Christian Bale lost it on the set of Terminator Salvation. You would think it would be directed at director McG, but… it wasn’t. The Director of Photography, Shane Hurlbut, was fiddling with lights during an emotional scene (in T4… SRSLY?) and the Batman removed his cowl and bit down hard.
Thank you to the dearest Madame Librarian for bringing this light into my life:
Original rant with “explanation” here.
On the drive into work, I was stuck behind one of these vans:
Like this, but old and dirty, so not like this.
I was bumming a bit, then I noticed a face staring back at me. The shades in the rear-tinted windows looked like eyelids. The license plate was its teeth/tooth. The break lights were rosy cheeks, and the rusted deadbolt was a nose. The ladders, or whatever the junk was, on top made up the face’s hair.
It made me smile.
(Not So) Artistic Representation
Believe me when I say I was going to bore you with the details of my yesterday in comparison with what I expected it to be two days ago. You know that whole random winter Tuesday/Wednesday gag. So instead, I’m only going to bore you with highlights.
I’ll just note that things weren’t too far off from what I predicted as well as not at all the same!
Between office and store.
My experiment for the day (the day being Tuesday, or today as you may be reading this now, or long ago on a random winter Tuesday if you find this in the future – ah, you get the idea)…
I am going to guess the events of my tomorrow tonight.
For work, I am set to go on a road trip to Ohio, and it’s been yeeeaaaarssss since I’ve been able to do this. I have my iPod charged, my Mt. Dew and water bottles ready for the drive, the car loaded with supplies, and… okay, I know Ohio isn’t far from me in Detroit and Findlay isn’t that far into Ohio, but it’s still great to get away. Here’s my planned/hoped itinerary:
6 am – My alarm will start going off. It’s actually 5:42 am because I set my alarm ahead 18 minutes to get me two extra nine minute snoozes (I’m a snooze addict).
7:12 am – I will consider starting to get moving, but I’ll remember the clock is fast and I know I can get another two snoozes in.
7:30 am – I will kick on the radio, grab a Pop Tart (I’ll consider the Hot Fudge Sundae, but will go with the Chocolate Fudge considering it’s not as messy), and pore some organic milk (see Theory Sheet up above for reason why).
8:15 am– A shower, a toothbrushing, a drying, and a dressing later, I will be hitting the road, and moving off alarm clock time.
early 9 o’clock hour – I will see a Denny’s restaurant and evaluate my hunger and time frame levels. Denny’s is supposed to be giving out free Grand Slams from 6am to 2pm. I will suspect that I am not hungry due to the Pop Tart and will keep on trucking.
around 10 am – I’ll be arriving at the client, ready to perform the job at hand. I’m slated for six hours of setting up equipment and running wires.
around 10:15 am – I will find out there is some catch to the wiring job, i.e. there is no ladder, no drop ceiling… something that will put a snag in the time frame.
around 10:20 am – I will come up with some workaround.
around noon – I’ll realize I haven’t eaten since 7:30 am (7:12 am real time). I’ll consider leaving to grab a bite, but I’ll be in the middle of something and decide to work through it.
around 1 pm – I’ll call the Detroit office because the planned connection between locations will have some type of issue.
around 2 pm– Another surprise – spyware is on a pc!
around 3 pm – I’m really starving, but the end is in sight!
around 4 pm – I’ll be packing up equipment for the ride home. I’ll be wishing I stopped at Denny’s.
around 5:30 pm – After making it through a slight traffic jam in near Bowling Green (and stopping at the Meijer store located there for no reason), I’ll see the Denny’s I should have stopped at, and stop at a Taco Bell instead.
around 7 pm– I’ll finally arrive home, and realize I didn’t get a chance to write an entry for my other blog, Old Men at the Bar, because I was too tired for it last night/right now (how meta).
around 8 pm – I’ll realize there’s nothing on TV I want to watch, and I’ll be glad that I saved the last DVD from the 3rd Season of Weeds for tonight. I’ll hope there’s more than two episodes left, because I’m hoping that right now. A few minutes into the show, I’ll pause it and grab my laptop and write a post to see how the day compared to my expectations.
See you again tomorrow! (Wednesday!) (That random winter Wednesday long ago!)
It should be abundantly clear that I’m an unmerited fan (some may say) of Abby Elliott (since she hasn’t done that much on SNL… though enough for UCB). This is her best impersonation yet (IMHO). It’s also one of the few funny things that happened on Steve Martin’s latest stint as host:
Vodpod videos no longer available.
The Superbowl game just started and I saw a commercial against steroid use that uses the slogan, Don’t Be an Asterisk.
Too bad Walmart is in the process of changing their logo to this:
Ha ha, steroid user!
Apparently, turtles can run away from home. Within minutes of each other, I heard about two stories – count ’em TWO – about how somebody’s pet turtle fled the premises of their owners.
How could such a thing occur? Underestimation of determination. We’re talking about a species that fights to stay alive. It not only fights to stay alive, but they live, like, forever.
There wasn’t much to the dual tales of woe. The proud tortoise parents let their Sheldon’s or Shelly’s or… Terry’s (the storytellers could not deliver any names) wander about the yard, and not thinking much of their leathery pal’s abilities and desires, they left them unattended long enough to escape (or get picked up by hawks).
In honor of these two daring terrapins, watch this video about the little tortoise-that-could named Bob:
Almost seven years ago, this song reintroduced Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)? back into pop culture. Sure, it’s probably gone again, ‘cuz y’know, all these kids, with their short attention spans and stuff…
How have the fair Ladies of Marmalade, um, fared since? I’ve devised this nice pictograph to illustrate. Hopefully you’ve brushed up on your French!
Translations after the jump. Read More
From time to time, I like playing “What Superpower Would You Like to Have?” with my friends. It’s usually the guys who participate, but the ladies have as well. To play, you usually have to rule out the standards of the comics industry, like your Superman’s, your Spider-Man’s, and any of the X-Men. Only straight-up special abilities are allowed. For instance, last night’s trio of options:
Indestructibility was chosen by most (myself included, at first… I’m so wishy-washy). It was decided that this allowed you an extent of fearlessness that would bolster you upon whatever life path you wanted. Whether it be in business, in sports, or on the battlefield, you could be all you could be.
Invisibility was looked at as a shady route, which it most likely would be. You’re given the ability to be sneaky and spy, to be a pervert, or to be a master thief. No one selected this option… out loud.
Flight was a moot point, until my friend Devin interjected that it would be the most freeing. He suggested that life would be a little less stressful if you could get up and go when the world was getting you down. This got me thinking that I wanted Flight powers as well, because it too would provide you with an extra boost of confidence to accomplish more in this world.
Plus, how cool would it be to show up at the Red Carpet of the Academy Awards show, flying around, screaming, “Look at me! Look at me!” You’d take all the attention away from the glory hounds of Hollywood (but you’d probably also get shot down to be taken and examined, so… maybe not).
Here I come!
Devin also wondered if Indestructibility also provided some level of Immortality, because as he saw it, if the world blew up, you’d be stuck floating in space for forever. I responded by stating you probably wouldn’t be the only one in the entire planet that had this ability, which then brought the whole discussion crashing down. I guess the game of “What Superpower Would You Like to Have?” isn’t as Indestructible as I thought.
There are things you’re taught, and there are things you learn. There are things you know, and things you choose not to remember. Sometimes these things come up at the bar.
Here are examples are each:
1) Things you’re taught. I was unaware of the existence of cornmeal bombs, and then one day I was taught not only their purpose, but how they work. Thanks CSI!
2) Things you learn. One of my buddies (Derek) works as a scientist (he says he’s not but by all intents and purposes, I say he is – just like how I refer to my engineering friends as inventors). What his job entails is creating bugs that will get rid of these guys:
How much wood can a woodborer bore if a... wait, it can. So all of it.
What I think is cool (which is highly subject, considering I think it’s cool to be considered a scientist), is that I had no idea he did this now. The last I heard he was categorizing lake muck, no he’s scientist-ing with insects! Also, I had seen signs all around Michigan for years saying not to transplant wood because of the Emerald Ash Borer pictured above, but I had no idea that it looked… like… that. Not to sound stereotypical, but it comes from Asia, and it looks like something that would come from Asia (is that stereotypical sounding?), in that I mean it looks foreign, and regal, and traditional (nice recovery). Anywood, since it’s winter, Derek cuts down trees to put them in heat chambers that fool the little dormant buggers into thinking it’s spring, then he unleashes his (team’s) creations on them! Awesome!
3) Things you know. I haven’t played basketball in over a year, and I know I don’t have the right shoes for it, so I know that I’m going to get a blister or two from speeding running jogging up and down the court.
4) Things you choose not to remember. I haven’t played basketball in over a year, and the chance came up to play last night. I had a soccer game that started late, so I knew I could squeeze in a couple hours of hoops. Then I’d have no problem playing soccer right after…
[INSERT GENERIC IMAGE OF BLISTER ON FOOT, PROVIDED BY YOUR IMAGINATION BECAUSE I’M SUCH A NICE GUY THAT’S NOT GOING TO PUT UP ANY PICTURES LIKE THIS]
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