fox news

InASense, Lost… Dolls That Get Breastfed? Whatever Happened To Dolls That Just Pooped?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I suppose on some level, this was inevitable:

Mattel and Hasbro are chomping at the bit

Mattel and Hasbro are chomping at the tit, I mean, bit

Spain has introduced the world to Bebé Glotón (Gluttonous Baby), the, um, world’s first breastfeeding doll.  Sold in Europe for 44 Euros (about $63 here), it’s priced at almost double that amount on eBay, and that got me wondering… would Americans be willing to pay so much for such a product?  Who better to check in with than some Texans (because everything’s bigger there and we’ve been repeatedly told not to mess with them):

Hrm… that was fairly balanced and forthright.  But I like my stirring pot a bit meatier, so take it away Fox News (and very low-cut bloused, healthily-bosomed lady right there at the 0:04 mark… her genius is further exposed at the 1:54 mark):

YES!  Feel the uproariousness amidst the silliness!  I’ve already been “outraged” by stripper shoes for babies!  What’s next?  Umbilical cord piercings?  Toddler thongs?!  (Can I even type these things?)

If I’m gone tomorrow, know that I couldn’t type those things.  Or I started an umbilical cord piercing business…

(via Feministing)

JusWondering… Unexplainable Crushes

Posted on by sgottahurt

CRUSH #1
judgemilian

Exhibit "Ay... how you doin'?"

Don’t judge me on this short list of unexplainable crushes… unless you’re Judge Marilyn Milian, of course.  As the host of People’s Court, Judge Milian hands out her decisions with a sexy rasp (and huge gold hoop earrings) every weekday, and I get weak in the knees.  Whenever I catch her show, I can’t catch my breath.  It’s not uncommon for me to wonder what she’s wearing under that robe… (I’m thinking, three-piece pantsuit… you?)

CRUSH #2

meghanmccain

McCain is McAble (I don't know what that's meant to imply... I'm still in pun mode)

As it was with the political-minded girls in high school (and especially college), Meghan McCain is no exception to the “she’s cute but kinda annoying” rule.  Whether on Fox News or the Colbert Report, unless you’re really interested in her viewpoints, I have a crush on her more because she’s so passionate about “things” that I guess are kinda important, than because of what her stances are on said “things.”  Sexist?  Probably.  But unless Meghan’s telling me why (or a comely coed, for that matter), I’m not listening.  Well, I’m not listening either way, at least for some, I’d pretend.

CRUSH #3

As for my crush on Kseniya Simonova… I still don’t know much about her other than this video.  Perhaps the performance is explanation enough:

CRUSH #4

Erin+Esurance

Pink hair is so 2000-late, but Erin still works it well.

I have no excuse for my crush on Erin Esurance, but be warned: do not Google Image her with SafeSearch off.