Drunken Recollection… Of The Cable Kind (Update)

(EMBARRASSING UPDATE: I was up for 24 hours.  I may have a problem…)
How I feel right now... just waiting for tomorrow's hangover.

How I feel right now... just waiting for tomorrow's hangover.

My daze is waning.  My day is fading.  I finally have high-speed access to the TripleDoubleU at home once again, and in addition to that, I’ve added cable to the package.

Mmmm, cable… it was one of the few things that got me out of the house besides trivia and drinking and sports and drinking.  My friends and family had it, and I’d often visit them to partake in its offerings.  I’ll miss them.

So far, I’ve caught up on back episodes of Survivor.  I’ve managed to get through The Onion Movie as well as Whacked Out Videos(gah!) on G4.  The latest: I’m finishing up the Top 100 One-Hit Wonders of the 80’s on VH1 Classic, even though I know the results of the list.  The reason being we discussed this the other day at the bar.

Other topics during recent bar trips:

Okay, well oddly, I don’t remember, because I didn’t really make a point to.  See, for the month of May, I’ve decided to give up my Mt. Dew, my booze, and my fast food.  Nine days in, I’m holding up quite well, although I’m not really seeing a difference (although I’m feeling it… every morning I feel like dancing great).  I am still being social and going out to the bars.  How else will I harass others into going out in the future if I cop out now?

So now I’ve decided upon watching the Spectacular Spider-Man on Disney XD (oh, yeah, that reminds me – I watched a bit of Chicken Little earlier today).  And I’m not sure what I’ll watch later. 

Oh!  They just showed a commercial for these, and I must admit, I’m tempted:

…stinking kids channels.  Me wanty bottle people and cereal box guitars.

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JusWondering… Can You Get Drunk Off Milk?

For the month of May I’ve decided to cut out some of the things that have made my life worth living… Taco Bell, Mt. Dew, beer, um, Taco Bell, Mt. Dew, and beer, yeah…

So far, four days in, I’ve managed to keep up with the plan and maintain the social habits in which my usuals are consumed.

  • Friday – MGM Casino and Detroit Tigers’ game (drunk kids behind us would have been more fun had I also been smashed)
  • Saturday – My brother’s play (totally would have drank afterwards normally, but it was actually really entertaining)
  • Sunday – My friend’s softball game (I’m the scorekeeper, usually armed with a pen in one hand and a beer in the other) 
  • Today – 80’s Night at Comerica Park (booze fest, natch)

Yet alas, here I am, prodding through with my plan, having nightmares about caving in and drinking Mt. Dew (seriously), getting tempted like crazy.

But something strange has been occurring the last few nights.  As I sit down on my couch to prepare for a late night, pre-bedtime viewing of TV shows on DVD (just finished the hilarious It’s Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaBurn Notice is next), I’ve been partaking of a glass or two of low fat organic milk.  And after drinking that second glass, I’ve been feeling a wee bit tipsy.

So I decided to investigate if this was a phenomenon, or merely something in my head.  I remember in the short-lived comic book, X-Nation 2099, the mutants would get drunk off of milk.  So why can’t I?

There are many cases of infantile beriberi (kakke) in Japan. In most instances the mother of the afflicted infant has beriberi. However, sometimes the mother is healthy (concealed beriberi). Ito observed such a case in which the mother did not have beriberi and called the condition “mother’s milk intoxication.” But he afterward changed this name to “breast milk intoxication” because he saw cases in babies who were nourished with the milk of wet-nurses.

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is very provocative in its media campaign about milk, but it is correct in its message. Beer is indeed better than milk for health, as are both wine and distilled spirits.

  • Doing too many shots of milk produces the same result as too many shots of liquor:
  • Bill Murray drinks a glass of warm milk before he goes to bed.

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