InASense, Lost… Burger King Kills, But Not Like You Think

Okay, this one I get:

"I told you already... they don't have Happy Meals here."

And this one is clever (even though the glove is on the – NERD ALERT! – wrong hand):

"Did you want fried face with that?"

This one took a second glance to figure out he had mustard on his gown.  Smock.  Robe?  I think I like “smock”…

Burger King really does put a lot of mustard on their burgers.

But something about this ad bothers me:

Haha, ha-- I don't get it.

The other ‘verts border on – dare I say it – cutesiness, whereas this one actually contains a deceased body in it.  And not just any body, but a cheerleader.  And not just a cheerleader, but a young lady in a strangely selected position.

It’s simply… tasteless overkill.  And not in this (have it your) way:

More than a mouthful is truly a waist... grower...

(The campaign is a foreign one.  Wonder if that has anything to do with it…)

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Both Of These Vampire Spoofs May Suck

Just for clarification: Coinkydink = yes, it’s a coincidence.  Coinkydonk = no, that sh– is on purpose.

I’m a fan of the old days when spoofs were actually quality works, and a noble genre in it’s own right.  Early Mel Brooks and Zucker Brothersfilms are often sited as classics, but lest we not forget, um, nope, there’s nobody else.  Satire is a dying form, mostly because it requires intelligence blah blah blah highbrow chitter-chatter… onto the jokes, man.  No seriously, I have never seen a joke on this blog since it started last October.

So speaking of October and spoofs, what about comedy-horror films?  For every Young Frankenstein, there’s a Love at First Bite.  For every Transylvania 6-5000, there’s a Dracula: Dead and Loving It.  For every Saturday the 14th, there’s a Saturday the 14th Strikes Back.  And for every Scream, there’s more than enough Scary Movies.

So now we have two more vampire-themed “comedies” heading our way, and it’s Round 189 in “Hollywood’s Run Out Of Ideas So Let’s Make Two Versions Of The Same Movie And Have Them Compete Against Each Other.” 

Examples of previous rounds:

  • Paul Blart: Mall Cop / Observe and Report
  • Armageddon / Deep Impact
  • Volcano / Dante’s Peak
  • Madagascar / The Wild
  • The Truman Show / Ed TV
  • A Bug’s Life / Antz
  • The Prestige / The Illusionist
  • Tombstone / Wyatt Earp

The latest entries to the list are Transylmania and Stan Helsing (srsly).  Here are their trailers:

The Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk-nesscomes down to this simple question: Do studios release similar movies against each other on accident (dink!) or on purpose (donk!)?

JusWondering… Obama’s President! Why Don’t I Feel Any Different?

Hmm… today doesn’t feel too much different than yesterday… or two days ago.

I guess there is a slightly better taste in my mouth, like I used Plax before brushing, but have yet to put paste to gums.  Barack Obama is now acting President, and I thought his speech was well-played.  All the hope swung around like a fly-swatter at a barbeque during his acceptence speech was downplayed into a reality-based, looking forward, we-have-to-work-together memorandum that I hope didn’t fall on any deaf ears.

We live in a country where very few think about anyone but themselves, and sometimes even those that do think of others, from time to time, need to be reminded to do so.  Everyone’s too busy trying to keep up with the Joneses, when they haven’t even walked next door to introduce themselves (metaphorically speaking).

Anyhighhorse, on with the alleged comedy…

Was anyone else worried that this guy had a bomb strapped under his chair, and that he would scream, “I’m going to hell, and I’m taking all of you with me!” followed by  the Howard Dean yelp?

"FDR was a wuss," he might be thinking.

"FDR was a wuss," he might be thinking.

I also began to wonder if you stared at the crowd that formed, might you see underwater images, like in those 3D pics that were popular years ago?

Stare... keep staring...

Stare... keep staring...

...and voila (kinda)!

...and voila (kinda)!

JusWondering… Movie Choices That Make Me Go Hmmm…

Why is it so difficult for TV stars to make a successful transition into film?  Is it that we, the viewers, the fans, the general public, have spent so much time with them, that we can’t believe them unless they’ve been typecast?

Hang ups, like a pocket full of Kryptonite!

Hang ups? More like a pocket full of Kryptonite! the clearance bin at Walmart the clearance bin at Walmart

Nah – I just think they have shitty agents.  Why else would “Friends” star, and former painkiller addict, Matthew Perry, be in this —>

Academy Award winner and star of the ever shitty “Mad About You,” Helen Hunt, gets to star in crap like this <—

(FYI – Cousin Ira was okay, in a Balki sort of way.)

After Prop 8, both ways are wrong

After Prop 8, both ways are wrong

As soon as you move your hand lower... lower...

As soon as you move your hand lower... lower...

Is this as good as it gets?  (Sadly for this blog – yes.)  Ask “Ellen” star, um, Ellen Degeneres if she has any regrets about this little diddy from back in the day —>

 Poor, cutesy, chipmunky Neve Campbell, formerly of “Party of Five” (and I’ll at least give her “Scream”) has something on her mind <—

And as an added bonus… who the hell knows where Leelee Sobieski came from, but she has one simple request:

Done and done.

Done and done.