Drunken Recollection… Denver Airport Conspiracy
I’m a man that prefers simple. Cut to the chase. No silly games. WYSIWYG.
But I’m also the kind of guy that enjoys the bizarre. Against the grain. Conspiracies. WTF.
This Drunken Recollection involves the latter. One night after soccer, my friend Chris mentioned that my brother had a flight layover at the Denver International Airport, and that he had asked him if he’d witnessed anything strange.
I didn’t know what he was referring to, so he pointed out the likes of this:
Okay, well, that borders on the irrational and fantastical (and kind of insane), but the main thing was that these types of conspiracies existed.
About an airport.
And none of it dealt with the fact it was a international airport nowhere near any other nations.
The DIA Conspiracy Files blog delves further into other aspects, but as a (rational) counterpoint, here ya go:
I still don’t understand why a city in just about the middle of the state would be international:
It's the cream-filling between Mexico and Canada.
Happy Find… In An Ironic Way
Call it the Netflix of the art world! (Or more appropriately, the Blockbuster of the art world, since I can’t see either lasting that long…)
Introducing, Turning Art!
From my limited understanding (of not only the above site but the world), apparently you pick out artwork you want to hang up, and when you get sick of it, you send it back for another picture, à la Netflix.
Oh! As it turns out, I’m exactly right:
It’s kind of sad that the video only has about 250 or so hits. I wonder how many visits the actual site gets.
Unfortunately, the more I think about how I wanted to tease this site, the more I feel compelled to herald it. I don’t know if there’s an actual market for cycling wall art, but it’s great there’s an outlet for raw talent.
I guess my ironic Happy Find changed into a legitimate one, just like you can with duplicated prints!
Nope, I’m back to ironic.
InASense, Lost… My Sensibilities Are Waning
The older things get, the more faded they become. Take these two instances as examples of my fading mindset.
- I thought this was funny.
Apparently, there’s a company named this:
Getrag is an automotive supplier that makes transmissions. I never heard of them prior to driving past one of their plants, and I found their name to be humorous in a juvenile way, but if you asked me to explain why, my answer would be fuzzy at best.
- I thought this was creepy.
This all might have happened on the same day, but one of these pulled up behind me, and I thought it looked evil:
Hyundai Santa Fe
It’s not like I had seen one before (maybe I haven’t), but the design is intimidating. At least it was in person.
Man, was I off my game that day… or just hung over…
In My Brain While Sleeping… A Surprise Impersonator
If one day I break down to the point of requiring psychiatric help, please direct my caretakers to these blog posts about my weird dreams. I’m sure the answers to curing my mind can be found somewhere here.
What clues this might provide, I don’t know, but I was boarding a plane and there was a big kerfuffle about someone on board. The rumor had it was a celebrity, but the facts were unclear.
As I made my way to my seat, I was greeted by this:
(Fairly) Artistic Representation
As it turned out, I was seated next to the celebrity – the world’s best Billy Joel impersonator, Guinea Joel.
It seems like a punderferul stretch for my subconscious when this would have been so much easier:
Billy Goat
A Handful Of… Food Items I Should Have Thrown Out Long Ago
One of the benefits of having my house broken into for the second time in two months (yes – this happened, and yes – there is a benefit) is cleaning up old shit. In this case, it’s food that I should have gotten around to throwing out a while ago.
Sorry that the pictures below are not that clear. This is because my phone is two years old, and in the world of technology, it’s out-dated… just like this food.
It’s a shame about the Sean’s Irish Cream Liqueur… I’ll never know how tasty the 17% alcohol concoction could have been. That is, unless my sibs buy it as a Christmas present for me again. (Me and the booze have the same name!)
The Rice Krispies box made me laugh because of its screaming promotion for Monster’s, Inc. Jigglypuff elicited the same response (that’s the Pokémon on the Kraft’s Mac & Cheese).
And I have to be honest about one thing… provided I have a weekend with no plans, I will probably still try to eat the Campbell’s Soup and the Laffy Taffy.
Maybe I can sell The Simpsons can on eBay…
So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Candy Name Origins Edition
Soda comes in candy- and bottledy-forms...
Halloween is here, and it’s time to test (or bone up on) your candy history. Yummy!
1) Baby Ruth
- a) New York Yankee Hall of Famer, Babe Ruth
b) President Grover Cleveland’s daughter in infant form, Ruth
c) inventor Ruth Baby
d) it’s really a) but b) is the cover story
2) Snickers
- a) The Mars Family’s dog
b) The Mars Family’s cat
c) The Mars Family’s horse
d) The Mars Family’s hamster’s poop
3) Mike and Ike
- a) as a result of a company-wide contest
b) after a 1937 song titled “Mike and Ike (The Twins)”
c) after a Vaudeville act “Mike and Ike, We’re Just Alike”
d) after the founder’s family friends named Mike Greene and Ike Johnson
e) who knows?
4) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
- a) a former dairy farmer named Reese
b) a former peanut farmer named Reese
c) a former chocolatier named Reese
d) a former wrestler named Reese
5) Everlasting Gobstoppers
- a) the film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”
b) the film “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”
c) the book “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”
d) it’s all a big Coinkydink (or Coinkydonk)
(answers after the jump) Read More
Musical Musings… “Like A G6” And Other Songs About Transportation
The wheels on the bus go round and round and Far East Movement’s Like a G6 has my head spinning round and round like those wheels. If you’re unfamiliar, take a taste:
Are they singing about this?
An electric blue 2008 Pontiac G6 GT Coupe?
Nope. It’s about this:
The line "fly like a G6" is all the more clever now!
So in celebration of (quickly) getting to the bottom of this Musical Musing, I thought I would celebrate even more songs about transportation devices.
I’ve neatly broken up the methods into groups. Add more in the comments! (I know no one will do this, or maybe one person only, but I keep trying! I love comments!)
The Sugar Ray Travellers that Fly
- Aeroplane – Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Airplanes (Parts I and II) – B.O.B. (and Hayley Williams with Eminem)
- Leaving on a Jet Plane – Peter, Paul, and Mary or John Denver
- Paper Planes – MIA (kinda)
- Bennie and the Jets – Elton John (okay, not really)
The Incubus Travelers that Drive
- Little Red Corvette – Prince
- Big Yellow Taxi – Joni Mitchell, Amy Grant, or, um, Counting Crows
- Pink Cadillac – Bruce Springsteen or Natalie Cole
- Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin
- Mustang Sally – Wilson Pickett
- Bitchin’ Camero – Dead Milkmen
- My Hooptie – Sir Mix-A-Lot
- Fast Car – Tracy Chapman
- Drive My Car – The Beatles
- Counting Blue Cars – Dishwalla
- Piece of Shit Car – Adam Sandler
- Ignition – R. Kelly (heh heh)
- Honorary shout-out to Ric Ocasek and The Cars
The Christopher Cross Travelers that are Sailing
- Come Sail Away – Styx
- The Downeaster “Alexa” – Billy Joel
- Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot
- Proud Mary – Creedence Clearwater Revival or Ike & Tina Turner
- Southern Cross – Crosby, Stills, and Nash
- Rock the Boat – Hues Corporation
- The Banana Boat Song (Day-O) – Harry Belafonte
- Yellow Submarine – The Beatles
- In the Navy – The Village People
The Train Travelers that, um, Travel by Track
- Crazy Train – Black Sabbath
- Love Train – The O’Jays
- Peace Train – Cat Stevens
- Runaway Train – Soul Asylum
- Last Train Home – Lostprophets
- Last Train to Clarksville – The Monkees
- Midnight Train to Georgia – Gladys Knight and the Pips
- The Metro – Berlin
- Rollercoaster of Love – The Ohio Players or Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Oleta Adams Travelers that Get Here (If You Can)… Whatever Way You Can
- Love in an Elevator – Aerosmith
- Magic Carpet Ride – Steppenwolf
- Rocket Man – Elton John
- Airstream Driver – Gomez
- Convoy – C.W. McCall
- Bicycle Race – Queen
- Black Horse and the Cherry Tree – KT Tunstall
- Beer for My Horses – Toby Keith
- Wild Horses – The Rolling Stones, Garth Brooks, or The Sundays
The Traveling Proclaimers that Walk (I’m Gonna Be) 500 Miles
- Walk like an Egyptian – The Bengals
- Walk like a Man – The Four Seasons
- Walk this Way – Aerosmith and Run-D.M.C.
- Walking on Sunshine – Katrina and the Waves
- Walking on a Thin Line – Huey Lewis & the News
- Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen
The Shoe Crew (A Subsidiary of The Traveling Proclaimers)
- My Adidas – Run-D.M.C.
- The Vans Song – The Suicide Machines
- Air Force Ones – Nelly
- Louboutins – Jennifer Lopez
- Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes – Paul Simon
- Goody Two-Shoes – Adam Ant
- Blue Suede Shoes – Elvis Presley
- These Boots are Made for Walking – Nancy Sinatra or Jessica Simpson
Let’s be honest… Jessica Simpson never looked better than she did in this video (and let’s be more honest… never will again):
Awful Battle… A 5tup1d Tr3nd R3tr05p3ct1v3
We all Scream 4 I Scre4m!
Scream 4 won’t be out until next year, but that hasn’t stopped them from advertising it already. As you can see, the marketers have opted for 2 Fast 2 Furious-style campaign (image in gallery after the jump) that Tron Legacy and The Final Destination abandoned prior to looking, well, fucking idiotic (original images also below).
So if this “stupid trend” finds new life again, I may scream. But imagine the confusion if this method of advertising held true for other previous movies. We would have had:
- Seven Part 7
- Thirteen Ghosts Part 13
- Cradle to the Grave 2
- The Nines Part 9
- Three Part 3
- Menace to Society II
- Lucky Number Slevin 7
- Simone Part 10
- Layer Cake Part 43
- Leonard Part 6
Hibbidy-Wah?! From Hiccup Girl To Hit Girl
I have to admit I’m rarely surprised anymore, even though I do run these Hibbidy-Wah?! posts fairly often.
But you have to realize, there is a big difference between finding out they make moustaches for cars, and finding out Jennifer Mee, who is more famously known as Hiccup Girl, has been arrested for murder.
I’ll let this Florida newscast fill in the rest:
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