Happy Find… F— This Website

There’s just something about that four-letter word that I just love.  It could be the way it rolls off the tongue.  It could be that the sensors in the brain deal with pain merely at the utterance of the word.  I’d like to think that it is the most cyclical word in the world.

Two people fuck and then say “fuck” when they find out there’s a little fucker on the way that they can’t say “fuck” in front of anymore.  (In theory, anyway.)

Is it poetic?  Perhaps not, but as I mentioned already, I love that four-letter word.

Which is probably why I enjoy websites that make use of the word in their URL, like these sites.  And this one.  Don’t forget about this, too.

Imagine my glee at the discovery of Fuck This Website.  It’s purpose is as simple as the expletive.  Stickers are posted over existing signs, photos are taken, and images are posted.  It’s not FUCKet science.

More proof that smoking is bad for you.

More proof that smoking is bad for you.

Happy Find… F— You, Penguin

If I was Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry, and I said to someone, “Go ahead… make my day,” and they pulled out their mobile phone with TripleDoubleU access (carefully) to show me this site, I’d let them go (y’know, because they made my day).

The site?  Fuck You, Penguin.  The reason why?  See below.

Now I know it’s from another blogging community, and believe me, I’m not cheating on you my beloved WordPress.  But I believe it is part of my duty to go out and explore, and return like Uncle Traveling Matt with news of my discoveries.  It’s similar to how Detroit has better access to Canadian music, then shares it with the rest of the U.S.  (As a Canadian may say, “Sore-y aboot Nickelback, eh?“)

SIDENOTE: On St. Patrick’s Day, the radio station Mix 96.7 was giving away an Elmo DVD to the first caller that could name the biggest movie star to ever come out of Ireland.  Two people in row answered Mel Gibson.  (There’s so many things wrong in just two sentences.)

But I digress… back to Fuck You, Penguin.  (Not to be confused with my other Happy Find, Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling!)

Some samples:

In regard to this, the Baudet de Poitou Donkey, and there only being four hundred of them, FUP said:


"You better find a mate and start knocking boots, Donkey, so you can start sprouting up like American Apparels. I don't understand how you can be such prudes, seeing as you are French. What, are you saving yourself for the right donkey?"

 Then there’s his tirade at a Porcupine in a tree:

"Very clever, Porcupine. You want me to catch you, don't you? You might have cute little teeth and a furry belly, but you've got giant quills all over your back, and if I come any closer, I'm going to be in a world of pain unmatched even by what your little porcupine paws are doing to me."
“Very clever, Porcupine. You want me to catch you, don’t you? You might have cute little teeth and a furry belly, but you’ve got giant quills all over your back, and if I come any closer, I’m going to be in a world of pain unmatched even by what your little porcupine paws are doing to me.”

I think the stuff is funny as shit poop.  (Ever notice how most words double-o’s are funny for some reason?  Poop, boobs, food… okay maybe just poop and boobs).  You may not.  And if you don’t, I’ll just call you a penguin.

Happy Find… F— Yeah! Ryan Gosling & Anne Hathaway!

Duh-duh-DUHDUH!  Introducing a pair of lovely sites, Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling! and Fuck Yeah! Anne Hathaway!

Gosling’s is a bit Fuck Yeah!-ing-ier than Hathaway’s, but you may think differently.  The basic premise is this – take LOLcats, get rid of the cats, add the respective “Hey girl/dude” tagline followed by normal English, and eliminate the stupid LOLspeak.  Voila!  Some samples:



I feel the creators of these sites are missing out on some other celebrities (although I do love Orson Welles’ quotes on each home page).  For example, what about a Fuck Yeah! William Shatner!


…or even a Fuck Yeah! George Clooney!


…or especially a  Fuck Yeah! Julie Bowen!


And then there’s always this guy:



(via Filmdrunk)

JusWondering… “Nobody Nose” – I Smell A Conspiracy

Little voice, big um...
Little voice, big um…

You know that cringe.  

Tennis shoes and can sing? Marry me
Tennis shoes and can sing? Marry me

That recoiling feeling when something is justnotright.  It’s minor, maybe ignorable, and perhaps even a subconscious tingling, but you still notice it.  When Sara Bareillis first hit the scene with her infectious (will-it-be-one-)hit(-wonder?), “Love Song,” I took note of her CD cover in passing at a Target.  I wondered what she looked like, but I didn’t take the further effort to investigate, um, further, like by simply flipping over the case. 

I didn’t think much about the picture at the time.  It only reminded me of how they made Alanis Morissette mysterious with quick cuts (which seem slow nowadays) in her video for “You Oughta Know.”  (It’s so Nineties it’s hilarious.)

When I finally saw the video, that’s when the cringe hit me.  Could it be?  Would they?

One of my biggest pet peeves in the world is what I’ve come to collectively call: Marketing.  It’s not just about the corporations anymore (though in this case it is).  I hate being sold to, and if you’re a poser, you’re a loser (my lame t-shirt slogan… I bet I could make a shitload off selling it to posers, though).  I try to associate myself with real people for this very reason.  In fact, I think this whole country would be a whole lot better place if people weren’t afraid to be who they really are, and if they don’t know who they are, I’d hope that they could enjoy the ride of trying to figure that out.

Anyhooptyhoo, I find Sara attractive.  I’m a sucker for the chanteuses as it is, and it makes me mad that the marketers of this world (particularly her label), may not have.  They thought she might not sell if the front and back covers were reversed.  These are my own interjections, of course, but this is the same label she directed the song at.  They wanted her to write a catchy pop love song to sell to the masses, and in response, her inner cringe produced a massive hit. 

And what prompted all this old news to get dragged up?  Not as old news that’s become new news due to any upcoming DVD release.

Why cover your costar?
Why cover your costar?
Why cover your star?
Why cover your star?

I felt the cringe when the original posters came out, and I don’t think it was just because they’re not even in the slightest least bit funny…