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(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… 80’s Toy Commercial Songs

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s about that time for another list from my boss, and long time on-again, off-again friend, Paul.  How do I know it’s time?  Because he told me so.

Top 5 80’s Toy Commercial Songs (Non-TV Show)

5) Madballs – Freaky fun for everyone.  I had one or two of these. [I had the mummy one.  I also collected the comics. Why they had a comic is beyond me.  Why I collected them is even farther out. – Ed.]

4) Toys R Us– Just like the song said… I didn’t want to grow up, either.  Some people, like this blog’s owner, never have.  [Damn skippy. – Ed.]

3) Skip It – A shoddy toy, but a cool song. [The counter on the ball is analog.  Totally worth watching the vid simply for that. – Ed.]

2) Lego – Like Zack, we were all Lego Maniacs back in the 80’s.  [Since I’ve never grown up, I’m still a Lego Maniac.  – Ed.]

1) My Buddy – My brother, Bert, had one.  Not sure what happened to it.  Not a big fan of the toy, but the song is so catchy that I find myself singing it to my two year old son, Logan.  I call him “my buddy.”  Pause for the awwwws.  [My eyes are still rolling which makes it tough to type. – Ed.]

Okay, for the real one, click here.

Happy Find… House Vs. House… U.S. Vs. Japan… Guess Who Wins?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Just watch the previews for these, and comment on which one is best. 

Can The Greatest American Hero be defeated? 

If you answered yes, then I’m sure you’ll watch the second clip again and again and again and again…

If you need more (and you will), click here and here.

(via Bonniegrrl)

The NYC Saga Prequels

Posted on by sgottahurt

The NYC highlights are finito, so now I shall present the problems that almost made the trip impossible.  And to keep up the nerdery spirit, I present them as… the Star Wars prequels, because they’re just as shitty.

EPISODE I
THE FENDER MENACE

To keep it short – I was going to drive my car to New York.  It’s a bit newer than Steve’s car, and it gets better mileage.  On the why to get its brakes checked, an accident occurred that smashed my radiator (and my front fender and headlights).  So much for that…

EPISODE II
ATTACK OF THE PLANS

I’m not sure on all the details, but Steve was on a business trip for the first half of the week.  He was supposed to get back Wednesday (we were leaving Thursday).  Then his job needed him to stay a bit longer.  Then his flights were delayed.  Then his layovers were lengthened.  He made it back barely in time for our night soccer game.  He didn’t get to get the oil and tires on his car checked, like he hoped.  So much for that…

Oh yeah, so that, plus I woke up at 6am on Thursday, hoping to get home early from work in order to nap before soccer.  But instead, a client’s computer blew up on me and it consumed – no, devoured – my day.  I was at the office until 8pm trying to fix it, and to print out all the maps and instructions for our trip.  So much for that…

EPISODE III
REVENGE OF THE SPECTRAL FOX

On the drive to the Big Apple from the Motor City, I was wired.  Steve slept a bit for the first part.  Around 5am, I drank one of those 5-hour energy boosters, and Steve woke up to talk.  All of the sudden, I hit the breaks.  I thought an animal ran in front of the car.  It wasn’t until the shock of it all settled in that I could describe it.

A small red shadowy smokey spectral creature, like a fox, rushed into the road, looked at me, then darted back to the brush.

Needless to say, at the next exit, we switched.  So much for that…

(Not So) Artisitic Representation

(Not So) Artistic Representation

So what’s next?  Perhaps this:

In My Brain While Sleeping… Lily Allen, Free Tickets, And The Chinese Restaurant

Posted on by sgottahurt

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

 

 

So long as I’ve been following her on Twitter (I made it at least a few posts without bringing the micro-blogger up), Lily Allen has been playing a little game with her fans.  Every town she visits, she hides tickets and Tweets cryptic clues to their locations.

I’ve already dreamed in Twitter.  The next step was this:

When the British songstress visited Detroit, I tried figuring out the hints, but I didn’t bother searching.  My dream changed all that.

I was in a Chinese restaurant downtown near the casinos.  What’s funny is I don’t know if there are any Chinese restaurants there, and I certainly don’t eat Chinese (I stick to the basics of pizza and Pop Tarts, thanks).

Anywok, for some reason I was the host of said establishment, and there was a short girl with long black hair blocking her face.  She was hanging out in the waiting area, and she kept looking in at me, even though she didn’t have a reservation. 

Eventually, I realized that she was looking at my podium, and I headed to the front to see what all the fuss was about.  There were two blue tickets taped to the wood grain.  They weren’t official looking or anything.  It was as if they were made in Print Shop or something.

(Not So) Artistic Representation

(Not So) Artistic Representation

I peeled them off and Lily Allen rushed toward me, moving the hair from her face.  “Congratulations!” she said with her cute accent.  And no one in the place budged.

Disappointed with the dining crowd’s reaction, I shouted, “Free computers are hidden all over Greektown!”  Everyone leaped to their feet and dispersed, ditching their bills to do so.  I was fired on the spot, but it didn’t matter… not the way Lily was looking at me.

“Howzabout we skip me concert and go for a stroll,” she said.  And we did.

INGREDIENTS: Too much Twitter… and Jellybean Nerds.

The $500 Million Russian Bride?

Posted on by sgottahurt

meloksana1

This is not a Conspiracy Theory!

Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have reportedly split after 28 years of marriage.  The word on the street (where the Road Warrior lives) is that they’ve been separated for about two and a half years, and in that time Mad Max has been putting his Lethal Weapon in a myriad of young ladies’ Thunderdomes.

Most notably, he’s been sharing a few Tequila Sunrises with this girl, so he could, um, Pocahontas her:

Her name is Oksana Pochepa, if you couldn’t distinguish between all the mumbo jumbo Russian in the video’s title.  She’s a famous model/singer/model.  And The Man Without a Face wearing a blindfold, playing the sax in the video is not Mel Gibson.  It’s just a coincidence that his name is Mel.  Or least he looks like a Mel.

Apparently, although Mel is not Forever Young, he is still largely What Women Want(even though he’s prone to calling bazongas sugar tits), particularly this Russian hottie with such a Braveheart.

According to Oksana, from the Sun UK:

We are different people, but Mel is a grown man and knows precisely what he wants and me too — I know what I want.

They’re both such Maverick(s).  How could wife Robyn not see the Signs?  She’s sure to want to Ransom his nuts, or at least get some kind of Payback, right?

DING DING DING DING!  Time for some math!  Yay!

Here are the facts:

  • She’s 24. 
  • He’s 53.
  • His marriage lasted 28 years.
  • He’s worth almost $1 billion. 
  • His wife wants half that.

I don’t know what the math problem is, per se, but one question remains:

Is Oksana Pochepa worth half a billion dollars?

The answer: re-watch the video.

(Movies not used in puns: Bird on a Wire, Air America, Hamlet, We are Soldiers,  The Singing Detective, The Patriot, The River, Gallipoli, Fathers’ Day, and The Year of Living Dangerously… I probably could have squeezed in one of those last two)

(mostly via IDLYITW)

(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… Favorite “Family Guy” Moments

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s way overdue and slightly undercooked, but here’s the latest offering of my boss’ opinion.  Paul, who once upon a time was simply my “friend,” simply luuurves Family Guy.  This list is the fruit of  his looms his labor:

Top Five Favorite “Family Guy” Moments

5) Drinking game where Quagmire loses (click here for video)

4) “Puke-A-Thon” [Not to be confused with Stand By Me’s Barf-O-Rama. – Ed.]

3) First appearance of Greased Up Deaf Guy

2) Peter competes with his real dad in a drinking game (click here)

1) Randy Newman sings about whatever he sees

Happy Find… New “Star Trek” Movie Cut Scenes

Posted on by sgottahurt

OH MY BORG!

J.J. Abrams’ version of Star Trek hits theaters May 8th, but if you can’t wait for the DVD and all the extras, check out these exclusive cut scenes now!

P.S. I am so saddened by the fact I missed posting yesterday.  It was the first time in all my six months that I didn’t get to write or steal anything.  I have only dial-up at home and my iPhone’s battery went dead.  Woe is me… 

Thank space that Singing Spock brightened my day!

(and thanks to Dave for finding this gem!)

InASense, Lost… “Hi, My Name Is Sean, And I’m A Webaholic”

Posted on by sgottahurt

In deciding between calling myself a netaholic or a webaholic, it was only then that I realized the similarities between a “net” and a “web,” and I wondered if such naming was on purpose, but I digress…

Allow me to reiterate.  I.  Am.  Addicted.  To the TripleDoubleU.  (I was tired of using these “.” for a moment.)

I’d like to blame it on the stock market crashing and I will.

See, I work in IT, and just like how a stripper doesn’t enjoy bringing her work home (maybe that was a bad example), I wasn’t too keen on doing much on the web once I got home.  I had five blogs I regularly read, and I played on the Hollywood Stock Exchange (my user name is TakeOne if interested).  Otherwise I did banking and billing (and occasional drunk purchases on Amazon or DeepDiscount).

But when the market crashed and EVERYONE panicked, my company’s clients held their breath and stopped calling, and I was suddenly left with a lot of free time on my hands.  I never got into MyBook or FaceSpace, so I started checking out this whole blogging thing.  Voila!  MonkeyBlogMonkeyDo was born.

But now I’m in a bit of a crisis.  Over the last six months, I’ve kinda developed a needto be online.  First off, I have way more than five blogs to read on a daily basis.  Plus I have two (and sometimes more if I feel like it) of my own to tend to.  Throw in my recent crippling desire to Twitter, and it’s borderline unbearable.  For example, how am I supposed to watch TV and DVD’s without a functioning laptop on top of my lap (functioning = online).

Where the major crisis stems from is the fact that the neighbor’s wifi I’ve been “borrowing” seems to have been cancelled.  I believe this started April 1st, and I’m beginning to lose my mind.

I live in Detroit, and my only option for a provider is Comcast, and I can’t stand Comcast (although I do love their new commercials).  So here I sit.  Writing this blog.  Using dial-up.

Maybe I need to get this (click here to take you to the site because I couldn’t post it via dial-up!):

The Innernette! It all fits on one CD!

The Innernette! It all fits on one CD!

 Also, I feel a kindred spirit in last season’s South Park episode, “Over Logging.”  If you haven’t seen it, check it out here.  Just be warned – there is a very gross scene that even Trey Parker couldn’t believe they got away with putting on TV.

Okay, sure, maybe I’m just being whiny, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t find it fair that no one else but Comcast has upgraded lines in my area to give us consumers some options. 

…mjusayin…

Double Happy Find… “Like A Boss” & “Charlie The Unicorn 3”

Posted on by sgottahurt

Okay, I really didn’t plan on loading this front page with all these videos, but life happens.  Move or be moved.  Dance or be danced… or something like that.

And I’m technically a day late on both of these (well two days for the first one), so hopefully you have yet to bear witness to the Lonely Island and Film Cow’s latest masterpieces: