cartoon network

JusWondering… How Does This Even Qualify As A Cartoon?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Is this just a pog for the digital age? Really, I’m seriously asking…

I watch more cartoons than I should.  In fact, depending on the time of the year, my DVR may be 33% full of animated hijinks.

But this show… this show makes me feel like a parent (which I’m not).  Of all the swill shilling shit programming out there, this one… this one… you just need to see:

If the opening of BeyWheelz: Powered by BeyBlade is too unbearable to sit through, allow me to present a sample battle scene from this show:

Yes.  You saw exactly what you saw.  Two wheels riding into each other.  Not animals popping out of balls or cards.  Wheels.  Or pardon me, Wheelz.

These Wheelz.  Or pardon me, BeyWheelz.

I wonder if each set is based on a different episode.

Hasbro has gotten sloppy, power-hungry, or durrr since the success of the brain-dead-on-arrival Transformer films.  Even the cinematic floater called Battleship made them money in the worldwide market.  Perhaps their just setting their sights on dumb-proofing children so that one day a live-action BeyWheelz will be another future summer blockbuster.

Wait a second… BeyWheelz… Michael Bay… it might already be too late… 

Awesome Battle… How Did These Slip Under My Radar?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m an adult.  I know this.  I try to remind myself of this fact every day.  I own a house.  I drink beer legally.  I have to use my arms and my legs to stand up from sitting.

So it’s fitting that at least one of the items in this Awesome Battle contains the word adult…

There is an incredible show on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim that no one but my friend, Chris, and I watch.

It’s entitled Delocated, and here’s a sample:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Sure, I should have set up the video, but I like to throw people in the deep end, let them get their feet wet and water in their lungs, you know.  Essentially, it’s a fake reality (?) show about a family in the witness protection program, and it’s so absurd I absolutely love it.  Season 2 premieres August 22, and I can’t believe I missed it during its initial run.

This second item… I’m not too proud about my excitement.

Apparently, some time between me leaving grade school and starting high school, these toys were out in stores:

Computer Warriors?!?  Fucking robots hiding inside soccer balls, flashlights, and Pepsi cans?!?  Mattel must have been trying to capitalize on the success of M.A.S.K. (my all-time favorite toy line) and Transformers, but just a tad too late or too early.  If these would have lasted on the market, or arrived on the scene two years later when I had my first job at a toy store, I would have had them all.

But I’m an adult.  I shouldn’t try winning some of them on eBay…

…but I will.

Happy Find… Maria Bamford

Posted on by sgottahurt

Don’t know what it is about Maria Bamford, but after watching this, I was wiping tears from my eyes.  It wasn’t that I was laughing too hard… it was because I was crying.

I first discovered Maria when she was on “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” 

Click here to see the must-see clip, whether you like the clip above or not.  Thisssss – I command!

(from MilkandCookies)