It’s been long enough since I’ve seen this video about recent UFO sightings across the world that I can finally post it here. Have I mentioned how I feel about aliens before? Here’s a tip on how to get through it – focus on the misspellings (why do videos like this always have misspellings?)…
This next one is creepy, but in a fun way, which seems weird to say based on what it’s, um, based on, but it’s true. Honestly, it’s one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a long time.
I feel like when I even write about Billy Mays, I should WRITE IN CAPS! He’s the RonCo for a new generation. As ubiquitous as he is, and as pretentious as that sounds, toilet humor has never been better than in these dubs of his commercials. I had trouble picking which ones to highlight, so I picked three and gave you a heads up what you might find in them if you’re SHORT ON TIME!
If someone decides to take a shit in the bathtub or have sex in a vase, check this one out:
If you can relate to this level of hate: “Look at this rug, I hate this rug, I’m going to ruin this rug!” Check this one out:
If when you’re outside picking up shit, you’re afraid the kids are inside stealing your food, then check this one out:
Keeps the giraffes out in winter, thought I as a child.
I love infomercials, and I’m not ashamed of admitting that. Considering I’m in the minority of people in this country that do not have cable or satellite TV (I technically do not have wireless Internet access either… but my neighbor does), I’m stuck with the six channels my antenna can get. When I’m getting in late from the bar, infomercials are all I have.
(Now I know digital TV broadcasting doubles if not triples my options, but I’d still rather get snowy images than blocky screen freezes and “no signal founds” until February 17th, thank you very much. And yes, I still use a VCR.)
Anyflobee, my point is this: people of America – there are still things to invent. Take this recent discovery of mine… the Twin Draft Guard. How fucking simple, yet no one until now has put pen to pad (and contacted InventHelp.com) and released it on the market.
I mean, I’ve had my share of ideas, as have my friends.
Like, for instance, um, I always wondered why gas stations didn’t have electronic signs, then boom!
Ah, remember those prices 4yrs ago... and 4wks ago...
My buddy, Jay, always thought they should have a faster way of paying for fast food, like a stick. (He loves his fast food and paying with credit cards.) Then Mobil showed up with the SpeedPass, and now more and more cards have RFID devices in them to speed things up.
I also know people who “invented” things like taco holders and glasses clips. My dad made these for our house before there was even “The Club” for cars:
Does not work on doors made of glass... trust me on this one.
My second confession on this post: I’m an idiot. On this site, I’ve already gave away restaurant ideas and movie ideas. I’m serious about the movie idea (original post here and announcement here). Here’s a humdinger I want put into production immediately: The Asshole Blaster (okay, maybe a name change is required a name change is definitely required).
The idea is as simple as the Twin Draft Guard: it’s potato gun-type device that launches sticky slimeballs with declarations on them, like DOOSH or IDYUT (this guywould totally get IDYUT). I thought of it during the recent snowfalls we had, and how people drive like physics don’t apply to their vehicle because they drive an SUV or a truck. I saw more SUV’s and trucks in ditches and up shoulders than anything else. This would be my prize slimeball for them: