The Feds Finally Got Something Right

Posted on by sgottahurt

Why the long face? More importantly, why the big heads?!

I’m from Detroit.  Born and raised.  I lived in the city 89.47% of my life (I did the math.)  So it brings me great pleasure to know that my hometown’s former mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, has been sentenced to 28 years in federal prison for a myriad of fraud charges, while I escaped one – that I voted for him his first term.

Instead of pooring pouring one out for Kwame, I thought this song might be a better send off:

Former Kwame posts:

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#BeenThereDoneThatAlready, Subway!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Well that didn’t take long.

The so-called-artists of Subway apparently don’t exist in their advertising department.

Take a look at their latest commercial:

Why am I up in #arms, you ask?  Jimmy Fallon (and Justin Timberlake) already took a crack at this last month:

But what should I expect from a place that makes sandwiches?

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? I Knew Something Was Fishy About Oz The Great And Powerful

Posted on by sgottahurt

I saw Oz the Great and Powerful when it was in theaters.  Heck, I even watched it in 3D.  I wanted to like it, but those hopes fell asleep in the poppy field.

It was an attempt – but not enough of an attempt.  It seemed to try – but not try hard enough.

Here may be the official reason why – it’s a remake retread ripoff of Sam Raimi’s Army of Darkness.  Take a peak:

Hibbidy-Wah?! Run Away From This App!

Posted on by sgottahurt

So let me get to the point – Google has an ad for their new Maps app.  Let’s take a peak:

Google Maps takes you to Detroit?!  That’s what they want to represent?

The Detroit I see in the ad is one I’d like to visit, but three break-ins in three months got me to move out of there.  And now the city is as bankrupt as its government officials were when it comes to morals and serving the people.

Nice try at being edgy, Google.  If you love downtown so much, why don’t you move your offices from Ann Arbor to the Motor City?

You can’t, eh?  Oh.  It’s because you’re using Apple Maps.

Hibbidy-Wah?! Can This Be (Pause Like Chandler) Anymore Outdated?!

Posted on by sgottahurt

1992 doesn’t sound that long ago (unless you were born in or after that year of course), but this anti-piracy ad certainly dates the date:

Speaking of outdated, check out this meeting of the old and the new.  The ending before the ending is pretty good, and of course, so is the middle.  If you’ve never heard Leonard Nimoy singing the original version of the song he’s singing (no spoiler), then click here.  Otherwise, enjoy:

The Silver Lining… Let’s Laugh With Kmart Instead Of At Them

Posted on by sgottahurt

Is this commercial on TV?  I haven’t seen it.  But then again, I do time shift the ship out of my shows.

So could this mark a renaissance for Kmart?  Probably not.  But if we’re in store for a slew of new comedic ads, just maybe they’ll find more of us in store.

But probably not.