In My Brain While Sleeping… Tweaking Existing Toylines

Those that claim to know me might say that I’m a child at heart.  Those that really know me would call me an overgrown child.  According to my subconscious, I have the mind of a child.  I prefer to say I’m living the 13 year-old me’s dream…

This set of dreams involved a pair of toy collections that I’ve previously mentioned on this post, but were sort of blended together.  It was the Lego Batman video game, and though I haven’t played it in a while, that did not prevent me from dreaming that there was a Batman toy collection that was kind of like a model train town set (Exhibit A) and a bit like Playmobil (Exhibit B).

Tiny figurines representing each of the characters could be purchased, as well as scenery components, and you could assemble a miniature Gotham City similar to Exhibit C.  I guess there’s a toy line called Imaginext that’s kind of like what I envisioned (Exhibit D), but I still imagine(xt) something much darker…

Where the other half of the Lego Batman connection ends up has nothing to do with a Lego town (Exhibit E).  It’s more like the Marvel Legends action figure collection (Exhibit F).  Every Lego set you purchased could be put together (or should I say combined because of course Lego sets are put together) with other Lego sets to make bigger predisposed items.  Again, not like Exhibit E, but like how Galactus is assembled in Exhibit F.

You see, Galactus’ head comes with Professor X, and other pieces of him are packaged along with five other figures in that series.  So if you buy all six figures, you can make Galactus.  That’s how the Lego sets worked…

Never mind.

You’re adults… you don’t understand.

JusWondering… Will These Movies Ever See The Light Of Day?

It was just announced last week the Masters of the Universe movie was cancelled, and although the version in the works sounded craptastic, it pains me a bit to know that a live action version is further away.  But given the track record with cartoons about toys being given their due on the silver screen, I think a lot of those dues haven’t been paid, nor will they.  Sure, in ten years Transformers or G.I. Joe may or may not get rebooted, but will I care?  (Odds are yes.  Because technically, this MOTU a reboot, and I do care.)

I apologize for the fact that I posted this video almost a year ago, but it’s too awesome and helpful in imagining what a He-Man movie could be like:

And how bad ass would this Thundercats movie be:

Plus, with the fate of the third Batman film from director Christopher Nolan up in the air, does this whet your appetite?

Batman 3

I'm not drooling, am I?

Finally, and this is definitely off-topic but in line with the post’s title, has anyone ever seen this movie?

The secret of his suck-cess

The secret of his suck-cess

Hibbidy-Wah?! Dim-Witted Heroes And Babies Cussing At Cancer Spots

I know my co-workers found no joy in these videos.  They succinctly and collectively proclaimed, “I don’t get it.”

Sure, the animated shorts might be a “little bit wrong” (I pretend the heroes have been in a few too many losing battles), but I find Baman and Piderman entertaining.  (The latest video is below; the other videos are here.)  I can’t say that I “get it” exactly either, and it might mean that I’m a “little bit wrong.” 

Perhaps a little bit wrong can be all right.

If you found that distasteful or unfunny, maybe this is more your speed:

InASense, Lost… Super Inappropriate Squirt Guns And Bonus Grossness

In the spirit of all things summer-y, I thought I’d whip out this classic gem of a toy (maybe I shouldn’t have said whip out).  Despite it pissing your parents off for creating quite a mess, the Oozinator may be the worst thing aimed at kids ever (maybe I shouldn’t have said aimed at kids).  Even the acting is highly inappropriate.  Things to take note of in this commercial (and quickly forget): the way the gun has to be charged and the reaction shots to getting blasted.

Okay, so maybe the Oozinator’s not the absolute worst in product design:



There are two words that I cannot hear without instantly being grossed out: cyst and polyp.  Add this video to the mix.  Believe you me, I’d rather watch 100 clips of girls and guys and single cups and broken bottles and egg chutes (well maybe not), than the entirety of the following footage ever again.

All I Want For Christmas Is… The Dark Knight Returns (Or Whatever Batman 3 Will Be)

Please…?  Pretty, pretty please?

I can only take so much withholding before I just die.

I’ll be nice to my brother.  I’ll even be nice to my sisters, I guess.

Christopher Nolan, all I want is a promise.  A contract can come later.  All I want for Christmas is to know that there will be a third Batman movie (presumably, “The Dark Knight Returns,” but I hope it’s called something better.)

There’s this guy that calls himself Max Doomsday at an excellent blog called Atomic Gadfly, and he’s got the next movie all figured out:

(These) are the characteristics I’d draw on for my depiction of the Penguin. He’d be a successful professional criminal fronting as a businessman and philanthropist, who’s bought his way into Gotham high society. In a way, he’d be very much like Bruce Wayne – wealthy industrialists moving in the same social circle, and both leading double lives. But each man should recognize that the other is not quite what he seems.

The Penguin could be setting himself up as one of the city’s major benefactors – helping finance the rebuilding of Gotham General Hospital, bringing new jobs to the city, even donating equipment to the police department. But his goal is to create a sense of security for the people of Gotham. After all, they’ve just lived through the attacks on the city by Ra’s al Ghul and the Joker. The Penguin figures that if people feel like things are returning to normal, they’ll be so relieved that they won’t pay attention to what might be going on behind the scenes.

Remember, by the end of The Dark Knight, the Joker and Two-Face had killed off some of Gotham’s top mob figures. So the Penguin sees an opportunity to move in and set himself up as the new kingpin. Publicly, he appears to be working to “bring Gotham back” (as Batman once said), but privately, in the shadows, he’s building his criminal empire.

Max Doomsday even goes on to describe his appearance and his trademarks, and how to make him real.  (Hire him to help write the script!)  Another highlight is how the Penguin would get his name:

It’s not hard to imagine a scene – maybe a conference of mob leaders – where Oswald has arrived from some formal gala, still in his tux, and somebody makes a crack about how he looks in his “penguin suit.” So Oswald kills the guy, or orders him killed. Hell, maybe he crushes the guy’s windpipe with an umbrella. (I don’t know if your standard umbrella’s actually strong enough to do that. I’m just throwin’ out the idea.) Or maybe the insult occurs in a more public setting, embarrassing Oswald in front of his moll and his high society friends.

Either way, the story gets around. From then on, Oswald’s called “the Penguin.” Never, ever to his face, but sneeringly, behind his back, like “Scarface” or “Bugsy.”

So Chris Nolan – whuttayathink?  I’ll put my two-cents in (ha ha… like Two-Face… not really).  I say make Tiny Lister’s tattooed prisoner become Killer Croc (he’s the guy who threw the charge out the window).  Or have Mr. Reese in accounting become the Riddler.  He can go crazy because he wants to tell the world about Bruce Wayne and the Batman, but he feels a great debt is owed… maybe Lucius Fox fires him and that’s what pushes him off the deep end.

Anyharleyquinn, if I can’t get even a hint of a spec of a promise, can I get this instead?


Me wanty... just kidding... not really... :(

Mental Illness As Defined By Female Characters In Superhero Films (A Drunken Recollection/JusWondering Joint)

I have a friend that, as another of my friends pointed out (who is also friends with him), suffers from Mary Jane Watson Syndrome.

Mary Jane Watson Syndrome?” you may ask.  “That’s not in the DSM-IV.”

You’d be the wrong kind of nerd for asking that question, but it is true.  The Mary Jane Watson Syndrome, as explained by my friend (about my other friend):

He likes to make people think he’s doing better than he’s actually doing, because it’s too embarrassing.  Like in the first “Spider-Man” film, when Mary Jane runs into Peter for the first time in New York, and she tells him all the wonderful things she’s accomplished.  Then the short order chef comes out and exposes her lie…

It’s the Mary Jane Watson Syndrome.

Poignant, geeky, and spot-on, for sure.  But it got me wondering – are there other conditions that could be defined by the ladies in superhero films?  I mean, they typically aren’t written as the most stalwart of women.  Otherwise, who would be left for the hero to save if there were no damsels in distress?

(more after the jump) Read More

In My Brain While Sleeping… Product Placement

Richard Chamberlain

Not pictured: Richard Chamberlain... Pictured: floating child head

In a high rise, um, high above Gotham, Bruce Wayne and I were speaking with a third party about investing in the future.

“Stride bubblegum,” Bruce began.  “It’s the taste of the future.”

“And the future is now,” I added.

Bubblegum was growing in petri dishes, and our guest wasn’t sold.  As it turned out, he didn’t have the funds to cover such an investment.  That’s when I pulled out a Capital One credit card.

“It’s the credit card of the future,” Bruce uttered without further prompting.

I merely nodded this time.  As our potential business partner contemplated his next move, an alram sounded through the city (I guess the bat signal wasn’t enough.)  Bruce excused himself.

Soon, there was a giant Shogun Warrior (by Mattel) roaming Gotham’s streets.  I wondered, “How will Batman defeat this monstrosity?”

With a Bat Gundam of course.  (This could happen.  Check here.)

BONUS: Halloween advice from a dream over the weekend – if you want to make a bowl of M&M’s last longer, try cutting them all in half.

INGREDIENTS: Ten hours of surfing the 3x2xU since I was out of town all weekend, coupled with a GladWare storage container full of five-day old Kraft spaghetti.