Happy (Geeky) Find… Turk As Lando? Yes, Please!

Posted on by sgottahurt

On last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (btw… can’t wait for Conan’s return June 1st!), Scrubs’ Donald Faison stopped by to promote his new film, Next Day Air, but who cares about that!  He has an even better idea for a new movie…

Via Star Wars Blog:

It’d be The Chronicles of Lando Calrissian starring Donald Faison. I’d be Lando. And it would be before he lost the Millennium Falcon to Han Soloin that Sabacc game. And we would be cruising across the galaxy in the Falcon gettin’ chicks, drinking ale. And the hair would be phenomenal! I’d have to wear a wig or what we could do is just shave my head for back in the day when Lando used to shave his head. He’d have a whole new crew. It would be before Episode IV. So Episode 3.5 or 3.6.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Happy Geek Find…“, posted with vodpod

 

BONUS STAR WARS NERDINESS: I thought of this idea a day or so ago for some reason… thank Jedis somebody else already made it, because I’m far too lazy.  I only wish it was made to Alien Ant Farm’s version of Smooth Criminal rather than Michael Jackson’s, as the original runs a little long, but hey… M’Beg’gers can’t be Chewies.

Awful Battle… Sherman The Robot Or Gary Oldman As A Little Person?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m not sure which idea/makeup transformation is more awful:

Sherman the Robot from 1989’s Millennium (which also featured Cheryl Ladd and Kris Kristofferson, as well as the thought-provoking closing lines displayed below the video)…

This is not the end.
This is not the beginning of the end.
It is the end of the beginning.

…Gary Oldman portraying Matthew McConaughey’s twin brother whom also happens to be a little person?  (Couldn’t they have given a real little person the part in the direct-to-DVD flick called Tiptoes?)

BONUS AWFUL: Did that preview really show Kate Beckinsale readying to perform fellatio on Matt?

(via Everything is Terrible and VideoGum)

Musical Musings… Why Do I Find Myself Defending Flo Rida?

Posted on by sgottahurt

When rapper Flo Rida originally burst on the scene (his song Low was featured in the award-winning-worthy Step Up 2 The Streets), I wasn’t a fan.  I thought the song was essentially shilling a catalog of products: Apple Bottoms jeans, Uggs (boots with fur), Reeboks (with straps), and um, baggy sweatpants…

But somewhere along the line, I got hooked.  The same happened with his follow up (In the Ayer) and Right Round, which borrows quite liberally from the classic 80’s tune, You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive.

Now know this – I usually can’t stand it when most songs lift old songs for new ones.  (Rihanna’s borrowing of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love back-beat to create the entirely different SOS was a major exception.  And I don’t count the Numa Numa song lifted for TI and Rihanna’s Live Your Life.)  And Right Round barely passed that opinion, but imagine my surprise when I heard Eiffel 65’s Blue in a new song:

Initially, I thought, “Oh geez, not this now!”  But when I figured out it out was Flo Rida, all was forgiven.  Why is that?

JusWondering… Can You Get Drunk Off Milk?

Posted on by sgottahurt

For the month of May I’ve decided to cut out some of the things that have made my life worth living… Taco Bell, Mt. Dew, beer, um, Taco Bell, Mt. Dew, and beer, yeah…

So far, four days in, I’ve managed to keep up with the plan and maintain the social habits in which my usuals are consumed.

  • Friday – MGM Casino and Detroit Tigers’ game (drunk kids behind us would have been more fun had I also been smashed)
  • Saturday – My brother’s play (totally would have drank afterwards normally, but it was actually really entertaining)
  • Sunday – My friend’s softball game (I’m the scorekeeper, usually armed with a pen in one hand and a beer in the other) 
  • Today – 80’s Night at Comerica Park (booze fest, natch)

Yet alas, here I am, prodding through with my plan, having nightmares about caving in and drinking Mt. Dew (seriously), getting tempted like crazy.

But something strange has been occurring the last few nights.  As I sit down on my couch to prepare for a late night, pre-bedtime viewing of TV shows on DVD (just finished the hilarious It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia… Burn Notice is next), I’ve been partaking of a glass or two of low fat organic milk.  And after drinking that second glass, I’ve been feeling a wee bit tipsy.

So I decided to investigate if this was a phenomenon, or merely something in my head.  I remember in the short-lived comic book, X-Nation 2099, the mutants would get drunk off of milk.  So why can’t I?

There are many cases of infantile beriberi (kakke) in Japan. In most instances the mother of the afflicted infant has beriberi. However, sometimes the mother is healthy (concealed beriberi). Ito observed such a case in which the mother did not have beriberi and called the condition “mother’s milk intoxication.” But he afterward changed this name to “breast milk intoxication” because he saw cases in babies who were nourished with the milk of wet-nurses.

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is very provocative in its media campaign about milk, but it is correct in its message. Beer is indeed better than milk for health, as are both wine and distilled spirits.

  • Doing too many shots of milk produces the same result as too many shots of liquor:
  • Bill Murray drinks a glass of warm milk before he goes to bed.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

more about “Bill Murray in FCU: Fact Checkers Uni…“, posted with vodpod

Happy Find… Robot Penguins, Living Walls, And Cracked-Out Construx Thingees

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s another dial-up day, so pardon the brevity of the post.  But do know this – Robot Penguins will always be a Happy Find, no matter my connection speed.

Also Happy Find worthy:

  • Flying Robot Penguins
  • Light Bulb Changing Claws (okay, well maybe not these)
  • Living Walls
  • Interactive Cube Thingees That Look Like Cracked-Out Construx Toys

For those uninitiated in all-things-Construx:

Legos were for nerds... Construx was for bigger nerds.

Legos were for nerds... Construx was for bigger nerds.

 (pic via ThisOldToybecause RetroJunk is a dick)

In My Brain While Sleeping… A Movie About Young Lesbians In Love And Kurt Russell And Goldie Hawn

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hawn-Russell is not a character from Star Wars, Pete! I told you so!

Hawn-Russell is not a character from Star Wars, Pete! I told you so!

With a post title like that, you might start to wonder why my lead picture is Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.  Allow me to explain…

Last night, I had a dream about a movie starring these two entitled The Organization of L.  What the title referred to, I can only assume, is some subconscious reference to The L Word, due to the story of the “movie.”

SIDENOTE: I was contemplating not posting this as not to give anyone any ideas, but then I realized, “Hey, I don’t have anything else to post today.  Plus, I just thought of a funny way to end it.”

The “story” was this: Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn lived in neighboring brownstones in some major city.  Goldie was a progressive-thinking mother.  For example, she let her son – nay, encouraged him – to play with Barbie dolls as well as well as his G.I. Joe’s.  Her college age daughter was a philosopher and a dreamer… and she has been dating Kurt’s college age daughter through most of the past school year.  

Kurt, on the other hand (yet in a similar way), raised his daughter as major league sports enthusiast and a tomboy, having no other children since his wife passed away.  They’re best friends, and he doesn’t want any boy to ever take her away.

Flash forward to summer break.  Both daughters are back home for the summer, and one night, while  Goldie’s daughter stays the night at Kurt’s house, Kurt’s daughter proposes.

Goldie’s delighted; Kurt’s confused.  Hilarity, sentimentality, and maturity ensue!

I mean, it’s not like the subject of gay marriage is timely or anything?  (Miss California’s scandalous topless pic here.)

A real boob (job)

A real boob (job)

And it’s not like anyone’s interested in the heartaches and heart warmings between two college-age lesbians, right?

All right Pete... I'll give you that. SamRo and LiLo sound like characters' names in Star Wars.

All right Pete... I'll give you that. SamRo and LiLo sound like characters' names in Star Wars.

INGREDIENTS: Two glasses of organic milk, which after drinking, made me feel oddly drunk.

(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… 80’s Toy Commercial Songs

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s about that time for another list from my boss, and long time on-again, off-again friend, Paul.  How do I know it’s time?  Because he told me so.

Top 5 80’s Toy Commercial Songs (Non-TV Show)

5) Madballs – Freaky fun for everyone.  I had one or two of these. [I had the mummy one.  I also collected the comics. Why they had a comic is beyond me.  Why I collected them is even farther out. – Ed.]

4) Toys R Us– Just like the song said… I didn’t want to grow up, either.  Some people, like this blog’s owner, never have.  [Damn skippy. – Ed.]

3) Skip It – A shoddy toy, but a cool song. [The counter on the ball is analog.  Totally worth watching the vid simply for that. – Ed.]

2) Lego – Like Zack, we were all Lego Maniacs back in the 80’s.  [Since I’ve never grown up, I’m still a Lego Maniac.  – Ed.]

1) My Buddy – My brother, Bert, had one.  Not sure what happened to it.  Not a big fan of the toy, but the song is so catchy that I find myself singing it to my two year old son, Logan.  I call him “my buddy.”  Pause for the awwwws.  [My eyes are still rolling which makes it tough to type. – Ed.]

Okay, for the real one, click here.

Worth 1002 Words… With Alternates

Posted on by sgottahurt

Darth Vader?

Ape Shit

 Other captions:

  • Blog Evil
  • Donkey Vader
  • Brass Monkeys
  • Monkeyin’ Around (still in scrapbooking mode, I guess)
  • Anakin Around
  • Chimp’n Sith

Happy Find… Michael Jackson Auction Items

Posted on by sgottahurt

This bit of info is about as late as my mail usually is (curse you enemy couriers!), but Mr. Moonwalk himself, Michael Jackson, recently hosted an auction of his fabulous stuff in Beverly Hills. 

Scratch that: he charged people $20 a (king of) pop to look at all his crazy shit, and then up and cancelled the auction.  But not before Lindy West of Slog (or should I say, of The Stranger?) was able to get in and snap a few pics.

Some highlights (not the magazine for children, though I’m sure MJ had a subscription):

Who drew this? That kid my eighth grade class that always doodled Garfield, Q-Bert, and ALF? (In other words - me.)

Who drew this? That kid in grade school that always doodled Garfield, Q-Bert, and ALF? (In other words - me.)

Creepy doesn't begin to explain this thing.

Creepy doesn't even begin to explain this thing...

Creepy definitely is a good start here.

Creepy is definitely a good start here...

Click on the links above the photos for even more insanity.

 (Thanks Veness)