My Friday Funk Is Funking With Me

Yeah, this video pretty much expresses how I feel this Friday:

Like what happened to this apartment? 
Why is there a cuckoo bird walking around the room? 
Who’s filming the creature and why? 
Is that a sitar being used in that song? 
Did the music come before the video or was the video inspired by the tune? 
Why did I listen to and watch the whole thing?

Yeah, essentially all that, but completely different questions…

For more videos like the above, you can go to the semi-not-eponymously named website, Amazing Aaron.  (I’m assuming his name is really “Aaron.”)

And if you’re really a glutton for feathers, check out these equally semi-not-eponymously named website, Fluffy Birds, in which Buster is accompanied by Sandy and some laundry baskets.

(Thank my sibs for the oddness today)

Drunken Recollection… Flying Bags, Trashing Toilets, Saving Bathrooms, And Other Weird Thoughts

Sometimes things you enjoy can get ruined by the mere fact that someone points out the obvious to you, well-enough is not left alone, or something becomes cliché about it.  Examples:

  • One episode of South Park lampooned Family Guy and pointed out the show makes pointless jokes that have no basis or bearing on the plot.  It sounds highbrow, but it ruined Family Guy for me.
  • Matrix 2 and 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3, and Star Wars Episodes 1-3 all turned the awesome originals into tripe.  What wonders the first works brought us were repeated and retreaded until the wonder was no more.  The signs of forward thinking creativity became watered down to levels of… luck.
  • Don’t get me started on using famous songs in commercials.  Too late.  I’d give anything in the world to NOT think of KFC when I hear Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama”… but alas, that’s not to be.  The classic Southern rock anthem is now an unfortunate cliché.

The reason I bring this all up is fuck American Beauty.  Especially this scene:

Why do I have such disdain for this sequence?  It’s not that I hate it… at all.  It’s that I quite actually agree with it wholeheartedly.  I’m the type of person that likes to look up at the clouds every now and again and feel small.  I enjoy remembering my minuscule place in the universe that I share with the floating grocery store bags and the tumbling cardboard containers blowing in the wind.  What makes me mad is that I liked paying attention to the things too many people ignore before the movie came out (ten whole years ago), and when I do so now, I feel like a cliché because I’m reminded of that movie.

I thought of that on the way to the bar before soccer last night, and I needed to get that off my chest.  On to the Drunken Recollection!

SIDENOTE: Does it bring anyone else extreme amounts of joy to see toilets being discarded on the curbside?  Oh, the stories they could tell.  And it looks so juxtaposed with its surroundings.  Can you imagine being the garbage man that has to hoist the porcelain throne into his compactor?   I tried to Google Image Search “toilets being thrown out” for additional laughs, but all that showed up were pictures of Lily Allen. Weird.

Once at the bar, time constrained nicely between basketball and soccer, I had to save yet another restroom from flooding.  What’s up with people not being able to turn off faucets!?!  Have we gone numb?

Anyway, a few topics of interest came up that I thought I’d share:

  • My (possibly brilliant, or perhaps stranger than I) cousin Steve brought up the suggestion that adults should start referring to their age in months as opposed to years.  It’s more specific, it sounds impressive the older you get, and it gives clues to your birthday… that is if you’re good at math and know your times table.  Just remember, you have to be older than 252 months to drink and older than 216 months to vote, see Rated R movies, and be considered “legal.”
  • I was reminded of an old daydream I used to have where people kept growing the older they got, so you’d have to have bigger homes and bigger cars and bigger clothes and bigger factories to make all those big things.  Nobody could lie about their age or get Botox or plastic surgery to stay small.  And even if you were fifty, your seventy year old parents could still pick you up if they needed to, or you had a bad day and wanted to be nuzzled.  (I’m probably stranger than Steve, hands down.)
  • Do celebrities have insurance?  Do movie stars walk around with Blue Cross cards or Medicaid, or do they simply pay cash?  Maybe they get comped like with stores and restaurants.  “Hey, guess where Angelina and Brad went when they got the flu?  Kaiser Permanente.”  “Man, I wanna go there, too!”  I could research this further, but I only really cared about it last night.

JusWondering… Whatever Happened To Jazzercise?

I stopped by the video store I used to work at last night to visit my brother, Scott, (and to pick up Friday the 13th: Parts 1 and 2 ‘natch).  As I looked around, I kind of missed the old joint.  And it wasn’t so much the unlimited access to all the DVD’s (considering I have way more than enough at home), but it was the strange things that used to happen there.

One common occurrence was us workers would be talking about some random old film, and shortly thereafter someone would return that exact film.  There are plenty of things I could go on about, but maybe I’ll save that for another post.

I stopped by on my way to soccer, and my sister’s fiance Will (the Monk Lookalike) happened to be up there at the same time.  Weird.

My old friend and former manager, Crystal, brought up the fact she stumbled upon pictures of a trip a huge group of us took to Chicago years and years ago.  A few days ago, the very same trip was brought up by some of the others that been on it.  Kinda weird.

As I was walking out, some dude was looking at the Coming Attractions booklet that’s stacked on the end of the counter.  Our exchange:

Dude – “Dude, I can’t believe it’s coming out.”

Crystal, Scott, and I keep talking to each other.

Dude – “I knew it was going to be called Still Waiting.  It’s coming right to DVD.”

Me – “So you’re still waiting for Still Waiting.”

Dude gave me the thumbs up.  He showed me this picture:

...Let's wait someplace else...

...Let's wait someplace else...

I laughed.  “I thought Still Waiting was a suspense movie, like (*spooky voice*) Stiiiilllll Waaaaaiiitttiiinnggg.  Not the sequel.”  Scott and Crystal laughed, and I went on my merry way.

(SIDENOTE: Weird things happen all the time if you pay attention.  Another example occurred a couple days ago.  I passed this store named “NEVETS” and I realized it was STEVEN backwards.  This made me think of my cousin, and how he’s been watching old “Twilight Zone” episodes lately.  Right after that, the radio played the show’s theme in a commercial.)

twilight-zone

How many times do I have to tell you to CLEAN THIS ROOM UP!

(ANOTHER SIDENOTE: At trivia the other night, I teased my friend, Devin, who was hosting the game, by calling my team, “I’ll Be Teaching Jazzercise after the Show.”  His clothing choices were a bit 80’s, so when he had to announce our name, it made us laugh.  But it spooked the ladies who were playing at the table next to us.  Our exchange:

Lady – “That was you guys who made that name?”

Me – “Yeah, because of how Devin’s dressed.”

Lady (pointing to her friend) – “We thought it was because we just joined a Jazzercise group, and had our first class earlier tonight.”  At which point she opened her coat to reveal her Jazzercise logo emblazoned t-shirt.

You got to love the Symphony of Life.)

jazzercise

Come on and shake that azz for me, shake that azz for me!

Happy Find… A Van Face

On the drive into work, I was stuck behind one of these vans:

Like this, but old and dirty, so not like this.

Like this, but old and dirty, so not like this.

I was bumming a bit, then I noticed a face staring back at me.  The shades in the rear-tinted windows looked like eyelids.  The license plate was its teeth/tooth.  The break lights were rosy cheeks, and the rusted deadbolt was a nose.  The ladders, or whatever the junk was, on top made up the face’s hair. 

It made me smile.

(Not So) Artistic Representation

(Not So) Artistic Representation