Some would argue that celebrities are people. I say, if corporations can be people, why not the Hollywood elite.
It’s just that sometimes, when they are themselves, their real selves aren’t all that alluring…
Sometimes, their down right creepy. Take a gander and tell me what you think?
Once upon a time, I really thought Jim Carrey was funny.
He had a spectrum of characters on In Living Color, and both Ace Ventura films were a hoot (see what I did there). The Mask and Dumb and Dumber were practically (or actually) tailor-made for him, and Liar Liar was the pièce de résistence for that phase of his career.
But then came The Truman Show and Man on the Moon, and things started to get tricky. He couldn’t quite go back to wacky. I wasn’t too big a fan of Me, Myself & Irene (although I blame that more on my waning Farrelly Brothers sensibilities). Bruce Almighty was all-righty then, and at that point, boom goes the dynamite. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind erases every Grinch, every Majestic, every Cable Guy, and every Riddler, Batman forever.
So what’s he to do? His adult fare no longer fared well (Fun with Dick and Jane, The Number 23, Yes Man, I Love You Phillip Morris), whereas his kid-schtick (Lemony Snicket, Horton Hears a Who?, A Christmas Carol)… did marginally better?
So his latest offering, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, should be of no surprise:
Once upon a time, I thought Kevin James was funny. Not really. I really liked him in Hitch, though, and I guess he was okay on The King of Queens (my problems were more with Leah Remini and Jerry Stiller). Paul Blart: Mall Cop felt like a plain donut after watching the insane Observe and Report, and Grown Ups frankly sucked balls.
But James is in a movie with animals, too, and it only illustrates how far Jim Carrey has fallen. See the talking feces fest here:
Which one wins this Awful Battle?
This may be surprising, but I can get talkative when I’m drunk. I know, right!
What this means is that I theorize and pontificate, and generally make an ass of myself.
But sometimes ideas occur to me that are worth remembering…
For example, one idea I had was how people are a lot like cogs. Some people are big cogs and others are small cogs. And they spin at different rates to keep up with each other or because of each other. Some of them don’t touch but are rotating due to a shared gear. Okay, there was a whole lot more that went into this, but you get the idea. I rambled on and on for awhile (remember: druh-unk), and it seems to be happening again. Moving on…
Another thought that entered my noggin was the notion of truth bombs, and how I wish you could drop them on anyone and everyone to let the other person know where you stand in your thoughts about them.
I was reminded of two movies that used truth bombs: For Love of the Game and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
In For Love, Kelly Preston’s character tells Kevin Costner’s character that she wishes people could carry around chalkboards on which they could write what they were thinking. He asks her what she would write, and she writes on a napkin, “Yes.” Then they do it. Well, it goes down something like that, but that example is not really what I’m hoping to convey.
In Eternal Sunshine, at its finale (SPOILER ALERT!), Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet confess all their faults to each other before trying to get back together after wiping their memories. Yeah, that’s a little closer, but I digress.
I thought this concept was pretty original, but then I uncovered the definition for truth bomb in the Urban Dictionary:
(noun) A fact or piece of knowledge that, when told to a listener, is devastating to the listener’s argument or world view.“Dude, I dropped a truth bomb on my priest at confession yesterday. I slipped him The DaVinci Code, which disproves his whole religion!”
Tupac dropped truth bombs on the American people, letting them know what it’s like to live in the ‘hood.
So… so much for all that.
How about a Hooter’s waitress performing the infamous rodeo barstool trick to wipe the memories of this post (you hold up a napkin with the word “Yes” on it). My cog just spun yours, and you’re welcome:
(SIDE NOTE: Why is everyone at the news station just going along with this? And in the morning? And as a reminder about something called “Wings for Kids”? And did you see the guy in burgundy in the background trying to watch without getting caught watching? And… just… why?)
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