In My Brain While Sleeping… Belligerent Smurfs

Posted on by sgottahurt

Wino Smurf, er, Champagno Smurf?

This one’s a quick one.  My friends and I were at a concert.  We were drinking a craaaazy amount.  Oh.  And we were all Smurfs.  We were in cartoon form, but we existed in the real world, à la Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Or the upcoming Smurfs movie.  But cel animated.  Not CGI*.  Thank you.

Barfly Smurf

*yes, you better Smurfing believe this is happening…

(SIDENOTE: But then again, CGI could look like cel animation.  Take a gander at this Roger Rabbit 2 screen test.  He’s 100% computer generated.)

Musical Musings… The Grateful Dead Muppets

Posted on by sgottahurt

Someone once told me I would know The Grateful Dead’s Touch of Grey when I’d hear it after saying one time I didn’t know it.  This happened a long time ago.

Well, I finally heard it.  That person was right.  I did know it.  I just thought the song was by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers or the Travelling Wilburys or something else with Tom Petty in it.

But the funny thing I noticed was that it actually reminded me of something else.  Here’s a refresher for you in case you don’t know or forgot it:

Hear the ding-ding-ding in the background?  It sounds to me a lot like The Magic Store from The Muppet Movie:

At worst, it’s as similar as these two images:

I once made a joke at a Ben and Jerry's that their ice cream flavor shouldn't be Cherry Garcia, it should be Grateful Red. The girl behind the counter laughed. I didn't do anything else.

Talk about putting your foot in your mouth. No wait - scratch that.

Hibbidy-Wah?! File This Under “Why?”

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hipsters are fond of mustaches.  Cars… mmm, not so much.  Cars aren’t fond of mustaches, I mean.  Well I guess hipsters aren’t that fond of cars either…

This VW wisely avoided "The Adolf"...

Allow me to introduce the Carstache.  I figured it’s fair game after already sharing CarLashes.

What’s next?

Car perms?

Car comb overs?

Car soul patches?

Car beards?

I found this while double-checking for "car beards."

Worth 1002 Words… Gross Misspelling Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Chef Shamu

Other items on the menu:

  • Dolphin Unsafe
  • Killer Deals
  • Whale Sale
  • Orca, Uma

(Oops… Frey Wille in Santa Monica is actually a chain of jewelry stores… not a restaurant.  Let’s pretend it’s a restaurant because it’s easier.  And let’s not forget the main point – it’s a stupid name anyway.)

JusWondering… Why Do I Look So Angry?

Posted on by sgottahurt

…especially while playing Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters at Disneyland?

Reasons why I’m JusWondering:

  • I did get the highest score in my family.

258,000 points vs. 48,000 points vs. 10,000 points…

  • I was on a children’s ride.
  • I was playing a game.
  • Perhaps…

…perhaps it was because I was riding solo.

  • (I think it was because I was concentrating on my HIGH SCORE OF 258,000 POINTS!)

(SIDE QUESTION: Why do I look so happy in this picture?) Read More

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… License Plates Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m on the road a lot for my job, and I’ve seen more than my fair share of stupid personalized license plates.  There are even a few in the parking lot of my office that are idiotic!

So for today’s So, Duh! Pop Quiz, I figured I’d look up a couple celebrities’ personalized license plates, and see if you could figure out whom they belonged to.  Good luck!

(answers after the jump) Read More

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Vinylmation, Meet Kidrobot

Posted on by sgottahurt

While in Caleeforneeuh (that was my Governator impersonation), of course I had to visit the Disneyland and Caleeforneeuh Adventure Theme Parks.

While there, we happened upon a new Disney merchandising gimmick entitled… Vinylmation.

A taste:

Not to be confused with the Divinyls and "touching one's self"...

I should clarify this… it was I that was unfamiliar with the products.  My mother had already known about them and happened to purchase two earlier this year.  They were the display image on her phone, and I had no idea what they were until finding these at the park.  Mystery solved.

(SIDENOTE: It should also be known that my entire family is very Disney-fied. So much to the point that my brother knows – and swears by this fact – that the best gummy candies in the world are found in Disney theme parks.  He feels the same about their chocolate-covered pretzels, too.)

(SIDENOTE ADDENDUM: I’d have to agree about the gummy candy.  My brother thinks it’s because they use sugar from beets.)

Anyzip-a-dee-doo-dah, upon spying these Vinylmations, I immediately thought of these:

These are Ye Olde English Dunnies (I don't know if I should have pluralized it).

Kidrobot makes (or distributes) these painted vinyl rabbits, each called a Dunny (like I said, I don’t know if I can pluralize it).

Did The House of The Mouse rip it off?

Is it a Coinkydink or a Coinkydonk?

No, I really want to know.

Actually, I probably don’t care.

BONUS RIPOFF!

The only reason I know about Kidrobot is because of these:

Yes. These were sold by Taco Bell.

The conspiracy about the BellHedz can be read here.  Or you can read what (little) I had to say about them here.

A Handful Of… Songs I Haven’t Heard In A While

Posted on by sgottahurt

This post begins a series of what should mostly reflect my recent trip to California.  My brother moved out there; I used to live out there.  I wouldn’t say that I missed being out there, so I’ll type it: I missed being out there.

For one, I love my 89x here in Michigan.  Well actually, Canada.  While out there, I forgot how much I enjoyed KROQ, and I was glad to find that its playlist hadn’t really changed.

Here are A Handful Of songs I haven’t heard in a while that I heard there:

  • Bad Religion’s Infected
  • White Town’s Your Woman
  • Stabbing Westward’s Save Yourself
  • Sneaker Pimps’ 6 Underground
  • Ming Tea’s BBC

(Okay… that last one I heard while at Universal Studios.)

Drunken Recollection… An Incendiary Idea To Combat Incendiary Ideas

Posted on by sgottahurt

Travelling by plane used to be fun.  Well, I still enjoy it, but it used to be more fun.  (I really, really hate taking off my shoes.)

But all the increased security does, in my opinion, is increase frustration.  So one day while I was drinking, I was thinking:

If the authorities are looking for religious zealots, why not single them out by showing offensive posters?

I mean, if someone is that religious that they’re willing to blow themselves up for their beliefs, their reaction to a questionable image would definitely be a tell, right?

Take for instance, this poster:

I know, right?  And how about this particularly nasty one:

Well that should be enough to give you a good idea of what I’m talking about.  Now excuse me… after making those, I’ve got some vomiting to do.

No, it’s not from making those pictures…

…it’s from drinking!

InASense, Lost.. The Flintstones Made A Dick Joke?!

Posted on by sgottahurt

This clip comes from Asylum’s list of the Dirtiest Sexual Innuendos in Children’s Cartoons, but I have to put it here because it sort of shocked me.

I know the show originally aired in prime time, but I don’t even think The Simpsons would try what The Flintstones pulled here

– and no, that’s not an innuendo.