Tonight is the sixth season premiere of The Hills, and I hate to admit this but the show fascinates me.
It’s not like a car wreck or guilty pleasure kind of thing… The best analogy I can think of is that it’s hypnotic like a campfire.
You watch the flames move around without rhyme, reason, or purpose, sucking in the oxygen, destroying that from which it springs. When two logs strike each other, sparks fly. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy because you know you’re safe, and far from burning in the random pointlessness of the hot embers. You enjoy marshmallows on chocolate in between graham crackers.
And that’s the very essence that Late Night With Jimmy Fallon captures in their spoof series, 7th Floor West. So grab some mini marshmallows and a box of Teddy Grahams and click the image to link to the campyfire that is Jimmy Fallon’s 7th Floor West (all the episodes):
Jimmy and ZOMG! He's with Whitney Port from "The City"!
Just for clarification: Coinkydink = yes, it’s a coincidence. Coinkydonk = no, that sh– is on purpose.
I’m a fan of the old days when spoofs were actually quality works, and a noble genre in it’s own right. Early Mel Brooks and Zucker Brothersfilms are often sited as classics, but lest we not forget, um, nope, there’s nobody else. Satire is a dying form, mostly because it requires intelligence blah blah blah highbrow chitter-chatter… onto the jokes, man. No seriously, I have never seen a joke on this blog since it started last October.
So speaking of October and spoofs, what about comedy-horror films? For every Young Frankenstein, there’s a Love at First Bite. For every Transylvania 6-5000, there’s a Dracula: Dead and Loving It. For every Saturday the 14th, there’s a Saturday the 14th Strikes Back. And for every Scream, there’s more than enough Scary Movies.
So now we have two more vampire-themed “comedies” heading our way, and it’s Round 189 in “Hollywood’s Run Out Of Ideas So Let’s Make Two Versions Of The Same Movie And Have Them Compete Against Each Other.”
Examples of previous rounds:
Paul Blart: Mall Cop / Observe and Report
Armageddon / Deep Impact
Volcano / Dante’s Peak
Madagascar / The Wild
The Truman Show / Ed TV
A Bug’s Life / Antz
The Prestige / The Illusionist
Tombstone / Wyatt Earp
The latest entries to the list are Transylmania and Stan Helsing (srsly). Here are their trailers:
The Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk-nesscomes down to this simple question: Do studios release similar movies against each other on accident (dink!) or on purpose (donk!)?
I never got into either MySpace or Facebook. The trendiness didn’t appeal to me (and for the record, I was into Twitter before the huge Twitstorm hit… luckily, it’s subsiding).
So it wouldn’t and shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to create a comparably named forum to mock the uncouth denizens of , and it didn’t (as far as I know).
Introducing (unless you’ve already met) Lamebook, where the h8rs can h8t freely, without having a Facebook account, courtesy of h8rs that have Facebook accounts.
From the entry titled, "That Sucks"
This is a mere sampling of a sampling. I don’t know whether I dodged a bullet, or I’m missing the gunfight, but for now, I’ll stick to Lamebook(even though it’s one of the rare websites I happily found that doesn’t have the word “fuck” in the title).
When I begin to investigate the nature of something which I do not initially understand, I take a deep breath, and prepare myself for the unexpected. As is the case with the concept of furries, I took a deeper breath, and held onto it for dear life. Who knew what I’d find.
To begin, allow me to share what prompted this study (via AOTS):
Whenever someone goes to painstaking lengths (I say painstaking because I’m lazy, you see) to create, um, a recreation of this calibre for no real reason, my curiosity is peaked. Why would anybody make their own version of Dick in a Box for one? For two – why as anthropomorphic animals?
Immediately, I went to the best source of all truth and accuracy on the web – Mr. Wikipedia himself. And right off the bat, I was amazed to discover what I understood about furries was completely off. I’ll get to that in a second.
My opinions had changed because my perception had been changed:
Originally, I had believed that all furries were sexual in nature and creepy in general, and my reaction to the above videos was not cast in a favorable light. But according to Ms. Wikipedia (I changed my mind about the site’s gender as well, because she’s always right), I learned this:
Many members of the furry community feel that the overly sexual component gives the rest of them a bad name, and may use the derogatory term “furvert” to describe such people…
The term “yiff” is most commonly used to indicate sexual activity or sexual material within the fandom—this applies to sexual activity and interaction within the subculture whether online (in the form of cybersex) or offline…
Most furry fans claim that these media portrayals are misconceptions, while the recent coverage focuses on debunking myths and stereotypes that have come to be associated with the furry fandom…
So as it turns out, those videos aren’t sexual in nature. They’re just creepy in general.
(I’m kidding, of course, because who am I to judge. Do you realize how difficult it is to type with paws?)
I’m speechless. You just need to watch this video. Quite possibly the best spoof and satire ever captured in 2:45 minutes. I’ve spent about 24:50 minutes rewatching it.
Snuggies have taken pop culture by storm, and in this case, a baby hostage.
I know thought I’ve written about them before, and I know thought I’ve posted this video before (it’s a shame when you can’t even find shit on your site), but here we go again for the first time(?):
But how does one even go about putting on a Baby Snuggie? It has to be one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen AND one of the worst ideas on top of that! Think about it. Babies make stinkies a lot… and unless you’re a fan of Dutch ovens (no, not that link – this one), do you really want to wear a sweater that captures that scent? And uh, if you have a baby attached to your hipchest, how are you going to challenge those Muay Thai fighters and save the rec center?
Now I’m not knocking Snuggies on all accounts. There are pub crawls held for good causes that require participants be cloaked in the backwards robes. I may even participate in one… Who’s thinkin’ drink specials?
I’m just wondering what the next comfort craze will be. Perhaps this?
Gosling’s is a bit Fuck Yeah!-ing-ier than Hathaway’s, but you may think differently. The basic premise is this – take LOLcats, get rid of the cats, add the respective “Hey girl/dude” tagline followed by normal English, and eliminate the stupid LOLspeak. Voila! Some samples:
I feel the creators of these sites are missing out on some other celebrities (although I do love Orson Welles’ quotes on each home page). For example, what about a Fuck Yeah! William Shatner!
As powerful as expected, President Elect Barack Obama gave his victory speech in Chicago’s Grant Park last night. My sister, Becky, was there to witness it as it happened.
I was just there over the weekend, as I mentioned in another post, to see the Lions get beat by the Bears, barely. (I was wearing my #20 Seanders jersey, and you better believe I was the nicest guy in Soldier Field ever, but I digress.) I was kind of waiting for the inevitable to happen before I revealed this, but… I found a copy of Obama’s first draft of the speech.
It turned up in a trash bin outside of a Potbelly near Michigan Avenue. What was I doing looking in the trash, you might wonder, and rather than let your mind wander, I’ll share this… my sister threw out half of her cookie I totally would have eaten!
Some highlights from the speech, followed by excerpts of the alleged first draft:
He opened the speech with talk of the American dream, and about the people that waited in record lines to vote.
It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.
He originally planned to finish that statement with this: “…of states of confusion and states of clarity.”
After more positivity, he spoke about his opponent:
Sen. McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he’s fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.
I thought this part would have been nice had he kept it: “And wasn’t he great on Saturday Night Live? The part about the Joe action figures, and the pork knives… heck, the whole thing was pretty hilarious.”
I congratulate him; I congratulate Gov. Palin for all that they’ve achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.
“Oh, and thanks, again Senator for choosing the Governor as your running mate. Really, really thanks.”
He goes on to thank Vice President Elect Joe Biden, his wife, his children, his grandmother that passed away the day before the election, and the rest of his family. Then he brought up his friends.
And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best — the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America. To my chief strategist David Axelrod who’s been a partner with me every step of the way.
“And Bill… you know who you are, and where you are. Whether you’re above ground, or underground.”
But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.
“And to you, and you, and you… (point at random people for about ten minutes).”
The remainder pretty much remained the same, except for the very ending.
This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.
Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.
“And thanks for taking a chance on me.” Then he planned to close with one of these songs:
Or Flo Rida’s hit:
(Full actual transcript from CNN here. Full actual video of speech here.)
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