JusWondering… Why Aren’t There More Mythical Moves Named After Players

Currently, a certain phone company is running a campaign featuring Alexander Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals:

He uses that stick to keep from tipping over.

In the ad, they play with his name and create a mythical move… the Ovechtrick.  In other words, “a hat-trick of hat-tricks.”  In other-other words, “nine goals.”  It’s not an impossible move, but it is insanely unlikely.  (The most goals scored in one game was 7… by Joe Malone… in 1920.)

So I was JusWondering, what other mythical moves could be invented based upon famous athletes names?  Here are a few…

THE PETE RAISE, A.K.A. THE RE-PETE ROSE

I bet you didn't see this joke coming.

This move, named after Cincinnati Reds’ legend Pete Rose (‘natch), is a daring tactic.  Comparable to the let it ride, it involves putting everything on the line, much like how the player played the game of baseball.  It differs only in the sense that it always works.

Here he is, putting it all on the line.

Like the Ovechtrick above, the Pete Raise is a mythical move, not to be used at any casino, or when online betting @ BetUS.com… unless you’re feeling luckier than Pete Rose, of course.

THE YELLOW FAVRE

It's highly contagious.

Not quite on the level as (in fact, it’s nowhere near) another disease named after a sports legend (*tugs collar uncomfortably*), this mythical disease causes a player to keep moving, not just on the field, but from team to team.  And not in any quiet fashion.  The move must be made into a BIG DEAL.

You do not want to get a call from this guy. Or a text, apparently.

Initially thought to be isolated to one man and one sport, it appears that The Yellow Favre is spreading…

Told ya it was contagious.

THE SHAQ FREE

He's immune to the Yellow Favre.

Not to be confused with Shaq Fu (or Steel for that matter), this is the mythical move in which Shaquille O’Neal never misses a free-throw.  This is the most magical move of all.  Mostly because Shaq has the luck of the Irish on his side.  Perhaps he might want to take his chances with The Pete Raise?

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Disney Channel Meets MGM Gambling

I knew that someday the decision (or should I say gamble?) to build this park…

disneymgm

For the longest time, I misread it as "Miggum."

…would one day lead to a synergistic nightmare like this…

suitelife

Gold plaque! Wood grain! It's like they're twins! Fraternal, of course...

Disney’s television productions might not be the most soul-enriching shows in the world, but I never thought I’d see the day that the MGM Grand Casino in Detroit would use such a similar logo to promote a gambling contest.  I mean, kids that still watch The Suite Life of Zack and Cody shouldn’t be cross-marketed to in this fashion.  They are nowhere near old enough to be spending that kind of dough in an adult establishment on their allowances.  I’m not saying I’m against kids partaking in poker, roulette, or craps, but– wait, huh?

They did what?  Disney and MGM are no longer partnered together at the park, and they’ve got a new name?

disneyhollywood

I preferred Phil Collins' idea of redubbing it "Disney's Stu-Stu-Studio."

So, yeah… never mind this InASense, Lost.  Let’s chalk it up to a Coinkydink (coincidence) or a Coinkydonk (on purpose), because sometimes you never know what kind of gambles executives are willing to make.

My Life Is A Mess! (Now With Instructional Videos)

Considering my friend boss, Paul, is out of town, and he yelled at me for not posting another one of his lists before he left for vacation, I figured I’m not going to do much work this week.  In fact, I’ve considered paying somebody mere dollars to do a big job just so I can sit at home and do, well, pretty much the same thing I plan to do at the office.

Considering the result of such actions might lead to me getting the boot, I really appreciate this video’s suggestions for helping me to find a new job:

Come to think of it, my love life of late has loved being late!  Ha!  Wait, that sounds like I got someone pregnant.

Anywhereintheworldiscarmensandiego, here’s another instructional video.  This one is supposed to help me with the ladies:

If all else fails, I could learn how to play the slots from this guy:

(Thanks to Everything is Terrible my life is back on track!)