JusWondering… Why Do I Want Superpowers For Mediocre Uses?

This idea came about when I was thinking about how I really, really, really, would like a Lightsaber™ only to steal cool street signs.

Funny_street_sign

Hello hilarity, soon to be hanging on my basement wall!

I also might be inclined to use it to put holes in things, but otherwise, that’s all I would use a Lightsaber™ for.  Not for good, not for (truly) evil – only for comedy.

Then it occurred to me that I think the same way in regard to having superpowers.  My reasons to possess them aren’t grand by any means.

1) Flight

meflying

"Here I come to ruin the day!"

I talked about this once before, but I’ll bring it up again.  If I could fly, I’d use it to travel, of course, since it would cut my commute time to work in half!  (I’m still employed with this amazing ability.  Great fantasy.)  But the biggest trick I’d pull would involve me showing off my new talent at the Academy Awards™ while the stars walked the Red Carpet®… you know, just to show them up.

2) Invisibility 

douchexpress

C'mon... he deserves it...

If I could turn as transparent as the Balloon Boy Hoax©, I wouldn’t be hanging out in ladies’ locker rooms (although I might sneak into gym to workout for free if I was so inclined).  I’d use it key douchebags’ cars.  If you’d like to know what I’d take the time to scrape – see above.  Carrie Underwood (Patent Pending) should take notes before the next time he cheats…

3) Indestructibility

Bar fights, natch.  Maybe X-Treme Sports®…You know, just to show douchebags up.

4) Super Strength

I’ve always wanted a steamroller to run over different things.  I suppose I’d do the same (or at least similar) with my own hands.

5) Telekinesis

To be lazy.  From my couch.  Also – my bed.  Maybe the shower.

6) Telepathy

To win arguments.  And ladies’ hearts…

7) Time Travel

I’d go back a few days to post this on time on monkeyBLOGmonkeyDO™.

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JusWondering… What Superpower Would You Like To Have?

From time to time, I like playing “What Superpower Would You Like to Have?” with my friends.  It’s usually the guys who participate, but the ladies have as well.  To play, you usually have to rule out the standards of the comics industry, like your Superman’s, your Spider-Man’s, and any of the X-Men.  Only straight-up special abilities are allowed.  For instance, last night’s trio of options:

  1. Indestructibility
  2. Invisibility
  3. Flight

Indestructibility was chosen by most (myself included, at first… I’m so wishy-washy).  It was decided that this allowed you an extent of fearlessness that would bolster you upon whatever life path you wanted.  Whether it be in business, in sports, or on the battlefield, you could be all you could be.

Invisibility was looked at as a shady route, which it most likely would be.  You’re given the ability to be sneaky and spy, to be a pervert, or to be a master thief.  No one selected this option… out loud.

Flight was a moot point, until my friend Devin interjected that it would be the most freeing.  He suggested that life would be a little less stressful if you could get up and go when the world was getting you down.  This got me thinking that I wanted Flight powers as well, because it too would provide you with an extra boost of confidence to accomplish more in this world.

Plus, how cool would it be to show up at the Red Carpet of the Academy Awards show, flying around, screaming, “Look at me!  Look at me!”  You’d take all the attention away from the glory hounds of Hollywood (but you’d probably also get shot down to be taken and examined, so… maybe not).

Here I come!

Here I come!

Devin also wondered if Indestructibility also provided some level of Immortality, because as he saw it, if the world blew up, you’d be stuck floating in space for forever.  I responded by stating you probably wouldn’t be the only one in the entire planet that had this ability, which then brought the whole discussion crashing down.  I guess the game of “What Superpower Would You Like to Have?” isn’t as Indestructible as I thought.