Awful Battle… Infomercial Ideas

There are few stones left unturned in this world when it comes to new inventions and products.  Until robots or nanotechnology really take off, we’re left with these bright and shiny new ideas.

AWFUL BATTLE… GO!

Tired of staring at ladies’ asses, and not feeling any real connection?  Then howzabout these!

Do you wish your dog would not be such an animal, and crap all over this place in public?  Then you might be interested in this for your mutt’s butt!

Tired of torturing your small yappers by forcing tight sweaters over their head?  Then you’re an idiot and you’ll love this!

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JusWondering… Do I Have A Heart? Surprisingly, Yes

I was at my mom’s house today for some free grub, and she was was watching a rerun of Oprah.  It was a compilation of old segments that wowed and moved her (Oprah, not my ma, as far as I know), and I was regarding it without being wowed and/or moved.  Sure, Criss Angel and David Blaine can be interesting, and Terry Fator and Paul Potts’ stories are inspiring, but otherwise, meh

Then Faith appeared (this is not the actual show footage, but you’ll get the gist of it):

Instant tears.  Let me say this: there is no amount of free food that makes my sudden outpouring of emotion worth it.  Almost no amount of food (a pepperoni pizza with Cajun crust and double cheese is a good start).

(SIDENOTE: In regard to Opie & Anthony, the third segment of the above video – I didn’t know assholes could walk on two legs.)

On the lighter side of doggy’s overcoming obstacles:

Awful Battle… Doggie Style, Literally

Much ballyhoo has been made of late in regard to a sex toy aimed at horny dogs.  (How highbrow does that sentence sound?  Dog whistle high?)

Anyhound, this is the latest offering in a joke of a world that never gets old:

dog_love_doll-2

By far, it is not the first, or the worst.  And that’s when I smell an Awful Battle in the air.  (Maybe I shouldn’t have said smell…)

AWFUL BATTLE… GO!

In My Brain While Sleeping… Animal Fights – GO!

I must confess.  That header probably indicates way more excitement than my actual dream entailed.  What made this dream stay with me was the fact that it was so unbelievably dumb, it awakened me giggling.  It wasn’t laughing, it wasn’t chortling… it was merely tee-hee.

The fight in question: Blowfish vs. Starfish.

(Sort of) Artistic Representation

(Sort of) Artistic Representation

Now where could this dream have originated in my subconscious?  It could have been from watching this preview:

Not only is Renegade the star, but Deborah/Debbie Gibson is Acting! in this CGI monstrosity as well?  Sign me up!  (You see, Debbie Gibson is my first concert experience and an early crush… *blush*)

How about some other animal fight options?

INGREDIENTS: A sole chicken finger from the bar and lotsa agua.