Nowadays, Amanda fights in mixed-martial arts, and in the midst of fighting she looks like the fast-running character from The Battle for Endor named Teek:
Teddy bearshave been around since the conception ofPresident Theodore Roosevelt decided not to shoot a bear tied to tree in 1902, deeming it unsportsmanlike.
What one really has to do with the other, I don’t know, but keeping that in mind, it sort of paves the way for these future misappropriations of cute widdle fuzzy teddy bears by popular culture, whether it’s…
The Jetsons Movie creating a Teddy-2 in an attempt to mine cash from later-generation youngsters (did I mention Teddy-2’s father works in a mine?)
George Lucasforce-ing “primitives” to battle inept clones (must watch this vid)
After having bee trapped in my home for the last sixty hours (57.5 of which were probably spent on the couch) due to a snow storm, I finally ventured out last night. Grant it, my car got stuck in the driveway, but I still managed to head out to one of my old dives.
While there, my friend, Jay, and I watched football highlights and waxed poetic about the old days in the joint. We talked about whether the Lions would fail us and actually win a game. And we laughed at the amateurs playing in a televised poker tournament (one woman named Ellen had no poker face, but she was kicking aces!)
On the ride back to the neighborhood, a conversation came up about Under Armour. Don’t know how, but it proabably had to do with insulated clothing in the cold. He brought up how they have cold weather lines and hot weather lines. I wondered if I should invest in the hot weather line when I play soccer, yada yada. The part that made me laugh was when Jay described the technology they use.
“Wicket,” I thought he said first.
“Like the Ewok?” I asked.
“Wicked,” he repeated.
“Like the porn company?” I wondered.
We didn’t get to me mishearing Wiccan, and I think we decided on Wicket (I can’t find anything about this on their site or Wiki page), but it reminded me of one of my all time favorite comedy scenes in a movie. It’s from “Roxanne.”
It’s subtle – sure. But I love misheard-based humor. Here’s the lyrics for a song I wrote when I had a band named Monkey Spank Monkey Do that eventually became oddcookie. (This sight was thatclose to having the original band name, but I was afraid of what type of people might visit). We never did much as a band anyway. Sorry I’m not attaching the music. Whatever you make up in your head will probably be better anyway.
Simianuff
That day that you told me You didn’t want to see me
Anymore I just didn’t know
I wanted to ask you why
You didn’t even start to cry
Up and out you gave this reply:
You never simianuff, you never simianuff, you never simianuff
After that I had went on home
My mind so far it had been blown
Away by your rationale
I wanted to ask what you
Meant by saying “simianuff”
But I didn’t want to piss you off
So in turn I became primate
And bought myself a monkey suit
Bananas and “Tree Climbing Monthly”
I hope I’m simian enough, I hope I’m simian enough, I hope I’m simian enough
I started hanging around you
Quite often literally
Being my new simian self
You acted like I was
Insane, was what you called me
I only did what I was told
So you said, “I’ll see you around”
Mumbled something under your breath
I haven’t ever seen you since
You never see me enough, you never see me enough, you never see me enough
You’re never seein’ me enough, you never simian enough, you never simianuff…
Oh fuck…
(P.S. I must also have a fascination with monkeys.)
Jar Jar Binks was the beginning and the end of “Star Wars” for most. It was the clearest sign that George Lucas had lost his damned mind, and the pandering to kids that began with the Ewoks in “Return of the Jedi” (which was fine when I was a kid), had spiraled out of control. And it wasn’t just the fans that thought this.
Additionally, Rob Coleman, who was the lead on the Industrial Light & Magic animation team, warned Lucas that there was concern among the team that the character of Jar Jar was coming across poorly for the team and how the character was to be projected. Lucas told him that he especially put Jar Jar in the film to appeal to small children. After that, the issue was dropped.
So after all is said and done – why would I choose to defend Jar Jar? As he is, I can say nothing. But of what he could have been – I have to say this.
I believe in George Lucas’ out-of-touch brain, he had grander plans for Jar Jar, besides having him be at fault for giving Palpatine power in Episode II (heaven help me for writing this… all of this.) I think it was the fan backlash that shrunk Jar Jar’s role.
Even if he didn’t have better intentions for Jar Jar, I believe the series would have benefited from having a permanent sidekick for Anakin. Jar Jar, the simple creature he was, could have been used to contrast how far into darkness Anakin decended. Jar Jar could have been his confidant when he Obi-Wan pissed him off. Jar Jar could have ran interference to distract others when Anakin was hooking up with Amidala. Then, when the moment arrived where Anakin had chosen his destiny… when he wiped out all those little Jedi kids… how much more powerful would it have been for Anakin’s best bud to walk in and catch him doing such horrible things? Anakin, realizing how far he has fallen, would then lash out and destroy the mirror of his lost innocence – Jar Jar.
Especially after what Jar Jar would probably have said: “Ani, whatsa yooza doin?”
(If you’re brave enough, there’s a pic of the hotness that is me after jump…)
If you ask any self-respecting “Star Wars” fan (they do exist) what their favorite film is in the trilogy, they’ll most often respond, “Empire Strikes Back.” (There’s no need to say original trilogy because the other three flicks don’t exist – how’s that for denial?)
I used to say “Return of the Jedi,” because I was eight, and I liked the Ewoks. But as the real-life encroached upon me like Vader’s Star Destroyer over the Tantive IV (I’ve said too much), the cynicism and hopelessness of the second film connected with me… even though I still like the Ewoks (I’ve really said too much).
The bounty hunters should have fought each other in a Bloodsport-style tournament. All those awesome characters, and all George Lucas can give us is the non-canon Tales of the Bounty Hunters, which is in book form, making it very hard to imagine how everything that happens looks. In ESB, we see Bossk sneer at Boba Fett—and that’s it. That breaks one of the cardinal rules in Robert McKee’s Story:If one character sneers at another and they don’t throw down later, the movie is ruined. The fix:“You are free to use any methods necessary,” Vader says, “but I want them alive. No disintegrations.”
“As you wish,” Fett answers. He looks at the other bounty hunters. “Not that you crumbheads will have to worry about finding them anyway.” Dengar bristles. “Who are you calling a crumbhead?” [Note: “Crumbhead” is a total Corellian insult.] He steps to Fett.
“Watch it,” Fett says. “My dad killed most of the Jedi.” There is silence. Finally, IG-88 says, “That’s quite a stretch.”
“Enough!” Vader yells. “We will settle this in the cage.”
Check it out for some interesting complaints. Otherwise, we’ll have to settle this… in the cage.
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 