Hibbidy-Wah?! | monkeyBLOG monkeyDO

Hibbidy-Wah?! Please Keep My Kittens Single-Faced!

Posted on June 14, 2010 by sgottahurt

This video promised to be cute:

Aaaaaaah! Quick! Clean the palette! Clean the palette! (Video auto-starts so I moved the too-cuteness to after the jump) Read More

Hibbidy-Wah?! Things You Did Not (Need To) Know

Posted on May 31, 2010 by sgottahurt

This is an oldie I forgot about. I’m not upset. It forgot about me, too.

This was sort of like a Happy Find of the Hibbidy-Wah?! kind. It was originally on Everything is Terrible’s website, and it caused them a world of potential hurt. Luckily someone else finally re-posted it, and Warming Glow brought it back to my attention:

And this little factoid will never leave my noggin:

(via Zany Pickle via The Daily What)

Hibbidy-Wah?! Foreign Pop Culture Is Foreign To Me

Posted on May 19, 2010 by sgottahurt

I consider myself to be quite the pop culture pundit. American pop culture, that is. I’d go as far as to say we as a nation created it, although that may not be entirely true.

Imagine my Hibbidy-Wah?! reaction when my co-worker pal Dave found this YouTube video of an Italian pop star that has over 10 million hits! (I’m sure the view count has little to do with the song.)

Her full name is Sabrina Salerno and this song came out in 1987. It hit the Top 5 in most European countries (of course), but as far as I could find, it never made its way here. Let it be known that as of 2009, she was still releasing new music.

SIDENOTE: Are we sure the song isn’t really called, Buoys?

This leads me to a recent discovery of my own, and a reluctant admission.

— I enjoy watching crappy movies that are on Comcast’s OnDemand. —

There. I said it. It feels… like no big deal if I don’t list the turds I’ve subjected myself to, such as Toxic Avenger 1 & 2, Cherry 2000, Happy Birthday to Me, G.O.R.P., and most recently, Hot Bubblegum.

I miss clam shells...

What I thought was a foreign ripoff of Porky’s was actually the third film in series that inspired the American (and in Porky’s case – Canadian) sex romps.

The nine film series (what is this… American Pie?!) started with 1978’s Lemon Popsicle. Here’s the preview:

To anyone up on their early 80’s filmography that might have looked familiar:

The Last American Virgin was directed by Boaz Davidson… the same guy that directed the first four Lemon Popsicle films! (Think of it as precursor to our recent slew of American remakes of foreign films.)

I guess other than these revelations, I don’t have much else to say. Other than this…

— They should remake Cherry 2000 with Megan Fox in Melanie Griffith’s role! —

I'm quite serious.

Hibbidy-Wah?! Get Out Of There!

Posted on May 5, 2010 by sgottahurt

I never realized how often characters in movie and TV shows were in so much trouble, they didn’t know they should leave. Hence the birth (and overuse) of the infamous uttering, “Get out of there!” and its ilk.

Thank heaven for 7 Eleven that no one’s ever told me to “Get out of there!”

Now “Get out of here!” I’ve heard plenty…

(via The Daily What and Pajiba)

Hibbidy-Wah?! NintenDon’t Go There!

Posted on March 20, 2010 by sgottahurt

Video games feel like they’ve been around forever. Sure, they might not always have been electronic, or in a sense (lost) “video,” but people have always used games as a distraction. What I’m trying to say is this: painting the Sistine Chapel was no different from a marathon run of World of Warcraft. Michelangelo was bored (for four years), and this was his distraction.

I guess that’s the essence of what I’m getting at… video games, or the need for distractions, is eternal. Well, maybe not eternal. Only since we as a human species haven’t had to worry about getting eaten by wild animals, die from the simple cold, or basically fight to survive. Wait. Scratch all that.

What I really want to say is thank Pong that video games exist. And thank Pong this game doesn’t:

And thank Pong this kid recorded his experiment in tastelessness (perhaps) and ignorance (definitely):

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Hibbidy-Wah?! Video Game“, posted with vodpod

Do you think I’d get the same response if my gamer tag was PongDiedLOL? Or what if instead of painting this:

This took four years? Heh. I could do it in two... hundred.

Ol’ Michelangelo painted this:

Get it? It's like Ping-Pong minus the Ping!

Also acceptable (and probably the better joke):

And the Lord said, "Let there be... Me-damn it! You scored again, Adam! Keep this up, and I'm making you a girlfriend that will keep interrupting you!"

Hibbidy-Wah?! The Grand Collection Of Actors! Acting!

Posted on March 8, 2010 by sgottahurt

Step right up and marvel at the wonder! Come along and wonder at the marvel! See Actors! at the top of their games, doing it all for you!

See the cast of The Big Bang Theory smacking their comedy chops for big laughs!

See Kristen Bell (correct spelling) and Christian Bale steal scenes from one another, until they become one!

Experience the range of emotions and desires that only the magnificent Harrison Ford can display!

Watch in fear what would happen if Captain Kirk (born William Shatner) fell off the deep end because of extensive drug use!

Hibbidy-Wah?! The Limit Of Pointlessness, Which Is Either Redundant Or An Oxymoron

Posted on February 24, 2010 by sgottahurt

This video leaves me equally speechless and wishing for a friend… one that would travel down the road and back again and kick this guy in the nuts for freaking me the fuck out!

BTW, where’s Sophia?

To think, I was going to post this video and leave it at that:

Hibbidy-Wah?! Somebody Needs A Hug (…E-Gram)

Posted on February 14, 2010 by sgottahurt

This salesman is having a vewy bad day…

What he needs is one of these!

I kind of like how the red Hug-E-Gram crosses out the one lady. I really like how the salesman swears with reckless abandon.

If time machines existed, I would go ahead in time one week to pick up the Hug-E-Gram I’d order today, then I’d go back 50 or so years and bring him a set of plush arms so he could record that message of love for his boss.

Hibbidy-Wah?! Loco Local Kids Show

Posted on February 4, 2010 by sgottahurt

Not the picture I set out to find, but a joy nonetheless.

I’ve searched, and I’ve searched, and I’ve searched for some things on the web that I thought I would never find.

Two such misses, and one hit:

1) There was a radio ad for Orange Crush that was so ridiculous it would be redonkulous. In it, two terrible voice actors try to sound like hip high-schoolers, and these things happen:

They both talk about watching one of their moms work out
They refer to Orange Crush as OC
The friend hints that he wants to bang his friend’s mom

And that’s just the tip of the slimy iceberg, written in the corporate Poochie kind of thinking. Fitness MILF’s – check. Slang terms – check. Dumb sounding high schoolers – check…

Pick your Poochie

Every time I heard it, I wished I had a quicker record feature on my phone, or that my blog was famous so I could sic my fans on the TripleDoubleU to track this down.

2) There’s a local plastic surgeon that had a fantastic commercial on TV for a while. In it, the announcer explained all the feats he was capable of performing, and the camera zoomed in and swirled around him and his folded arms. He nodded his head at each accomplishment in complete amazement and agreement. The best part – he was floating in the sky.But alas, he has one TV ad on his website, and this one it ain’t.

3) This one I found. Even though it’s heart is in the right place, the show’s format would make Tim and Eric jealous. It’s entitled K.E.Y.S. Kids, and it is a low-budget trip fest. To begin, K.E.Y.S. is an acronym for Kids Enjoy Your Selves, which basically makes the full title Kids Enjoy Your Selves Kids.