InASense, Lost… It’s Already Been A Dozen Years

The 1990’s.

They finished twelve years ago.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.

Some of the stuff in this video happened twenty years ago:

Microchips, microwaves, faxes, airplane phones, Hammertime, monthly visitors, witches were women, Cinderella would talk deals on her cellular phone and throw her wicked step sisters into the pool, people kissed, girlfriends had girlfriends, parents discussed sex with their children – or not, you would say something cool before you hit someone in the face, unnecessary litigation…

Anybody miss the hair?

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/29455771]

(via)

Advertisements

Drunken Recollection… The Difference Between Wants And Needs

I learned a couple new things about myself the other night, courtesy of pouring fermented hops down my throat, of course.  Discoveries are rare as they are, so here are my findings.

There Are Things That I Want

Such as t-shirts that broadcast products that I like…

mtndewtshirt

Hey ladies, guess what I drink?

seinfeldtshirt

Hey ladies, guess what I've watched?

And There Are Things That I Need

Such as definitely bullhorns on my Honda Civic…

civicbull

Drunken Recollection… The Empire Snuggies Back

In the middle of the night, a strange cough – that sounded distinctly male – startled me awake.  I was passed out in a queen-size bed with my cousin Steve.  We were in a hotel in New York City recovering from a long day of travelling and a longer night of drinking. 

…And we were each wearing a Snuggie.

 

EPISODE V
THE EMPIRE SNUGGIES BACK

The pub crawl on which the trip was focused was starting at noon.  It was ten when we started moving.  Steve kept mentioning how well he felt; I kept quiet about how much I was not.  We had set our sights on getting back to East Village by noon, but our first mission was to stop at the store to buy a vital item.

Steve called them safety pins; I referred to them as diaper pins.  Steve thought we could find them at Staples; I thought that was funny.  To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if they were still made.  Was there a need for diaper pins anymore?  (Safety pins?  Maybe.)  And why did we need them?  We each had grown fond of our Snuggies and didn’t want to ruin them.  (Oh, and we ended up finding some at Walgreen’s.  They weren’t by the baby supplies, but amazingly, condoms were.  Hmm.)

We had a plan to carry the three Snuggies we possessed in a backpack, and to don them as required (the third was Mike’s – another friend that was coming in from DC for his birthday).  It was New York though, and we probably could have worn them the entire way from Midtown, but… well, I don’t have a clever excuse.  I guess we weren’t 100% convinced the Snuggie Pub Crawl was real, and didn’t want to be left out in the cold heat (it was such a nice day… 70+ degrees).

Our first stop was the sign-up location.  We had purchased four tickets in advance (even though we thought it might not be real we used credit card information on the web… go figure), and on the train ride over, Steve verified the first bar stop on those four tickets.  When we arrived at the sign-up, Steve checked his pockets.

“I have some bad news.”  Apparently, somewhere between checking them on the subway and walking to this bar, the printed up sheets fell out and blew away.  We weighed our options.  We thought of alternatives.  They guy told us we needed tickets, and we didn’t want to have to purchase them again.  Luckily, he accepted viewing the receipts on my iPhone, gave us four tickets and four cups (Tim from Episode IV would be also joining us), and we arrived at our first official spot:

Bar None: The Fun Begins

Bar None: The Fun Begins

Now properly attired in our blankets with sleeves and with full crew in tow, the drinking began.  The three of them were off in a mad dash, but I was limping.  Mike put it best:

The days that start off slow very often end in a hurry.

Now I’ll let some pictures do the talking.

img_0056img_0057img_0061img_0063img_0065

Needless to say – some drinks were poured, some drinks were spilled, some conversation was had, and the Yankees got blown out by the Indians!  All-in-all, the crawl was a success.  But the night was not yet finished…

———————————————————————–

Over the course of the day, I had received information about a secret place.  The specifications were these:

  • It was a hot dog joint in Manhattan.
  • This hot dog joint had a “secret bar” located within it.
  • To access this “secret bar” you had to enter a phone booth and pick up the receiver to enter.
  • The location I was texted stated: 113 St Marks Pl

Here’s where my hubris caused an issue (and maybe drinking… maybe).  I thought I understood the lay the island, and I took the location to mean “113 St. @ Marks Place”… not what it said.  And the little torn brochure map I carried with me cut off around 110 St. at the the top, so how could I be wrong?  Birthday boy Mike passed out at Tim’s place (near East Village), and Steve, Tim, and I made our drunken way out to the fictional 113 St. and Marks Place.

The taxi driver didn’t even correct us, and brought us to 113 St. and Broadway, way up on the west end.  As I approached the waterfront, I stumbled into a closing bakery.

“Excuse me, do you know where Marks Place is?”

The confused baker answered, “He probably lives down by the river.”

As we brewed and stewed and reviewed my mistake, something caught my eye down the road.  It wasn’t a wasted trip after all!  This is where we had a late night burger before returning to home base (to pass out in our dirty Snuggies in a queen-size bed):

img_0068

"Doo doo doo doo, doo doo-doo-doo..." - Suzanne Vega / "Tippy toes, tippy toes, tippy toes!" - George Costanza

Happy Find… And They All Fall (Out Boy) Down

Last Friday, here in Detroit, Fall Out Boy broke the world record for most radio interviews by a pair in 24 hrs.  Their 58th call to 89X was the one that pushed them over.

So that got me thinking… how many other stupid records are out there?  Over the Halloween weekend, I visited my sister, Becky, in Chicago.  On the ride there, my cousin, Steve, and I got into a discussion about “Seinfeld,”  which inevitably lead to bringing up baked bean teeth.

All those chairs... and rope lights! Yum!

All those chairs... and rope lights! Yum!

Comme des hors d oeuvres

Comme des hors d oeuvres

Steve said he once knew of a man who had bean teeth, and he and his friends swore the man could eat a plane.  I didn’t get it, but he said some guy was in Guinness for eating an airplane, and he had bean teeth.  He said it took four months (in actuality, it took two years), but I was super-impressed because I pictured a 747 (in actuality, it was a Cessna 150).

Anywingsandall, my thirst to find more dumb things people will do to set a record intensified.  I planned to scour the web for hours or days (hey, maybe I could set that record), but then I found video of this.  

And that should do it for me.  This is why the only things people should try to break are accompanied by crashing sounds. 

(If you want to, you can check more stuff out here.)