Songs Burned In Our Brains From Grade School (A Musical Musings/My Boss Paul’s Top Five List Joint)

Ah, the good ol’ days.  That’s what people say when they reflect upon their youth.  

For my boss (and old friend) Paul and I, the good ol’ days in our Catholic grade school happened way before they were our good ol’ days, as evidenced by our textbooks.  Most notably: our music class textbooks. 

I know, I know… at least we had a music class.  Nowadays, all of the arts are disappearing from our schools (for shame!), but that’s not what this post is about.

The fact of the matter was that we had crappy old text books and a music teacher that could barely play the one instrument she claimed to be able to play (the flute).  Sure, it was unfortunate that she replaced the single greatest music teacher ever.  (He played “Name That Tune” on the piano – and they were always theme songs!)  The following list represents the worst of the songs we were taught… four oldies, one newie, and zero goodies.

Top 5 Songs Burned In Our Brains From Grade School

5. Little Boxes – Malvina Reynolds
Paul doesn’t really remember this one, hence it being placed at the bottom spot.  I couldn’t forget it, and Weeds wouldn’t let me… until season 4 at least.

4. Du, du liegst mir im Herzen – German folk song
Paul refused to sing this song hence to him being xenophobic; but then again he refused to sing any of the songs.  For me – it’s my 99 Luftballons.

3. Shortnin’ Bread – James Whitcome Riley
Paul despised (no, loathed!) this song.  I didn’t remember it at first, but then it all came crashing back to me like a repressed memory.

2. God Bless the USA – Lee Greenwood
The only current-ish song on the list was also an exercise in irritation.  We had to sing this at a recital, and as everyone knows – recitals blow.  What’s worse is that we had to hold up signs that read Detroit when we sang that line.  Because we lived in Detroit, oh say can you see.

1. Fender Bender – ? 
This song presented a unique situation for us.  For virtually nowhere on the TripleDoubleU, could we find ant reference to this song.  The only proof that it ever existed arrived via a MySpace Forum.  It the thread, a reference is made to the lyrics:

Fender bender, yeah yeah yeah!

The poster recalled the misspoken lyric:

Finger banger, yeah yeah yeah!

Which ceremoniously lead to the diddy being banned (band?) from music class.  Thanks, Mack Danger, for the memory backup!

I wish we would have thought of "finger banger"...

I wish we would have thought of "finger banger"...

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Drunken Recollection… Supercalifrag-Religion-Expialidocious

Religion would not seem to be a great topic of conversation while imbibing libations, but in my group of friends… well, you can only tell so many bathroom horror stories.

Since all of us (pretty much) were born and raised Catholics, all of us (pretty much) are no longer.  So topics about what we are, where we’ll go, and how many blue cars there are come up often.  One of the common ones – which bands are religious and claim/pretend not to be.

Recently, it was brought up about this band, and this album, and the song Shine:

Whoa... heaven let your light shine down.

Whoa... heaven let your light shine down.

Does it mean they are religious?  Quite the opposite.  From their Wikipedia page:

Ed Roland was reading Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead and came across the phrase “collection of souls.” Although author Ayn Rand actually uses the phrase in a negative connotation, using the “collective soul” as a threat to the main character’s sense of individualism, Ed is quick to point out, “…we’re not preaching Ayn Rand, objectivism, egoism, or anything…we just dug the name…” and “it [the band’s name] could’ve come out of a Motorcycle Magazine.”

There have been other bands we’ve accused, such as Vertical Horizon (because their name describes a cross, but they seem like a basic college band), The Fray (made up of non-proselytizing Christians), Lifehouse (started as Christian band called Blyss, but they’re no longer that way) , and Switchfoot (name comes from surfing, but they have played Christian rock concerts).  It’s interesting that none of them claim to be 100% Christian Rock bands (because how else could they sell to the masses, so to speak).

I just think they’re afraid to be associated with this kind of stuff:

(via the incredible Everything is Terrible)

And in the same way, could I say I enjoyed their music if they were considered CCM (Contempory Christian Music)?

F OSU... Y not YMCA?

Why OHIO? Why not YMCA?

Anonymous Fans Of Anonymous Unsafe Sex

This topic has been bothering me for a couple days.  I’m not supposed to know some fact, according to my friend’s girlfriend, and since he promised her he wouldn’t say, he didn’t say.  But he gave clues.

And remember – I may be addicted to guessing games.

The sitch is this: my friend found out some girl we know has never used protection.  He was stunned by this fact and said his opinion of her dropped (you can take the boy out of Catholicism but you can’t take the brainwashing out of the boy).

I don’t condone unsafe sex, but I don’t judge.  I simply assume everyone’s filthy, and I worry about myself.  Actually, I do hold it against girls that sleep with known douchebag-whore men, but that’s neither here nor there.

I had my guesses and made my chart accordingly, but too be honest… I never held any of my options in saintly regard in the first place, or they’re since married (in that order).  I think it would take someone close to me that had this bad habit to shock me, and luckily not many ladies I know have daughters (if the mystery woman had a son, this could have meant serious trouble).

whoknows

(And by "partied" I mean just that.)

In contrast to my friend’s opinion: I’m offended by the tattoo situation.  She wants to get a tattoo of her daughter’s name, and it’s going to take two $600 sessions, which my friend swears will probably take her to three of four.  She has financial woes of some sort – yet she’s taking a loan for tattoos. 

Hello impending Idiocracy.