didn’t he live there when he wrote for The Simpsons?  (Boom!  Research!  He lived there when he wrote for HBO’s Not Necessarily the News… No specifics on his home whilst he was on his Homer bender, but I’m still pretty sure he was at least in Hollywood.  Turn that ballyhoo into boo!)