rihanna

Drunken Recollection… Rihanna Sold Her Soul To The Devil?

Posted on by sgottahurt

My friend Jay works with a bunch of middle-aged shop guys (please take that as a euphemism), and as is common practice amongst those in that industry, the loony bin rejects spew a bunch of bullshit out of their mouths (so much for any euphemisms).

Every so often, Jay asks me to check out the validity of comets heading towards Earth, or if there really are three-breasted women doing porn.  And I do – often in the name of Drunken Recollections.  This latest effort is to get to the bottom of whether Rihanna’s song Umbrella is about how she sold her soul to The Devil.

This video is even long for my tastes, but I recommend checking it all out for curiosity’s sake (or jump to about the 4:30 mark):

That’s some heavy crazy analysis.  This one sees Satan in another place (his “semen” I guess):

And click here for a complete breakdown of the lyrics.

So What Do I Ultimately Think?

 

If someone can analyze the hell out of a video (so to speak) and find images of the occult, or the Illuminati, or whatever, then someone making a video could have just as easily put all those things in there.  Does it mean Rihanna or Jay-Z are Satanists?  Who cares.  Worshipping Baphomet at least makes more sense than worshipping Xenu…

…and for the record, let’s not bring this up again when drinking, Jay.  It’s kind of a buzz killer.
Because I’m kind of afraid.

Drunken Recollection… Saturday Night (Blake) Lively Wasn’t Awful

Posted on by sgottahurt

Here's Blake... not so lively, more so lazily resting

The lovely Blake Lively hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend, and pretty much given any chance, the writers threw her in a skimpy outfit that showed off her gams.  Sorry.  Sometimes when I’m tipsy, and I see a pretty lady, I get all roaring 20’s upinhere.

Anywhosaidwhat, the Gossip Girl star held her own, and performed unabashedly well.  But then again, after the train wreck that was January Jones, everyone looks better.

I’m not saying January Jones isn’t a looker… she was just a terrible host.  Heavens  to betsy!  I’ve put myself in quite a pickle.

There unfortunately weren’t any stand out skits for her.  This skit only has three stars on Hulu, but I thought it was one of the better bits.  Could be because I live in Michigan – home of the Insane Clown Posse and their fervent followers, the Juggalos.  The video of their documentary is below for comparison.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Underground Festival“, posted with vodpod

BONUS SNL HIGHLIGHT

Musical Musings… Why Do I Find Myself Defending Flo Rida?

Posted on by sgottahurt

When rapper Flo Rida originally burst on the scene (his song Low was featured in the award-winning-worthy Step Up 2 The Streets), I wasn’t a fan.  I thought the song was essentially shilling a catalog of products: Apple Bottoms jeans, Uggs (boots with fur), Reeboks (with straps), and um, baggy sweatpants…

But somewhere along the line, I got hooked.  The same happened with his follow up (In the Ayer) and Right Round, which borrows quite liberally from the classic 80’s tune, You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive.

Now know this – I usually can’t stand it when most songs lift old songs for new ones.  (Rihanna’s borrowing of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love back-beat to create the entirely different SOS was a major exception.  And I don’t count the Numa Numa song lifted for TI and Rihanna’s Live Your Life.)  And Right Round barely passed that opinion, but imagine my surprise when I heard Eiffel 65’s Blue in a new song:

Initially, I thought, “Oh geez, not this now!”  But when I figured out it out was Flo Rida, all was forgiven.  Why is that?

JusWondering… Am I A Follower?

Posted on by sgottahurt

The other day, as I was walking into the office, I realized something.  Although I had parked in a far spot and the quickest route to the building’s entrance would have been over the grass, I followed the concrete walk.

But am I not a trailblazer?  Am I not a man of my own convictions?  I thought about this for a bit once I got to my desk, and I chalked it up to being “green” and worrying about “the environment.”

Then later, as I was logging into Twitter to do some Tweeting, I thought about how popular the micro-blogging site seems to be getting since I joined in the fun, and it lead me to wonder… did I sign up before I started hearing about it everywhere, or did I sign up because I started hearing about it everywhere?

unempdad1

(via Unemployed Dad)

Then later still, I found myself taking a survey… and as I awaited the results, I hoped I was in the majority.  I longed for getting mixed in with the masses.  (Sure, it was a survey about Chris Brown and Rihanna, so of course I would pray that the majority was thinking like me.)  But I always thought of myself as a guy that lived outside the box, not in it (unless perhaps I am the box… doubt it).

So who else out there thinks this commercial is funny enough to make it their voice mail?

Drunken Recollection… Tron And Lil’ Wayne = Cheese And Whine

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m no fashionista.  (I even felt uncomfortable writing that word.)  I don’t dress in the latest fashions (if Target or Kohl’s ever become haute couture, I’ll be set).  I don’t even wear a suit to formal affairs (I have my standard white dress shirt, random tie, black pants, and until someone called me out on wearing a certain vest to their wedding – a certain vest).

So please do not judge me as I judge another.  My sisters always said it’s 10% what you wear and 90% your attitude (I think they borrowed liberally from another saying), but there was this guy at the bar that made some choices, and then some additional choices on top of those, and… well, let me explain.

First off, he was in mid- to late-twenties, and he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt bearing what I call “a Tron pattern.”

(Not So) Artistic Representation

(Not So) Artistic Representation

Which on its own, I guess, would be fine and dandy (I shall never write that phrase again).  But he could have worn something akin to this, instead:

Boba Swett...shirt

Boba Swett...shirt

And he would have pulled off the look a bit better.  But he also could have actually gone to this extreme like this guy:

Does he Master Controller to Tron?

Does he Master Controller to Tron?

Yet I’m not done.  The sweatshirt was a few sizes too small, as it tapered and adhered to his arms.  A bad choice on its own, but forgivable if he opted NOT TO WEAR THE HOOD.  It was snug on his noggin, and seemed to pull up the shirt underneath as well.

So what? you might be thinking.  He can just put down the hood.  My response: then why doesn’t he pull up the back of his pants!  He had them purposely draped below his gray boxer briefed bum, as his leather belt held them firmly there.  My friend, Jess, thought he might not know, but I knew he knew.  It was another in a long line of bad choices.

The coup de grace for me was when my friend Devin was doing karaoke of Lil’ Wayne’s “A Milli” (which is a dumb song, btw, with some of the worst lyrics… check them out after the jump).  This too-small-Tron-hoodie-wearing, non-boxer-pants-sagging doofus jumped up to sing with him, and he couldn’t keep up!  He ruined it for Devin.  Oh well.  Like I said, who am I to judge… in my 90’s X-Men tee and skaterboi jeans with the cuffs rolled up.

(SIDE RANT: What’s the appeal of Lil’ Wayneanyway?  Is he big merely for the fact he may have been the first to integrate electronica with rap?  Why couldn’t he be a nice, clean cut guy like Chris Brown, and get cozy with a sweetheart like Rihanna?)

Read More