JusWondering

JusWondering… Am I Getting Mind Powers?

Posted on by sgottahurt

When I was a kid, I believed carrots improved your eyesight, gum stuck to your ribs (if you swallowed it), and fish made you smart.

Remember the food chain, dude!

Remember the food chain, dude!

I hated carrots, so my eyesight was never too hot.  (Sleeping in contact lenses for months at a time probably didn’t help.)

It took me until high school to realize that the chest pains I felt while growing up had nothing to do with the gum I swallowed in my youth.  (Hubba Bubba goes nowhere near your ribs!)

And even though I liked my fish sticks as a kid, the idea became less attractive in my teens and further into adulthood.  (Seafood stinks!)

"Fish heads, fish heads, eat 'em up, yum!"

"Fish heads, fish heads, eat 'em up, yum!"

So imagine my disappointment when I found out how good Omega-3 fish oils were for you, and my joy upon discovering they came in pill form!

The problem that remained was I kept forgetting to seek them out for purchase.  Well forget them no more!  I finally picked up a bottle, and I already believe I’m beginning to see results.

The biggest difference I’ve noticed is that I’m becoming psychic.  I would regale you with all the details, but they seem to have escaped me for now.

Stay tuned as I report any further advancements of my mind!

JusWondering… What Do Hackman, Rudd, The Gute, And The Mac Guy Have In Common?

Posted on by sgottahurt

In response to the post title’s inquiry:  they’re all… Actors!

Here’s a couple things I’ve been JusWondering about each.

1) Gene Hackman

"Men at Work 2: Trash Tweens"

"Men at Work 2: Trash Tweens"

Whatever happened to Gene “Hack Man” Hackman?  Why hasn’t he been acting lately?  The last film he appeared in was Welcome to Mooseport, and heaven forbid something happens to him, but does an actor of his caliber really want his swan song to be a co-starring vehicle with the guy that played a CGI mammoth?  Personally, I think he’s better than most of the Actors! of his generation… mostly because he was Lex Luthor and Popeye Doyle.  And of course, Royal Tenenbaum.

2) Paul Rudd/Steve Guttenberg

The Rudd meets the Gute, and it was "Grute"

The Rudd meets the Gute, and it was "Grute"

Paul Rudd reminds my mother of Steve Guttenberg, for some reason.  Though I would have to admit that if they when they remake Police Academy, Rudd would make a great Mahoney. 

I also think he would make a great Krull, if that’s what the main character’s name was.  If Krull is the blue guy, the chick, or the kick-ass weapon, then no.  All I remember about Krull is that kick-ass weapon.

I should have Photoshopped Rudd into this, but I'm lazy.

I should have Photoshopped Rudd into this, but I'm lazy.

3) Justin Long

justin_long

He Longs for a major hit.

How about this guy and his scene stealing?  I don’t think he works as well as a lead (Accepted or Waiting…), or as well as an assistant lead (Live Free or Die Hard), but in bit parts… he shines.  Since I was initially amused by him in Galaxy Quest, he’s eaten the scenery (and his co-stars) in The Break Up, Idiocracy, Walk Hard, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno.  Will Ferrell started off the same way, in the background out loud, and now he slays in (most of) his films.  Maybe the same will happen Justin time so he won’t have to wait for too Long.

JusWondering… Apparently I Don’t Know Where Babies Come From

Posted on by sgottahurt

The after-effect of a drunken Snuggie Pub Crawl.

The after-effect of a drunken Snuggie Pub Crawl.

 (pic from MomLogic via Switched)

Snuggies have taken pop culture by storm, and in this case, a baby hostage. 

I know thought I’ve written about them before, and I know thought I’ve posted this video before (it’s a shame when you can’t even find shit on your site), but here we go again for the first time(?):

But how does one even go about putting on a Baby Snuggie?  It has to be one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen AND one of the worst ideas on top of that!  Think about it.  Babies make stinkies a lot… and unless you’re a fan of Dutch ovens (no, not that link – this one), do you really want to wear a sweater that captures that scent?  And uh, if you have a baby attached to your hipchest, how are you going to challenge those Muay Thai fighters and save the rec center?

Now I’m not knocking Snuggies on all accounts.  There are pub crawls held for good causes that require participants be cloaked in the backwards robes.  I may even participate in one…  Who’s thinkin’ drink specials?

I’m just wondering what the next comfort craze will be.  Perhaps this?

Is the shield a pillow?

Is the shield a pillow?

(These pajamas are real)

JusWondering… Does The Dodge Charger Come With Any Gimmicks? No, Don’t Tell Me

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m not sure if I’ve fallen victim to marketing, or if I’m getting the “new car bug,” but lately I can’t stop staring any time I see one of these:

Dodge Charger

Dodge Charger

It looks so mean and sporty – it’s so unlike the picks in my past.  I just hope that I don’t find out about any special features in it.  For example, I bought one of these because people threw a Frisbee through it’s open sides in a commercial:

Honda Element

Honda Element

Well, there was the Frisbee thing, but there also was the fact you could hose out the inside (which I never did), plus I could live in it if necessary because the seats folded into a bed.  That last reason was probably the same reason why this car vehicle thing on four wheels caught my eye once upon a time:

Pontiac Aztec, with "tent" feature

Pontiac Aztec, with "tent" feature

Also, the Aztec had a normal power cord plug in the dashboard.  What can I say?  I’m easy.

I bought my current Honda Civic because the dashboard had blue lights.  I must have been a moth in a past life…

Ooooh... shiny...

Ooooh... shiny...

JusWondering… Is Josh Groban Cool?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This has been something creeping in the back of my mind for awhile now.  I mean, if you have a voice like he does, you have to use it in the genre it works best (makes you shitloads of money earns you a living).  But ever since his appearance in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m F’n Ben Affleck,” the case study has been building.

EXHIBIT A – “I’m F’n Ben Affleck”

This is a TripleDoubleU phenom and a played out meme, but as a refresher, check out the 7:40 mark:

EXHIBIT B – “2008 Emmy TV Theme Song Medley”

By no means or stretch of the imagination is any of this good.  But the fact that he willingly participated in it speaks volumes (to me at least).  I’d like to think he knew those theme songs by heart before this idea was ever a twinkle sty in anyone’s eye:

XZIBIT C – “You Don’t Know Me” by Ben Folds and Regina Spektor

Directed by the awesome Tim and Eric (of “Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show, Great Job!“), Josh Groban makes a guest appearance twice in Ben Folds‘ video, while for some reason, Regina Spektor does not.  Check him out at the 2:46 and 3:07 marks:

In closing, you’ll have to judge whether Josh Groban is cool or not, but based on the above samples, I think he is cool. 

If you want to judge my judging, I used to think this was cool:

JusWondering… Some “Detroit Saving” Alternatives To Jay Leno

Posted on by sgottahurt

Jay Leno is coming to Detroit as a part of his comedy stimulus plan, and even though city council person, Martha Reeves(of Martha and the Vandellas), doesn’t like the fact that he’s coming to the Palace of Auburn Hills, I have some alternatives to his idea.

1) This.  Parade.  Rocks.  It’s exactly the kind of pick-me-up the ailing city of Detroit could use.  Do you hear that ninjas?  Come to Detroit!

2) If that doesn’t happen, then we could always use a Carl’s Brother Dave Jr. restaurant.  We just started getting Sonic restaurants here, and it’s been bowlofmilkriffic!

3) I never thought I’d ever be saying this, but bring the comedic stylings of Ricky Gervais and Elmo to Detroit!  They are a genius duo unmatched by any!

JusWondering… Did Hollywood Go To Glamour Shots?

Posted on by sgottahurt

When I was at my favorite movie theater recently (I am a card carrying Frequent Movie Watcher), I noticed that they had (intentionally) placed four strikingly familiar posters beside one another.  I couldn’t quite place what was so similar, but they all drew the exact same emotional reaction from me…

wolverineteaserstartrekkirk

terminator4transformers2teaser 

…ho-hum.  Just what the ad execs ordered (okay, maybe the T4 poster is kinda cool).  Instead, I think they should have hired this guy:

Vodpod videos no longer available. My guess is that it all started with this poster:

Looks guilty to me!

Looks guilty to me!

more about “JusWondering…“, posted with vodpod

JusWondering… Flooded Bathrooms, Head Sizes, Spasms, And Dirty Words?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Just some things I’ve been thinking about the last 24 hours:

  • At the bar last night, someone left a faucet running.  It filled the sink and started flooding the floor.  I turned it off and alerted the waitstaff.  The waitress’ response, “Not again.”  This made me wonder: Are we so used to automatic water faucets that we don’t remember how to use the old ones?
Now... you grab what and pump how again?

Now... you grab what and pump how again?

  • I get an occasional twitch in my left thigh where my cell phone usually hangs around.  Should I change the pocket I carry my cell phone in?
  • I used to be pretty good at math, and I’ve always loved board games.  People used to tell me I should have went into statistics, but I thought that would have been boring.  Maybe I should have invented some new kind of puzzle game.
  • Brit pop star Lily Allen has a new CD out.  Kevin Smith’s latest movie just came out on DVD.  While I was at Target, I looked at the back of Lily’s CD and saw that she had a song called “Fuck You,” clear as day on the back.  Yet, Zack and Miri couldn’t have Make a Porno on it.  So a “Fuck You” on your back is better than a “Porno” on your front?
    "What's a p****, mom?" "A p**** is a video of people fucking, honey."

    "What's a p****, mom?" "A p**** is a video of people fucking, honey."

  • This song I heard on the radio last night as I was driving home reminded me of discovering new music in my college years:
  • Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist would have been better if Nick and Norah’s heads were in proportion to each other.  I’m not sure if Michael Cera’s head is too small or Kat Dennings’ chest head is too big.  (I’m thinking the prior.)
    Made me not-so-afraid of NYC... I watch too many 70's movies.

    Made me not-so-afraid of NYC... I've seen too many 70's movies.

JusWondering… Is This Bad? Or By Asking, Does That Make It Bad?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I don’t know if it would be politically incorrect to start marketing bumper stickers like these…

ihopemycarissafe

Touchy!

…or if it’s just plain old fashion funny (which I guess would make it politically incorrect)?

JusWondering… What Yesterday Wrought

Posted on by sgottahurt

Believe me when I say I was going to bore you with the details of my yesterday in comparison with what I expected it to be two days ago.  You know that whole random winter Tuesday/Wednesday gag.  So instead, I’m only going to bore you with highlights.

I’ll just note that things weren’t too far off from what I predicted as well as not at all the same!

  • I started moving at 6:01 am (alarm clock time), which means I ignored one whole minute.  Not a good start.
  • I ended up having a morning that was beyond snooze happy, and had to cut out some of the morning essentials.  I still ate a Pop Tart with  organic milk (Brown Sugar Cinnamon won).
  • On the road, the only construction I ran into was right by my house.  I did get sleepy around Bowling Green, so I stopped at Meijer for a candy bar.  (It was a Milky Way bar, since they were out of Reese’s Fast Breaks… I fear this treat’s days are numbered.)
  • I quickly gave up the notion of seeing a Denny’s for my free breakfast.  I thought they might not exist in Ohio.  I did end up getting a free lunch, though (the company’s VP bought me a bar burger from the joint next door).
  • Things were going well.  I only had to run two network cable lines.  There was a slight struggle getting the router and the modem to communicate, but overall, it looked like I was leaving early…
  • The Snag.  I knew in my gut that there was going to be one, but I figured it would have to do with the wiring or a pc issue.  Better yet.  The router I went down to Findlay to install was to unite the offices so their printers would work better.  This was the reason for the visit.  The router I had no longer came with this feature included.  In fact, it could no longer even be purchased as an add-on.  This meant I had to find a VPN router replacement stat.  Unfortunately, the closest store to carry it was in Toledo.  Here’s some maps:
Between office and store.

Between office and store.

 

Between office and home.
Between office and home.

 

  •  Bonus Potential Snag.  The key given to me to get back in since the workers would be gone was the wrong key.  Luckily someone was still there.  Whew!
  • While I was waiting for printer files to install, I did get to work on a post for Old Men at the Bar.  The computer seized up on me, and I feared all was lost!  Only a little was lost.
  • I finally got back on the road home about 7 pm.  It was three hours later than I anticipated.  On my way back I stopped in Bowling Green to get gas and a Mt. Dew from Meijer.  The Dew tasted like it was mixed with some paint thinner, or something, but I was thirsty. 
  • As I neared the Ohio/Michigan border, I saw a billboard for an upcoming Denny’s.  In Toledo.