In My Brain While Sleeping… The Simpsons Of The Futurama

Posted on by sgottahurt

To post this picture first might give away the punchline, but here we go anywiggums:

The All-New Depressing Simpsons!

I’ve dreamed in cartoon only once before (and also in comic strip), but now I’m able to add another to the short list.

Somehow, I knew this episode of The Simpsons came from five years from now, when the show would be in something like its 30th season.  Clearly out of ideas, the yellow family revamped itself in this way:

  • In the opening of the episode, it is revealed that Bart won a contest to be home plate umpire in a major league game.
  • For the last call of the game, he calls an outside pitch a strike, and the fans storm the field and trample him, in effect, killing him.
  • Upon further review of the call, it’s revealed at Bart’s wake that he was 100% correct.
  • Despondent, the Simpsons seek out and adopt a baby from Africa that looks a lot like Hermes from Futurama (even though he’s Jamaican).
  • Also, Milhouse moves into their home, since he too is riddled with grief.
  • Every joke that’s attempted throughout the episode falls flat, and a beat following every punchline, Milhouse sobs over what the show has become…

…just like all the old fans.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Orko And The Scooby-Doo Brood

Posted on by sgottahurt

A wise man once said:

Do as I say, and as I BOOM! – Michael Bay

Basically, what that translates into is if you’re lucky to find something that pleases the masses, give ’em more!

This Hollywood trick is also known as The Scooby-Doo Brood.  Almost as soon as the crime-solving canine entered the animated scene, he was a hit amongst his fans, so Hanna-Barbera thought, give ’em more!  And over the course of many, many years, Scooby was brought back and re-purposed in the forms of other family members.

He-Man and the Master of the Universe would later go on to do the same thing with kid-friendly favorite, Orko, and introduce his Trollan Scooby-Doo Brood.

Orko and Scooby-Doo

Orko is the original, just like Scooby-Doo.

Dree-Elle and Scooby-Dee

Dree-Elle is Orko’s love interest, while Scooby-Dee is… SD’s cousin?

Uncle Montork and Yabba-Doo

Well, Orko’s Uncle Montork is obviously his uncle; so Yabba-Doo is… SD’s brother?

Yuckers and Scrappy-Doo

Yuckers is Dree-Elle’s little brother, and Scrappy-Doo is SD’s nephew.  Hrm.

Snoob and Scooby-Dum

Snoob is a misguided Trollan wizard, and Scooby-Dum is just dumb.  I’m not seeing a pattern here at all…

Prankster (Wakrapanike) and Dooby-Doo

Prankster (his real name is Wakrapanike) is the only Trollan to reveal his face, and Dooby-Doo is a rare cousin of SD that has hair.  Aargh!  That’s not even close…

Doctor Zoog and Whoopsy-Doo

How about Doctor Zoog is an evil scientist, and Whoopsy-Doo is a clown…  Grrr!

Okay, well at least this counts:

The website Totally Looks Like states that Orko looks like the Black Mage from the Final Fantasy game series, but in all actuality, the Black Mage (created in 1987) looks like Orko (created in 1983)… BOOM!

And how’s this for a real-life Scrappy-Doo… DOUBLE BOOM!

(Trollan pics via Frank’s He-Man Page, everything else is from Google)

A Handful Of… My All-Time Favorite Duets (Some Are Guilty Pleasures)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Peanut butter and jelly.  Peanut butter and chocolate.  Macaroni and cheese.  Chicken in a Biskit and Easy Cheese.

All better because of their combination.

Well I feel the same way about singers (when I’m not hungry).  Almost any song sung by a man and a woman is instantly superior to the solo acts.  Sure, some same-sex double-ups are equally improved, but today, I don’t feel like focusing on cheese and cheese (although that does sound appetizing).

In no particular order, I present my list of all-time favorite duets:

The Human League – Don’t You Want Me

(more after the jump) Read More

Drunken Recollection… “Swipe It Like A Credit Card” (AKA “You Might Scream 4 This”)

Posted on by sgottahurt

(Photo courtesy of Amy's quickness with the clicks)

Scream 4 is filming (for some reason) in Plymouth, Michigan (for some reason), and I had no idea as I made my way to the bar to play trivia (for some reason).

Anydewey, as I passed the set piece above, I didn’t pay too much mind since I was being trailed by a Plymouth cop (I had to hide my cell phone courtesy of a new law).  While at trivia, the team I was playing with consisted of some new members, so job talk was brought up, and the birth of this phrase was born (I think it makes a great rap song hook):

Swipe it like a credit card…

The job it referenced:

Border Patrol Agent

Well, one specific act:

I let you connect the dots.

So back to trivia…  talk of Scream 4 began, and I connected the dots.  So after the game, a group of us headed over to the Woodsboro Police Station, and I readied to snap a photo.  But then some teen rent-a-cops yelled that I couldn’t.  And for some reason, I listened.  Afterward, I wished I had said something like:

I’m using Google Goggles to see what this place used to be.

But I didn’t.

And it’s not like they had any authority to swipe it like a credit card…

Hibbidy-Wah?! Las Vegas Pistons Almost Happened (And May Still)?!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I think I like this logo.

Although odds are against this for now, there was a chance that Detroit’s basketball team was going to move to Las Vegas.  This opened up a table full of questions:

  • Would the Pistons have kept their name?
  • Would Detroit have picked up another team?

Okay, so a pair of questions.  Since the Detroit Pistons are currently up for sale, anything can happen before next season.  Aside from the move to another state, the most likely buyer could be:

Mike Ilitch, owner of the Red Wings and Tigers

But it’d be kinda cool if the buyer happened to be either of these guys:

Kid Rock and Eminem, but not in that order

If the Pistons did happen to leave, there could be the possibility of this:

LeBron left, so why not the team?

(SIDENOTE: You see, Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert is from Detroit, so you never know.)

MORAL OF THE STORY: Gambling is bad only if you’re losing.

InASense, Lost… Rated PG Bosoms

Posted on by sgottahurt

I know that there are probably way more, but these were the only films that the perverts I work with* could think of that were rated PG and contained exposed, um… why beat around the bush – boobies.  They were favorites of a childhood past (not just the breasts, of course, but also the movies… because of the tatas).

Arguably, most of the following films are children films.  Can you imagine if they tried pulling this off in kiddie flicks today?

Also, I thought this video was an ample match:

Because I’m such a nice blogger, each movie title is a link to none other than Mr. Skin’s thorough website:

Sheena: Queen of the Jungle

The Beastmaster

Sixteen Candles

Irreconcilable Differences

Clash of the Titans

Swamp Thing

Racing with the Moon

Airplane!

Logan’s Run

The Omega Man

*All right, I’ll admit it… I remembered all of them except for three.

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Classic Video Game Flowchart Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

(Mushrooms not included...)

This one is pretty (Press Start) straight forward.  I’m presenting the flowchart of a classic video game, and you have to  guess which game it is.  No multiple choices on this pack, folks.  Also, take note that this was more time-consuming than I planned, so the clues change accordingly.

1)

2)

3)4)5) HINT: This one is a game series

Read More

Awful Battle… Which One Of These Videos Makes More Sense?

Posted on by sgottahurt

You know what?  I’m going to let these videos speak for themselves.  You’ll never guess which one is easier to understand.

JusWondering… How Do You Dougie?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I JusLearned about The Dougie so now I was JusWondering about how to do it?

Apparently, the Cali Swag District are the guys that can Teach Me How to Dougie:

Hmm… I think I got it.  Perhaps I should check in with the inventor of the Superman dance – Soulja Boy:

Well, Kid Dougie and Young Ace are a little better at explaining the process (despite their decision to film outside on a windy day without a noise filter).  Plus, they add “The Wiggle”:

Okay, that was helpful.  But Lil Wil’s My Dougie might have set me back again:

Unless it all points back to this man:

The Human Beat Box himself, Doug E. Fresh