a christmas carol

Drunken Recollection… Video Games Look Better Than Movies These Days

Posted on by sgottahurt

While kicking back brews and shooting the breeze with my pals, the glow of the TV showing whatever game we’re interested in holds our gaze.  And that’s what it’s all about with us men, so they say.  We’re “visual creatures” allegedly.  Our eyes are too big for our stomachs, and our stomachs are the way to our hearts.  Wait, I got off topic…

Oh, yeah.  During said television events, especially of late, companies have been promoting the hell out of two video games: Left 4 Dead 2 and Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City.

And all I think upon watching these previews is how much more like movies video games are becoming.  I have Unchartered 2: Among Thieves and it’s better than any action picture I’ve seen in a long time (The Dark Knight notwithstanding), and it makes me laugh…

Haven’t we as a public (well I know I have) been bitching about how much movies are starting to look like video games?  I could give two shiitake mushrooms about James Cameron’s Avatar or Robert Zemekis’ A Christmas Carol*, and they’re really no different from the games.  Except for the fact that I partake in one and watch the other… Hmm…

Perhaps men aren’t just “visual creatures” after all… We’re touchy, too.

*I do want to see 2012, and it’s as heavy a CG feast as Avatar.

The Secret To Having A “Mary” Christmas

Posted on by sgottahurt

Here’s a tip for all you last minute shoppers:
 
If you want to get some help at the store, don’t get angry with the sales people and call them an asshole, asshat (my new favorite epithet by the way), fuck face, piece of shit, heartless bastard fuck, fuckup, fucking loser, or ne’er-do-well cocksucker.
 
Get angry and call the sales associate this: Scroogeman.  Apparently it works.  (My aunt was the mastermind behind this – it made the worker do a 180.)
 
My theory on why this is effective is because people get called derogatory terms all year ’round.  Saying Scroogeman drudges up a coded history of bah-humbuggery and it implies that you are seeking out being a bastard.  It may not be full-proof because some people go out of their way to be jerks, but most people working in retail probably have a weak-spot for the Dickens’ classic.
 
So try it… or not.  See if I care.  Merry Christmas, asshats!
You are a Scroogeman!

Itsnotta Scroogeman!