There’s a reason I record everything on my DVR – I can’t stand commercials anymore. Now in some cases, it leads me to discover the existence of new shows, such as Chris Elliott’s Eagleheart:
But in most cases, it reminds me that “Yes Virginia, crap does exist.” Behold:
Let this be known – I tried so hard to block this film from my mind, but it’s found me, despite my best defenses… of a quick jump button on my DVR remote.
Ugh… there’s something I need to admit to all of you…
…um, how do I say this…
I entered a contest to name Justin Bieber’s movie. I didn’t win, and I’m afraid I’m taking it out on the finished product. Obviously, this won:
What. The. Fahrvergnugen. Why isn’t “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose” on official DVD yet. There are bootlegs aplenty, but I’m waiting for a Shout! Factory version or for Sony to pony up and put out.
For those of you that don’t remember this show, or never heard of it at all, the breakdown is this: it’s a rip-offan homage based on similar to “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”
Parker Lewis was played by the guy who played Jonas Quinn in “Stargate SG-1″… no, you don’t know? How about the guy in “RoboDoc?” Um… his name is Corin Nemec (which sounds made up – an anagram of Icemen Corn?), and he’s been here and there through the years, but nothing quite as loud-shirted as he was on this show. (I forgot that’s why I had so many polyester button-downs in high school.)
He was the guy who had all the plans for getting away with any scheme rated PG, which he commonly preceded with the phrase, “Not a problem.”
His best bud was rocker Mikey Randall. He was played by the kid who played Blanche’s wayward nephew in an early “Golden Girls” episode. Not helping? He also had a recurring role on “Silver Spoons.” His real name is Billy Jayne. He played a coach on one episode of “The Bernie Mac Show” if that triggers any memories. See, that’s why this needs to be on DVD.
The only other faces you may recognize are Principal Grace Musso. She was played by Melanie Chartoff who was on “Get a Life” with Chris Elliott. Um, that’s not on DVD either.
Okay… the big guy on campus, Larry Kubiak, was played by the guy who played the, um, big guy in “ER.” His name is Abraham Benrubi.
Howzabout Parker’s little sister Sherry? Maia Brewton was also in “Adventures in Babysitting.” Remember? She liked Thor? Hilarious!
Okay, maybe Parker Lewis didn’t make much of a cultural impact, but it certainly was a product of its time. Is it too much to ask for it to simply be a product?
I’m nursing a bit of a ‘gover right now (y’know… shorthand for hangover), so I’m going to roll these out as best as I can.
First order up – Chris Elliott has a daughter, Abby. Now it’s not weird that this guy has daughter:
And it’s not weird that I’m very attracted to her (her impersonation of Kirsten Dunst):
What is weird is there is a family resemblance… Maybe that explains why I’ve been dreaming about Chris Elliott for all these years…
Anywhopper, the point of this post is that Abby is joining the cast of Saturday Night Live, as well as Michaela Watkins. If any of Chris Elliott’s knack for oddball comedy has rubbed off on her (wait, that sounds gross), then SNL will be that much better for having her (and much easier on the eyes… goodbye crush on Kristen Wiig!)
The only good thing to come out of five “Scary Movies”:
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