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Awesome Battle… Battle Of The Boobs!

Posted on July 10, 2011 by sgottahurt

Boobs are a national treasure (the fleshy globules, not the idiots), and they should be treated and protected and respected (?) as so. That’s why today’s Awesome Battle is a collection of products aimed at cleaving away negative aspects of having cleavage, I guess, if there is such a thing. Perhaps it should be an Awful Battle based upon the products being showcased, but what was I saying again…?

Cami Secret

Tiddy Bear

Kush Support

Take it on home, JaboOody Dubs!

Drunken Recollection… Funny, I Don’t Recollect This Drunken Treat…

Posted on July 9, 2011 by sgottahurt

…and that’s probably because it wasn’t a drunken treat.

But I was told this while I was drunk, and I believed my friend. Moooostly because of the aforementioned boozing and unfamiliarity with the product.

Still, who thought marketing juice boxes to adults was a great idea?

Probably the same people who thought using Richard Lewis in the commercials was the bee’s knees.

(Or Richard Lewis’ hair stylist, amiright?)

JusWondering… This Girl Can’t Be Real, Can She?

Posted on July 7, 2011 by sgottahurt

I’ve written about the Gregory Brothers/Schmoyoho before, plus who hasn’t heard the Bed Intruder or Double Rainbow Song yet?

This is their latest:

Can’t Hug Every Cat

Here’s the original for good measure:

But the question remains – this girl can’t be real, can she?

Leave it to this curious (as a cat) news guy to get to the bottom (feeder) of it:

Sure, it takes some of the catnip of Can’t Hug Every Cat, but it’s still a fancy feast (sorry for that stretch).

Musical Musings… Is There An Equivalent To Squinting For Your Ears?

Posted on July 5, 2011 by sgottahurt

If you squint your ears just a bit, Neil Young’s The Needle and the Damage Done, which is this song…

…sounds just a bit like Jewel’s You Were Meant For Me, which is this song:

It should also be noted that both songs are about addiction… Jewel’s addiction is only slightly more pathetic. Gah…

(SIDENOTE: I don’t really like Neil Young, but I like Jimmy Fallon’s impersonation of him.)

(BONUS SIDENOTE: Jewel’s covered that song.)

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? DQ Sells Old Spice Blizzards?!

Posted on July 4, 2011 by sgottahurt

By now, Old Spice commercials have become iconic. Whether Bruce Campbell croons Hungry Like the Wolf to a gaggle of ladies, Terry Crews punches words, or Isaiah Mustafa performs in-camera tricks, everyone has a good scents if it’s one of their ads or not.

(SIDENOTE: Somehow all Target commercials accomplish the same thing.)

I don’t watch a lot of commercials these days, but I have seen some that made me raise my ~~unibrow~~ eyebrows. Apparently Dairy Queen has been running this odd campaign for some time now, but it does beg the question… Coinkydink or Coinkydonk?

(SIDENOTE: Another question begged… will DQ singlehandedly bring back the moustache?)

InASense, Lost… I Thought These Were Bad Ads, But Then…

Posted on July 3, 2011 by sgottahurt

I saw this ad come up on my iPhone when I was looking for… something…

It's a Mexican bread company. They should know bimbo.

And I thought it was bad, until I was told about this ad:

This ad is being accused of a lot of things...

But then this… this… slide happened in Poland…

(SIDENOTE: I really like the version of Bohemian Rhapsody used in the background…)

(More Than) A Handful Of… Songs Named After Famous People

Posted on July 2, 2011 by sgottahurt

I was going to make this list based solely on the discovery of Frank Zappa’s Bobby Brown (Goes Down), but alas, it is not about this guy:

This was the key to Whitney Houston's crack pipe...

Even still, I thought it would be fun anyway to collect (More Than) A Handful Of… Songs Named After Famous People. Enjoy, or care less, which I will do in tandem with you.

Beastie Boys – Paul Revere

David Bowie – Andy Warhol

Duck Sauce – Barbra Streisand

Fenix TX – Phoebe Cates

Goldfinger – Wayne Gretzky

Gorillaz – Clint Eastwood

MIKA – Grace Kelly

Outkast – Rosa Parks

The Postal Service – Clark Gable

Scissor Sisters – Paul McCartney

Sufjan Stevens – John Wayne Gacy, Jr. (this one is creepy, natch…)

Taylor Swift – Tim McGraw

Weezer – Buddy Holly

(SIDENOTE: Obviously, this is not all of the songs named after famous people. I almost put Falco’s Rock Me Amadeus, Herman’s Hermits’ I’m Henry the Eighth, I Am and Kim Carnes’ Bette Davis Eyes, but their titles contain ancillary words.)

Hibbidy-Wah?! Wait, We Really Almost Lost Detroit?!

Posted on July 1, 2011 by sgottahurt

Local musical acts and local tragedies are a lot alike – they usually suck.

But sometimes a near-tragedy can inspire a pretty good tune from a (former) local act. I’ve written about The Victorious Secrets before (you might know them better as the Free Credit Score or Report or Whatever website commercial guys). Well, the lead singer of that group started another group called Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. and they gave us this – We Almost Lost Detroit: